If it's a severed head, I'm gonna be very upset.

New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-14T00:35:00.000-08:00

Well, kids. It's that time of year again and for those of you who have spent any time at all with me know that I am fashionably late for everything, so here are the late resolutions.

1. Stop attracting creepy guys. I seriously don't know what the deal is! This summer I went out with a guy who would NOT stop texting me and asking me what I was doing...so odd. And he was 30 and has ALWAYS lived with his parents except for his mission. He sees no need to move out. Weird. If we were to get married, I would have to live in his parents basement and watch him make out with his mom (too far? I think I felt that as I was writing it...)

Also, there is a guy in my ward that sat next to me for a total of 3 minutes at the Christmas party and HE. WON'T. STOP. TOUCHING. ME. He constantly has his hand on my arm and tells me he's saved me a seat. I don't know his name. All I know is he is creeping me out. So, my goal to is repel the creeps and attract Thor. Just saying.

2. I really want a long thin gold chain neckalace. Or chainses (pronounced chain-zez) like Mr. T. His symbolize the chains of bondage of the slaves. Mine will represent my personal bondage to pop culture.

3. Figure out a way to get free botox. Things are getting any prettier and my biological clock is ticking, so we gots to figure something out. Botox is the answer, I am pretty sure. Any good therapist (like myself) would tell you that.

4. Take more naps. I might just be saying this because it is 1:45 am and me so tired.

5. No judging here, but I am going to vote for the first time. I have never gotten around to registering because when I get my driver's license renewed, my birthdate is always just a few days after the deadline. I am officially registered now. Such a grown up.

6. Move out of Jan and Vaughn's basement. I have been looking at places FOREVER, but nothing is really working out at the moment. I need a big closet (I currently using 2 of Jan's closets- its called Occupy closets. The goal is to show the world that I need more clothes) and a place to do my crafts, tae bow (its totally coming back), Native American fluting, and, of course, my planking. This all takes up space so I NEED a big room and closet.

7. I found out that Thor is married. I cried for days. How dare he???!? So, my goal goes a little something like this "Nevermind I will find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you two (not. I hope she gets all disfigured). Don't forget me! I beg! I remember you said sometimes it lasts in love (but it helps when you have met them) and sometimes it hurts instead (like when in the movie you only had your shirt off for like 15 seconds. That hurt. Bad.)" Those were the original lyrics to this song. Just in case you were wondering. So, my goal is to find someone like Thor. That's all. It might be lofty, but I the only action I am getting is from a guy who just won't STOP touching my arm ALL THE TIME, so I will take my fantasy life. Aren't you all glad that you are not me??

It's been a while

2011-11-19T20:18:00.001-08:00

I have been such a slacker when it comes to the blog-o-sphere. I apologize to my readers (I like to pretend like I have readers...). And so, I give you the update on me life (I have been watching Dancing with the Stars with Jan and there is this super sexy Irishman on there and he says things like 'me life' so I have adopted it. He's not gay, just European.)

Well, I have been full-time employed for over a month now and I am very happy. I love what I do. I love having money. And get this, I have benefits. Take that Obama-care! Actually, Obama-care really had nothing to do with it, I just want to sound all political and moralistic. It makes no sense, but to others who know nothing about this stuff like me, I sound like a woman of the world. It's a lie. I am just a woman of Lehi/Provo.

In other news, I hate dating. Shocking, right? I know. I am not bitter. I do not blame my singleness on anyone but myself (and then again I don't really do that because have you seen my face? Ain't nothing wrong with that). I am not all grumpy about men not asking me out or the questions as to why I am single. I don't care. I just really really hate first dates......I can be oh so charming and flirty (haha...I don't think I know how to flirt to save my life) but I just get so BORED. And, the worst part is, I CAN'T WEAR SWEATPANTS. Horrible.

Today, I had a brunch date. Weird. I was up and ready by 10am on a Saturday. Tragedy. It was fine and he was nice, but his favorite band was Matchbox 20. Who's favorite band is Matchbox 20???? Gross. Now, are you sitting down? Because you need to be. He likes Nickelback. I feel like only Communists and Nazi's like Nickelback. Not because they like the music, but they know that its the lowest, dirtiest, most rotten form of torture out there. Everything I liked, he hated and everything he liked, I hated. Le sigh. It was not meant to be. He will never call again and I don't really care. We were set up through my sister in law, Polly, who was college roommates with his sister in law. Polly has never met him. It was one of those, 'oh, I know a single woman and you know a single man, so it's perfect!' Needless to say, I think I am done with the blind dates. No mas. I am seriously considering cats. Or a hair-do like Helena Bonham Carter. Nothing says crazy single woman more than that. Except Helena is with Tim Burton, but I picture him looking like Jack Skelington, so it really doesn't count.

In other news, I think I am moving back to Provo. Yep, Provo. I had dreams of Boston or DC and getting out of this one horse town (lie- I am sure there are like one brazilian horses in Lehi) and doing something different. I guess that is just not in the cards right now. Therefore, P-town, here I come. Maybe a new adventure will happen there. Like the guy who plays Thor will join the church, move to Provo, and fall madly in love with me. I would take that. Actually, I know a fine gentleman caller (I wish he were my gentleman caller) that looks like Thor and might be my dream boat, but alas and alack, he lives far far away and does not lover me the way I creepily lover him from afar. But that is another story all together.

Sad and pathetic things that happen to the unemployed

2011-08-24T22:44:00.001-07:00

Well kids, being unemployed does something to a human being. Not good things....no no....not good things. Here is how my life has changed.

Hygiene. What is hygiene? I gross myself out sometimes. I stongly believe that if you don't move much, there is less opportunity to stink.

Hair. This goes along the same lines as hygiene. I wash my hair soooo much less. I have adopted this new chic style of putting it in a knot on the top of my head. Its the new thing is Paris, Rome, and basements all across Lehi.

Couch time. Jan made Vaughn rotate his positions on the couch in the basement so he wouldn't get a butt groove in her sofa. Megan and I rotate positions every once in a while so our bodies won't get contorted in the same way each and every day. We are equal opportunity contorters. All parts must somehow feel uncomfortable. And this also lessens butt grooves which are an absolute EPIDEMIC among the unemployed.

Bad bad bad bad TV. Wow. I cannot even describe how bad. Oh, wait. Yes, I can. Yesterday we finished watching "To the Mat" a CMT original movie starring Ricky Schroader (who is no longer Rick Schroader, but Ricky again. Thank you. How else would we know that you are the boy from Silver Spoons?) and the Grinch in a blonde wig and VERY shiny pink lipgloss. Here is the storyline. The Grinch has left whoville and is now a finicial something or other who saves businesses. She goes to the south to help out the Slocum Academy, which is a school for WWE style wrestling. Wackiness ensues. She breaks up with her finance in New York who happens to be Jack Skellington in the flesh with Anderson Cooper's hair and makes out with the kid from Silver Spoons at a waffle house with her Grinch butt in the hair. But I digress. I watched the WHOLE movie. PA- THET- TIC. The movie and me.

Underwear radius gets quite a bit larger. I didn't do this, but I feel it coming. Megan decided she wanted a burger. She went out to turn on the grill in her bathrobe. Well, let me tell you a little somethin' somethin' about these robes. We all got one for Christmas and let's just say they are not the longest thing ever. In fact, they are quite short. Well, for any of you familiar with the Mormon underwears know that they are not short. She had many an inch haning out. And my parents' backyard is not fenced in. And bras are optional, if worn at all.

I am also beginning to feel that bathrobes are acceptable attire. Who needs clothes anymore? I certainly don't. I have always had a fond love of sweatpants, but a robe might be a bit better. My parents have finished the bathroom in the basement (because their children can't get jobs or husbands) and we have had workers here A LOT. They have all seen me rocking the bathrobe. Not the shorty one, but a much more suitable.

If I choose to get dressed, I only wear cutoff shorts and stripity shirts. My poor wardrobe is neglected. I think it cries for me out of lonesomeness. Did I just make up a word? What if I call if lonesomenessity?

I have fabulous makeup and am quite pretty, but alas, I am only operating at like 3% makeup right now.

I am pretty sure I done gone catch me a man like this!

I am in love.....

2011-08-23T19:14:00.000-07:00

I really am. And I mean it more than just friends. This is serious.

I love Ryan Reynolds more than just friends. And that is funny because he was in a movie called Just Friends.

I love Nutella more than just friends. If a woman could profess her undying love to a creamy hazelnut/chocolate substance and have it be socially acceptable, then this is it, people.

I love Matt Damon. I have loved him since 7th grade. I made a picture frame of tiny pictures of him at girls camp when I was 13. What did I put in that picture frame??? Another picture of Matt. On my mission, he got married and I told my companion that it was to me. She didn't believe me. LEAST favorite companion.

I love sandwiches and potato chips. I could/eat them everyday. When I run out of either turkey or chips, I get seriously grumpy. Then I go to the store. Then I am happy.

I love Dashboard. Don't judge. You know all the words to their songs, so don't be all "that is so high school." No, its right now.

I love to sleep. I mean, I REALLY love to sleep. If I have the option of sleep or food, I pick sleep (which is shocking because I loooooove food). Pick between showering or being the stinky kid at work (and/or school when I attended, but I have officially dropped out...or graduated), I pick stinky kid every single time. This summer (of patheticness/awesomeness) I sleep until 11 most days. At the beginning of my time at the parentals, Jan would say "don't you want to get up and get the day started?" I would simply respond that it would give me more time to think about how lame my life is, so I choose to sleep as long as I can.

I love a good book. I will ignore everything around me forever just to enjoy a book that is eloquently written or makes me laugh or cry.

I love a good movie. Anything that is well done will do. I seriously lack any sort of emotion about my life (except apathy), but man, movies really get me! I was watching Pearl Harbor for a minute today (staring my boyfriend's BFF, Ben Affleck) and I was tearing up! What is up with that? I had to change the channel because I just finished my makeup.

I love that I'm pretty. Is that horrible? Am I so vain? Probably. How sad would that be to be totally unfortunate looking? I am not gonna lie, I don't wake up looking this good (but oh so close....teehee...) but what if there was not salvaging this mess? I also love that I am a girl. If you are a boy and ugo, there is no help outside of dressing well. I have soooo many products that will keep my face criogenically frozen at 27. It's gonna be weird in 30 years, I tell you what.

Plans and expectations

2011-07-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

You know, I like to think that I am "on the ball" with my life in most ways. But I also feel that I am always working and striving to be better and do better, but I don't seem to make it, but isn't that what life is really about?

I have made plans and had expectations about my life that I haven't seen come to pass. I look at my friends from jr. high, high school, college and now even grad school and I can see the progression in their lives. Most are married and have kids, and those that aren't seem to be deep into their passions making the world better. I am not any of that at this moment. Then again, I have those friends that aren't married and are still trying to figure out what is next in their life and I do not envy the road that I have already traveled (ie grad school and finding what I want to do for a career) but I do envy the possibilities. I love having the world open to me to do whatever I want. But in terms of a career, I have made my choice and I am happy with it, but I still feel that there is something lacking in my life.

I decided that I was going to move to Boston many many months before graduation. I feel really really good about that decision, so I moved in with my parents in the between time. My parents are pretty fantastic and nag me WAAYYYYY less than high school (love you Jan), but is this where a 27 year old woman should be?

Anyway, so I got a job at Heritage working as a therapist and I am stoked about it, but I want them to move the whole campus to somewhere else. Perhaps Boston. I have a hunch that they won't, so here I am. I think that getting hired there was most definitely a sign from above that there is still something here for me, but I do not feel that way. I actually feel the opposite. I feel trapped. I feel like I am picking out cats, eating until I reach that critical and oh so fun stage of the "morbidly obese" and deciding to start dressing like my mother (who actually has great taste, so she will have to change that soon. I am thinking sweaters with cats doing funny things or t-shirts that say something like "your boyfriend likes me better than you." Side bar- can you imagine Jan wearing something like that??? I would just die. She has recently taken up wearing her overalls to garden because they are very convenient for it and I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard, but I digress....) I spent this week doing absolutely NOTHING because I have nothing to do. I don't have a ton of friends anymore because they are no longer living this single care-free life that I still have the ability and expectation to live. I want to break free. I want to break freeeeee (yes, sing along...)

I am happy and I am not throwing a pity party for myself because I actually am very proud of what I have done and where I am going in my career, but do you ever just start itching for a new adventure? I suppose that my job will be one, but I don't think its big enough. I have done the Provo thing. I have done the working at a treatment center thing. I suppose this will all change when I start in August. Just not what I expected. I guess that is why we shouldn't have too many expectations in our lives because they usually don't happen the way we think. Anyone else feel this way? Just sending it out there to the Universe (People used to look at the moon and say these things, but now we put it on blogspot.com or just say "earth to Matilda...hello....hello...."- name that movie)

Thor vs. Wolverine in a battle to the death! Or for my eternal love...

2011-06-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

Who is the more manlier man? In this in depth article, I will discover who is the manliest using a point system that is completely biased on my own opinion and therefore, totally credible.

In order to truly understand who is the manliest, we have to take a closer look at them sans shirts. It is only fair. This is a tough one. Both have REE-Dic-ULOUS arms they kind of make me wanna cry a little bit, but with pecks like that, I am afraid that Thor will take the cake here. He gets eight points- one for each peck and his six pack.

Superhero powers- Well, Thor is a God, so that is kind of cool, has super human strength (in every bulging muscle), but I think that a hammer is the weirdest weapon. My dad uses a Yankees hammer that my cousin Whitney gave him. The Yankees are awesome, but that hammer is no crazy-metalled-claws-fused-to-rapidly-healing-bones kind of weapon. I tend to like self-made superheros (which is why I will always pick Batman over Superman. Batman did it all on his own while Superman was just that way) So, we'll give ol' Wolvey 6 points for his claws.

Overall likeablity- Thor is a self-entitled butthead (yes, I said butthead. If he can act like a 6th grader, then I will use 6th grade name calling). He whines and thinks he knows everything and doesn't listen to his one-eyed father. Now, I have an uncle who just had his leg amputated and he is essentially blind, and trust me, I would listen to Steve if he were a blind one-legged God who had fought a lot of wars and kept peace in the Universe because he OBVIOUSLY knows more than I do, but in the end, he sacrifices being with his lover, me (ok, fine Natalie Portman) for the betterment of the universe.... Wolverine is no peach either. He actually is kind of a jerk. Most girls would find him mysterious and have this inner desire to save him from himself and try to make him a good man. Not me. I am a therapist and I absolutely would not want to come home and have to do therapy on him. I do not like the bad boys. Plus, he drives a motorcycle and my daddy said I could never get on one. He does fall for that Jean Gray, but never really humbles himself like Thor does, so here is three-quaters of a point for Thor. If he continues to prove himself, then we will round up to a full point.

Scary factor- they say a picture says a thousand words, so we will let the photographic evidence speak for itself.

Not that scary. Not that bad-A. Just swing my little hammer and I will either put a picture up on the wall (which a woman always likes) or fly through the universe.

Ummm.....how did they get every single vein in his body to explode like that? I don't think that while editing this film, they thought "hey, let's do some air brushing and make him have more veins so he seems more threatening." I think that the vein-spolsion happened on its own and I am a bit intimidated right now. If the question were "who could hang the family photos better?" then it would go to Thor, but in defending my honor (as if I had any....) would go to Wolverine. He only gets a half point for my honor. There really isn't much to protect....

Finally, the last round goes to the best accent, naturally. Both are from Australia so all I have to say is "yes, please." But, unfortunately little Hugh Jackman did not speak with his natural woman seducing native tongue while Chris Hemsworth did, so the winner winner chicken dinner in this category is Thor. He can use his native tongue on me anytime (that might possibly be the dirtiest thing I have ever written on my blog. What say ye?) Three points!

I'm also going to through in a little love for the actors that play them. I like a clean cut man, so let's get rid of the long hippie hair and the Ace Ventura copy hair cut.....

Hmmm.....I lover Hugh in Scoop. I have never such a tall dark and handsome man pull off a finely tailored suit like he does. But, hello??? Can we just take a moment to stare at old blue eyes here? Conclusion.......speechless.....3 points to Hugh for wearing a suit so well, and 2 points to Chris for peering into my soul (umm, confession. I just typed peeing into my soul. Not on purpose, but I did most certainly laugh out loud for a second.)

And so, the winner of the first Annual Sydney's Manliest Man contest is.......drum roll please....

THOR with 13 and 3/4 points and the close runner up with 9 1/2 points is WOLVERINE. But seriously....I will take whichever one I can get.

I am Katherine Heigl

2011-06-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

I was watching 27 Dresses and had THE most depressing realization of all time- I am Katherine Heigl. Not literally because I am actually Sydney (in case you didn't know), but it would be nice because she is rich and I like money....

So, in the storyline of 27 dresses, Katherine's character, Jane is always the bridesmaid and never the bride. I have not been a bridesmaid 27 times, but quite a few. In addition, I have done makeup and hair for COUNTLESS weddings. I have not had the opportunity to hold a wedding dress while a bride peed, but I then again I did flush toilets for a living for like 3 years.

In the movie Knocked Up, which I have never seen, she has a one night stand with Seth Rogen who apparently is a loser and she gets pregnant. I have never had a one night stand nor have I ever been pregnant, but I do tend to date complete losers who need to get their crap together. Unlike Seth Rogen, my guys never do, so this is where we differ.

In the movie Killers, she plays a completely awkard girl who does not know how to date. Did they base this character on me? I think they did. At the beginning of the movie, she has just broken up with her boyfriend who is apparently a nerd (I love nerds) and ends up in Nice with her parents. I travel with the parentals all the time. Twins. She meets Aston Kutcher (dreamy) in an elevator and is weird and uncomfortable and it is the story of my life. Where we differ- she ends up with Ashton and they kill people. I only threaten to kill people and by people I mean my brother Taylor, but he deserves it. He hog tied me last night.

In Life as We Know It, she plays one of the best friends of people who have a beautiful house, beautiful child, and another beautiful bestie in the form of Josh Duhmel (I would gladly lover him forever). She is completely focused on her career (which I was until I moved in with my parents. Have you seen their big screen and sat on their couch that sucks all aspirations out me???) and going forward in her life. She doesn't date. I don't date. Its natural, right? Where we differ- I don't have Josh Duhmel in his underwear in my house. That is the real tragedy here people. And the fact that I am Katherine Heigl. And now I have to get a snaggle tooth. Crap.

I got a job.....

2011-06-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been really doing anything much with my life post-graduation....living the dream at Jan and Vaughn's and watching Bones on DVD so I was not expecting AT ALL to get a job, but then again that is probably because I have not applied for a single job since graduating. A bit lazy......perhaps......

Anyway, my friend/cousin Kiley told me about a job at Heritage where she works. I don't check my email or facebook very often because when I have nothing to do, I do nothing.....Anyway, she called me and said that she spoke to her boss about me and they had me come in and interview. I wasn't all that prepared because she told me about the interview the day before, but I got it!!!!

Its a part time job so I am still looking towards moving to Boston...I don't know. If I love it at Heritage and I eventually get a full time position I might stay here forever....and then maybe die...Is this God's way of saying that I should live in Utah forever and die in my parent's basement????

Word Math!!!!

2011-06-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

new clothes-giant box of crap to go to DI+2 full closets/boxes of boots in storage= :( + ?

ceiling fan at night+bangs=dreams of spiders on my face

no job+lots of time=emptiness

Thor+me=love....or a really good time lifting things- he is HUGE people

Ok, kids...sit down and I will tell you a story....

2011-05-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

of a fairy princess who lives in the land of Lehi. Is she beautiful? Why yes, she is. Does she have a most fabulous collection of clothing and shoes? Yes, how did you know? Was she being STALKED by a bird? YES!!! Was it the most TERRIFYING experience of her life? Possibly....it all just depends on the author of the story- could it be Hitchcock?

So this fairy princess, let's call her Sydney. Well, Sydney was smarter than all of the fair maidens in the land (not really, she just dated less and chose a life of spinsterhood (again, not really)) and decided to get a masters in social work so she could be RICH along with being pretty.....(what social workers do you know that aren't filthy rich? huh?) and then moved home to study for her test and find a job to get her out of the magical (or depressing) land of Utah. As Sydney was moving her amazing shoes and clothing collection (its like food storage. All of my friends who are married say that once you are married, you can't shop anymore. I am just building up my wardrobe so that when I find my prince (yes, I just barfed in my mouth when I wrote that too) I will have clothing storage. I am just following the prophets here, people).

She was so exhausted that she slept for a long long time (or perhaps she has thyroid disease, but she looked better than Sleeping Beauty-that chick is a hag in comparision) and was abruptly disturbed in her sleep by the tapping of a bird's beak and the fluttering of its wings on her window (which is in the basement- that's where all princesses live...). She gets a little freaked out because birds are like winged rodents. She then falls asleep again and is awoken at the unholy hour of 11am (it is kind of awesome not having a job) by this same birds constant flying into the window of her bedchambers (that sounds so British) that happens to have a very deep window well....weird little bird.

Later that day as our princess is directing her servants (herself) where to put all of her glorious wardrobe (which might have taken up 2 closets at Jan and Vaughn's. No judging) this same little bird flies up to the window in the other room where there is no window well and begins to tap tap tap on. FREAKY. Then it does it the next day.....and the next day.....AND THE NEXT DAY!

The princess then goes and tells the queen about this bird and says she is living in a Alfred Hitchcock movie and the queen says "which one?" Yep, Jan is awesome. No, but seriously, if I end up pecked to death, just look for that robin outside my window.

The End

And for anybody who can tell me what this is from will get a figurative gold star-
"It walked on my pillow! It walked on my pillow!!!!"

This is serious business people

2011-04-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

No, but really. Usually when I say I am being serious, I am not being serious, but this time I am serious....

So, there are some big changes coming my way. I graduate! I walk a week from Thursday. I cannot believe that it has been 2 years. I have learned so much and grown as a therapist (it only added to my natural awesomeness in telling people the right way to do things....) and met some incredible people who have shaped my career.

The most important stuff that I have learned have been about myself. What people don't really know is that a 2 year Master's in Social Work program is actually a 2 year program where you examine every single thing that you yourself do, why you do it, and how you are a total screw up and need to do your own work in order to help others. I never understood why I was so stressed all the time and why this has been the hardest 2 years because the school work really wasn't that hard!!! I am coming out of a master's program with better grades than I have ever had in my life (and I have always gotten really good grades, so I have just improved on my own awesomeness), but seriously! I am EXHAUSTED! I just did some serious therapy on myself for the past 2 years. When I am doing therapy, sometimes it is necessary to kind of knock people on the side of the head and show them what they are doing wrong in certain situations, but you do it in such a nice way where they come to it on their own that they leave your office feeling so good and motivated, but that is NOT the way it goes when you are doing your own therapy. Its just a bunch of hard knocks and then you trying to figure out what to do next......

So, what am I doing next, you ask? I am moving in with my parents. I haven't been without a job or without school since I was 15. I have nothing on my calendar except spending a whole 10 days withe the love of my life, Cal (he's my 19 month old cousin's son) and going to dinner with the wonderful ladies that I served with in the stake relief society presidency at BYU. I will also be studying for my licensing exam, taking it, and applying for jobs. After that? Who knows.

I really feel that the place for me is Boston right now. When I got home from my mission, I really didn't know what I was going to do, so I studied English. I have always loved literature and writing, but apparently it wasn't for me. Then one of my mission companions/friend since I was 12 said to me "Syd, why aren't you a social worker? You have always been meant to do that." I changed my major the next day. Everything fell into place from there and that is why I am NOT at all worried about the next step/job/place to live in my life. God has something out there for me (and hopefully he's over 6 feet tall) and I am just content doing what I need to be doing to get there. I will find the job that is right for me and I will pass my exam. This is the year of the Sydney, people. The year of the Sydney. Just remember that.

Anderson Cooper

2011-04-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

I think that when Anderson is giving the news and interviewing other people, that they really should not EVER take the camera off of him...... That is all I am saying... hot hot hot. I want to love him forever. While we are at it, I also think David Wallace is soooo attractive.

My lifetime regrets

2011-04-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

You know, I am staring down at the ripe old age of 27 1/2. Yep, you heard me right. I am old. I am surprised I can still see enough to type this blog....but getting older in age is helping me to realize that there are some things that I have done and experienced that I absolutely regret doing, and if I could go back and change it, then I would. It is hard to live a life with regrets, so I am sending them out there to the universe to hopefully ease my conscience and help me to sleep at night.

Regret #1 This one is the hardest to admit, but I am going to be a grown-up and just say it. I have read all 4 Twilight books. And I liked some of them....well, the first one I liked the most. It sucked me in- promising me that perhaps someone strong and protective was out there for me, but alas, Edward failed me. He became controlling and lame and horrible and Robert Pattinson. Ew. Then I read the fourth book and it was AWFUL. Bella became selfish and awful and whiney and the worst character ever written. She single handedly took the women's rights movement back 30 years.

Regret #2 I watched 2 of the Twilight movies. I should have learned my lesson. They were both so very bad. I did enjoy Taylor Lautner's abs, but he is young and therefore I am gross. And because I saw the second movie, that means I saw Robert Pattinson shirtless. Let me tell you, its not pretty and it is forever burned into my memory....

Regret #3 I saw Time Traveler's Wife. See previous post about the horrid nature of this movie.

Regret #4 I regret not kissing a few gentlemen callers in the past. None of them are from high school. I just want to make that clear. I sincerely regret not being more slutty in the past. My roommates and I read a study where the average person kisses 27 people in their lifetime. Let's just say that I might be WAY behind on that and am now set in my ways, therefore, I don't think its going to happen. But then again, if I never marry (which is likely given my abrasive personality) I might reach that by the time I am 100...ok, probably not. But if I was sluttier, I could have gotten more presents from men, specifically jewelry.

Regret #5 Not having a trust fund.

Regret #6 I regret being so awesome. Ok, I don't. I am awesome.

I might have lost my mind....

2011-03-30T14:07:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that Jan tainted her children from loving animals, but I stumbled across this picture of a friend of a friend's dog on facebook and I love him. His name is Herbet (or at least in my mind it is) and he is not a puppy, but a care bear. He is an old soul- very wise and compassionate. Could you not just die with how cute he is?

The promise of Spring....

2011-03-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

So, as you all know, I am not a sports fan. March Madness means nothing to me. Those who can't do....don't really find enjoyement in watching those who can do. Sorry. But I must say that I do kind of love Jimmer. How can you not love Jimmer? Everything I learned about Jimmer, I learned from my 1 1/2 year old nephew, Cal (technically he is not my nephew, but my first cousin once removed, but my family probably will never have children, but gosh darn it, they will have an amazing education). He loves Jimmer, or as he says, "Mimmer."

I also love the spring because it brings new beginnings. Just like in Young Womens. Or not just like that. I graduate in like 7 weeks. Can you believe it??? Can you believe that all of my whining and complaining will end in 6 weeks (7 until graduation)? I can. It has been long, and hard, and I am ready for it to be done. But until then, I have enough homework to choke a donkey. Does that saying fit. I don't think so, but we are going with it people. And I have a licensing exam to take. Color me excited.

Future plans- Megan and I are moving to Boston. You have probably seen that on my facebook and I don't think that anyone thinks its going to happen, but it is. I am only applying for jobs out there because I have to leave Utah or I will die. It is not that I don't love it here, because I do. I am so grateful to have grown up here and gone to college here. It has been fantastic, but if I have to pretend like I date here or want to date here, I will die-or be really dramatic. Not working. It never has, so I will try life out somewhere else. Taylor doesn't want Meg and I to move there. Not because he will miss us, but because he HATES the Red Sox and Patriots. Thanks for the support, bro.

Speaking of the buttface that is my lil' bro, he gets married on the 16th of April. Weird. When he left of his mission, he told his 3 older, single sisters that he wanted us all to get married while he was gone. We lol-ed and said that he would probably be the first married. Fast forward 3 1/2 years and he is the first one married. We LOVE Polly and are so grateful she is taking him off our hands....Jan is always saying that he is no longer her problem, which is amusing and true.

Nothing really funny about any of this. Sorry. My life is too boring/crazy busy to be funny right now. Oh, my pot smoking misfits of neighbors got evicted. Oh, bless the rains.

The best Valentine ever....

2011-02-15T11:25:00.000-08:00

I really have the best Valentine ever. I am so lucky to have my Valentine (myself) in my life. My Valentine really spoiled me yesterday. First of all, my Valentine made me an appointment with my doctor!!! Can you believe it??? Some people get flower's and chocolates, but my special someone let me go get my blood drawn. Tender. Then it was off to Costco where I saw all the lovers of the world purchasing flowers. I got brussel sprouts! (seriously, I bought brussel sprouts. They are tasty.) Then I got a massage and my nails done by my cousin Whitney. BEST. VALENTINE'S. DAY. PRESENT. EVER. Then it was off to lunch with lil' brudder and the parentals. Then again it was off to work. Then off to FHE. Then back to the parent's house because my car is in the shop and I had Janet's car. If my Valentine really loved me they would have given me my mom's car instead of my beauty that currently has 176,234 miles on it. Le sigh....maybe next year my amor will give me a new car, but I will just have to settle for the homework that I forgot was due yesterday at midnight that I started at 11:24. Happy Valentine's day to me!

Some more resolutions!

2011-01-21T16:45:00.000-08:00

This year I thought I would document my new year's resolutions because I always forget what I said I was going to do. Now, I know you all will think, "YES! Now that is a resolution!" And work towards being more of what I will be by the time 2011 is over....

1. Win Publisher's Clearing House. I am Mormon so the whole gambling lottery thing is out of the question, but something HAS got to give here, people. I owe Obama so much money and he never told me about this whole paying him back thing...

2. Perfect my Scottish accent. I can pretty much pass for British so it is time to move forward to another part of that world.

3. Become a natural blonde. I am sick of this whole getting my hair done every 8 weeks. Time to change that business.

4. Stop spilling orange juice on top of my head. I have pictures and a story for a later post.

5. Shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. I keep singing about, so I think I better do it otherwise everyone might start to think I am lying.

6. No split ends in 2010.......doesn't sound as good as 2011.

7. Find that unicorn again. I swear we saw a white unicorn frollicking in the hills this summer.

8. Eat more donuts. Nuff said.

9. Graduate from school. This one is serious. Sorry.

10. Wear my sweatpants more often. I welcomed a new pair from Yale this year. I might purchase some U sweats.....still thinking about it.

11. Become a Samuari master. Can totally happen.

Yep, I have some lofty aspirations for 2011.

A Year in Review

2011-01-04T13:19:00.000-08:00

So, I dedicate this to Mike and Madelyn since I just had lunch and they told me it was time to update the ol' blog, so here it is.

2010 was a hard year, I am not going lie. I had to watch The Last song staring a brooding Miley Cyrus and Greg "my career is dying" Kinear. I was visiting my friend Tia in Montana and she made me. As all of you know, I hate Nicholas Sparks. The devil has a special place reserved for him in hell. It was bad, there were sea turtles, and (spoiler alert) Greg dies. Nicholas need new material.

In addition to having to watch that, I was busy and stressed and tired and Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat which really ruined my desire for sandwiches, which is really important to me! Work has been very good, but very exhausting. I love working for the church and being able to therapize some peeps, but I am a work-a-holic. You wouldn't know that about me if you just met me because I come off VERY lazy, but oh contraire (did I just make up a word? or at least the spelling? I could look it up, but I'm too lazy) I work a lot and I schedule my time far far in advance. For instance, I was set up on a couple of blind dates this year (its my thing, you know- keep sending them my way. I accept applicants from ages 21 to 35) and I had to schedule them out a week or two in advance. Busy busy.

Another reason that 2010 wasn't that great of a year- I have to wear nylons to work. Sometimes I don't (rebel) but when I do, they just cut my stomach in half and cause all sorts of bunching. I remember the days of being a missionary on the streets of NYC and having to wear layers upon layers upon layer until I looked like the kid on a Christmas Story, but who was I trying to impress??? Sooooooooooo ugly. Ask anyone. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Taylor got engaged this year. I love his fiance Polly. She is so wonderful and she likes Taylor, which is a miracle. The first Beames to get married is the baby. I think my mom did some serious damage to her girls......that is something I learned in my classes at school- blame the mother, works everytime.

My cousin Paige married my cousin Jarvis, which is weird. My 2 first cousins got married. Can we say backwoods??? Just kidding. It is a little odd. Her new last name is Beames......which is an awesome last name (you all are thinking "sure it is....."), but in our old ward in Provo, we all lived together and everyone knows that the Beames and the Hansens are cousins, so when Jarvis moved into the ward, everyone assumed they were cousins when they were actually engaged. Gross kids. On the bright side of things, I caught the bouquet. The last time I caught the bouquet was at Scott and Eva's wedding and I was the only single girl over the age of 7. I had the whole height thing going for me. Then they all cried so I gave it to them. I am so ashamed. Since that time I have pretty much shunned the whole bouquet toss, but I had to support of my 2 single sisters and a couple of Paige's cousins on the other side who are probably around 18. I had the height thing on my side again this time, but at least there were 2 adults and a couple of girls who should be graduating from young women's soon as my competition. It is definitely the year of the Sydney.....or all of my extended family (on both sides because they were all there) said it was. 2011, here I come.

So, I have some BIG news....I got bangs. Not the swoopy to the side stuff, but full on Tootie from facts of life. I. LOOK. GOOD. Just like this minus the turtle neck. Everything else is the same.

Ok, my peeps, I will try to be better at this whole blogging thing, but I don't forsee that happening until I find me a sugar daddy so if you know someone looking for a trophy wife, I am your girl!!!

27 is the year......

2010-11-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

For many many things. This is what I am expecting for 27. I will GRADUATE! I am going to go back to Europe this year. It must be done. I will get a big girl job. I will have my own health insurance! Such a big girl. I will feel so very adult. In being an adult, I have decided to start doing adult things.

First of all, I went to my personal makeup artist and learned how to wear lipstick! Wha???

My lips look just like this. You jealous?

The next grown up item is that I am also wearing perfume...or attempting to find something that will accentuate my pretty face with a pretty smell. My siblings are so wonderful- they gave me a gift from Dillards. Its an event! I think going to an event sounds so adult. It's at La Chaille (very grown up) and they have all sorts of perfumes that you can chose from. It's $35 and you get admission to the event, a $25 gift certificate that you can spend at the event and a purse FULL of samples. Go to Dillards. Get one. I'll see you there.

Now, as part of being a grown up, it is time to decide on a few things that I am too old for:

#1 Going to parties. I hate them. I used to love to dance around and flirt with all the boys, but I can't stand it anymore. The men that go to parties to pick up on women are generally Ed Hardy wearing narcisstic shallow tools. Just saying. Sorry if I offend anyone. I have no desire to talk to, flirt with, or date men like that. But then again, there is no threat there because men like that don't date. They hang out. I am too old for just hanging out. You want to see me? Call me. Take me out. But I digress....parties are LAME....strutting my stuff is LAME (the stuff isn't lame but feeling the need to is LAME). And so, I am giving up parties cold turkey unless its a friend's celebration of their birth.

#2 Men who hang out and don't date . See above. Just ask me out. I will say yes.

#3 Men who dress like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. When did this style come back in? Its ridiculous. It is not 1989. Dress like an adult. I cannot date anyone who dresses "ironically." What is that? Be an adult.

Ummmmm........hmmmmmmm.......no thanks.

I want a man that dresses like this:
This is attractive. I want a man like these. Also, if I date a man who dresses like this, no one will ask me why I dress like this:
Also, what is up with dudes shaving steps into the side of their head. Hate it. And the embroidered shirts and Italian boots. No thanks. Move along. Go to your party and find a girl dressed in lingerie and mouse ears that will make out with you and then not understand why you haven't called. Not for me.

PS I haven't seen Mad Men, but apparently I LOVE the fashion.

Just a few things...

2010-10-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

So, life has been pretty busy this past semester. I am working 25 hours a week as a THERAPIST!!! They give me clients and I am the only one that sees them! These people are crazy-referring to my employers, not my clients... I have been pretty lucky in having wonderful supervision and a life that has led me to this career path. I actually think that I've done a semi-decent job.... Are you all a little shocked right now that I'm not singing my own praises like I always do? These are people's lives, kids. Can't be that awesome, but I am as awesome as possible for being a novice therapist.

New subject- I love the fall. To me, it is the time of new things. I really love change and it's a new semseter, new people in my life, new ward members, new experiences. I love fall wardrobe. I love boots and sweaters and scarves and layers! Oh, how I can do soooo much with accessories and layers! And belts! I told my friends in my program today that my shopping is like food storage. Everyone says that when they get married, they can't go shopping like they used to, so I am following the prophet and storing up for the long winter of marriage....

Also, its my birthday. And shockingly enough I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!!! I think that its the perfect day...October 25th...As most of you know, I had the most ROCKIN' golden birthday 2 years ago (right, Erin? Doesn't get any better than that) and now that I am looking old age in the face (27!!!! What?) I realize that I am grateful for many many things, but mostly for Vivian, my personal makeup artist and Lancome representative that hooks me up with amazing anti-wrinkle cream. Bomb. Just kidding, but I'm not. Plus, it is right by Halloween which is the best theme for a party at any age. 2 months until Christmas, I could go to any dance in high school, I was one the first to drive (not that I did, I didn't get my license for like month. Lazy? Yes. Friends with better cars? Yes). And the most important part of my birthday is that everyone I love is celebrating me! Not really.....I love being around the people I love. When I left on my mission and was giving my farewell talk, I sat on the stand and looked out at all of the people who love me that was so humbled that God would bless me with such incredible people. So, thank you to everyone who has been a part of my life and shown me such amazing love.

Also, I am grateful for my life. Years ago if you would have asked me where my life would have been, this is not what I would have chosen. I would be married with babies (cuz I love me some babies) and not working because I am lazy and want to be a trophy wife. But, I have had immense opportunity to learn and to grow. I reupholster freaking chairs! Who does that? I am awesome. I have a wonderful family and so many opportunities to travel that others who are my age don't have. I am lucky. I am happy. I eat donuts whenever I want. I have 4 new pairs of boots. I live close to a little caesars. My earring collection is immense. Vaughn is the hulk and lives off caramel. Jan likes it when you booty shake her. I get to call my parents by their first names. I have wonderful roommates who are throwing my a birthday party tomorrow night themed "2001" from when I turned 18....not old....Well, this has been a much more reflective and mushy post than I have probably ever had. Anyway, LIFE IS GOOD!

I feel so accomplished!

2010-10-07T14:50:00.000-07:00

This semester has been super BUSY! Not hard, just time consuming, so I decided that I would add to my busy by re-upholstering my hideous chair and ottoman (like the empire? Not sure) that I bought a year ago from the DI. It's very comfy, but had a slight stink of the 70's to it..... and I'm not just talking about the upholstery. It smelled as I imagined the 70's did- cigarettes, dust, old people, and hippies.

I think that you call can smell it.....just imagine.

Here I am tearing it apart. I found a really nice pen, an old cigarette, a dime and a whole lot of velvet dust. I had no idea that velvet created dust but it does and it's weird. I kept the dime and pen.

Here I am just plugging away! I did the ottoman first then attacked the cushion and sides. Easiest to hardest.

The only sewing I had to do was on the front where the sides connected. It surprisingly turned out well. Not sure why I did all of this in a dress that day. Bless the staple gun! My hand was SUPER sore from all the stapling and now my carpet, despite vacuuming, still has staples everywhere.
You can see the velvet dust in front of the chair. So weird. So smelly. Didn't it turn out so cute???
Here it is with the ottoman and yes, it does rule just like the empire. I am not going to lie, I am a little afraid to sit in it because it might all completely fall apart. I did this with NO instruction at all and just did what I could. Yes, I must say, I am awesome.

When mama is out of town...Vaughn gets sad....

2010-10-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

My mom left for Prague yesterday morning at 5:30am. This is a detail list of all that the Vaughner has done since she left.

-Go to Smith's and buy a dozen maple bars, deli cheese and turkey, and a baguette.
-Call his children at 8:30am to invite them to come watch conference at the house (remember that he dropped her off 3 hours before). He tried to bribe them with said maple bars.
-At 5 when I got there, he had eaten almost all of the baguette, the turkey, the cheese and 8 maple bars.
-Came home from Priesthood and ate the rest of the baguette some more turkey and cheese even though he knows there is pizza coming in 5 minutes.
-Finished off the donuts (he ate 10 donuts in one day......love him....)
-Ate LOTS of pizza (but then again so did I)

This is why Jan can't leave. Vaughn needs supervision.

New Year's Resolutions

2010-09-07T21:55:00.001-07:00

I would like to dedicate this blog post to my dear friend Alana. I am not very dedicated in the blog world, but sometimes a reminder to not neglect my online journal (I need to keep this for future posterity....ya, I want my kids to read about how I will be a trophy wife...don't think so. And kids would mean husband and I think this blog might keep the mens away)

Many people start their New Year's resolutions at the beginning of the year, and I do, but I also do some new school year's resolutions. I will detail both of them.....

January 2010.....
So, I am not very good at writing these down. Ever. This is what I remember and its probably the only one that stuck. I was going to and am currently flossing my teeth more frequently. Props to me. My teeth and gums are awesome and they thank my amazing goal setting and achieving capabilities.

I might have said that I wasn't going to shop as much, which didn't happen; that I was going to go to the gym, which has kind of happened but not until last week. I went three times. Sweet, but I ate more donuts in said week than I went to the gym. Does it still count? I say yes, but only because I intuitively ate those donuts. And finally, drumroll please.......that I was going to get a boyfriend. HA! Not a resolution, but I did go to Vegas in January and had a guy face rape me. Traumatizing, but it can count.

September 2010....
Let the school year begin! I always start out saying that I will read the material, that I will pay attention in class, and be on top of my homework. That lasts about as long as the thought takes place in my brain. I am now setting realistic goals that will actually benefit me, such as: only buy books that I have to. I have a stack of books with uncracked bindings because of my stupid past resolutions. WASTE. OF. MONEY. I generally get better grades than everyone in my class, write superior papers, and have opions about everything without the books, so my less is $1000 later and I have to use my precious space designated for clothes to put text books. Not happening this year (nor did it last semester. They trick you that first semester by making you think you will need them.....lies....)

Also, I am going to bring more snacks to class to aid me in paying attention and by paying attention, I mean not falling asleep and using my time productively through snacking and doodling in my planner. Good goal. I can honestly check that one off the list already. So, I think I am done with my resolutions. Any that you think I should add?

Let's step up again....and again....and again....and again....

2010-08-26T13:32:00.001-07:00

Ok, I am totally open with all of my crazy and guilty pleasures so here I will open myself up to yet another shameful (yet awesome) experience that I have had: Yesterday I went and saw Step Up 3D. Uh, hello!!! Awesome (and horrible all at the same time)!!! I will begin with the horror that is 3D movies. I really don't think that they make a movie that cool. I saw the nightmare before Christmas and a Christmas Carol all in 3D and honestly, the only thing that happens is that I don't see it that well. I feel like it makes it harder to focus on things and makes it impossible to really pay attention to the throw down dancing!. And the glasses are a little sketchy.....do they sanitize those things? I probably wouldn't if I worked at the movie theater for movie theater wages. I blame James Cameron. Now I have already said how I feel about Avatar (haven't seen it- won't see it.) Since this movie, everything has to be in freaking 3D. It's not that cool. Also, those glasses really don't go with any of my outfits.....

The first movie took over the Maryland School of the Arts, the second took it to the streets, and honestly, I didn't know where this one would go......I obviously underestimated the potential of dancing........let's take it to THE WORLD!!!

Now let's dive into the plot (there rarely is one, and it's honestly better if it doesn't have a plot). Just a warning- spoiler alert. So, Luke (hot-great abs) owns a night club and he lives above it with a group of people he calls the Bfabb. Now I know that you are all just dying to know what that stands for.....wait for it.....wait for it......born from a boom box. Totally awesome, right? Oh, and their crew name is the Pirates. Soooo 2003. Moose from the 2nd movie is in it with his BFF Camille who actually played Channing Tatum's foster sister in the first movie. I'm pretty sure that she in NOT playing the same character which is weird because it's the same person, but obviously us Step Uppers are not smart enough to make the connection..... Luke meets this girl, Natalie, who dances in his night club that does not make enough money and therefore is about to be foreclosed on by the bank! What? Luke's parents' owned that and he can't let their legacy die like they did (no one could have predicted that and I certainly did not turn to my roommate Claire and say it).

Enter the Samuri and Kid Darkness (they are the most cutthroat dancing crew alive! You can't battle them just once! And yes, those are lines from the movie). They are the bad guys, which is obviously from their name and black patent leather outfits. Julian, who is the leader, used to be a pirate (not a literal one, but on the dance crew. If he was a literal pirate, I think that the plot could have been better), but got kicked off because he made a big bet and threw a dance competition to win his bet. Loser. Here's the plot twist.......Natalie is Julian's sister!!!! What? No way!

Ok, now let's get into the really bad scenes. Numero uno: Luke takes Natalie to his secret spot (not to kill her, shockingly, but to L-O-V-E her) and shows her his inner most thoughts? soul? No really sure....Well, some sort of air generator turns on and he takes his slurpee (every good love story has a slurpee) and let's it float up into outer space. SO. BAD. She does the same, then love is in full blossom and they mix their flavors of slurpee through making out. Not judging. I could use a little loving, but not slurpee loving. I prefer snow cones. Right before Luke finds out that Natalie and Julian are siblings, she asks him to run away with her. She says "we could go anywhere...even California!" So glad she clarified. I thought Cali might be out of the question. Everyone better know that they win. They always win. It's inspirational! It's monumental! As they win the battle against the evil Samurai, Natalie runs in and dances with Luke to win it all in beautiful midrift showing fashion (hello, 1997)! Then she leaves him a note saying that she has taken his movie about the Bfabb's and entered it into a film school and he gets in! Yay! Luke! You are a winner! And where is this school? You guessed it.... California! So, the little African dude that is a Bfabb tells Luke that he let everyone else live their dreams, that it was now time for him to live his dreams. Tear. So gay. The end.

The one major bright shining star of the movie is the man who does the robot. I have no idea what his name is, but I love him. He puts my robot to shame, which is pretty hard to do. I'm pretty incredible. I want to have his half robot, half human babies. Here is a little youtube clip for you all to enjoy..... I would do the whole uploading thing, but I don't know how to do that, so if anyone does, let me know how to do that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VTW1iUn3Bg

Jobs that I could easily do if I weren't going to be a therapist

2010-08-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think about the things that I would be really good at if I didn't already had my career path ahead of me.

First of all, I would be a personal shopper. I spend my time in class and out in the world looking at people and how they dress and fixing it in my mind (not to be rude, but some of the social workers out there could use a little shopping therapy...I'm just saying). Chacos are NOT shoes to be worn day to day!!! Save them for the hike! Stacey London and I would totally be besties. Sometimes I want to dress horribly for 2 weeks and have someone nominate me for what not to wear so I can get $5000 to spend on clothes, but I go and look in my closet, and its just not possible....so, sigh, I shall not get a new wardrobe for free, but I might spend the money for one....

Secondly, I would be the best American Idol ever. Not for the talent, but for my shining personality....and my amazing talent. Sometimes (all the time) I sing in my car by myself, but since I started watching the Idol, I always think about how I would perform the songs on the show. I. AM. GOOD. I don't want to be famous and go on tour and sell record albums, just want to be on the show and win and then never do anything with it again.....except go on one of those "celebrity" reality shows and fall in love with one of the New kids on the Block or one of the Brady Bunch.

Thirdly, I could be a judge on American Idol. I am just as good as Simon. We always agree except on the weirdies with the dreds and the screaming voices. I also do a wicked mean impression of Kara and Paula. I'm sure that I could act just like them and do it for a whole lot less dinero.

And lastly, the job that I am most capable of and will be the best at, is.....drum roll please.......a trophy wife. I am blonde, have big boobs, and am very capable of shopping and spending money all day long (I might have accidently did some online shopping today that resulted in 3 dresses and a season of TV on DVD...oops). In addition, I am an excellent cook, like to clean, and would be very good at hiring a cook and a maid. I am pretty. I am capable of birthing lots of children. I am comfortable saying "I will let the staff take care of that." I look good as arm candy. I like diamonds (or at least I think I will). I have great taste in men's fashion and will be able to dress my man for some serious business (business socks included)...

And so, I bid farewell to my dreams of my alternate careers and look into my future as a second year grad student. This year I am interning with LDS family services working with their eating disorder clients.....it's like the same thing as being an American Idol, right?

Costa Rica, baby!!!

2010-06-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

I loved Costa Rica. It was beautiful, but dirty and full of things that I don't particuarly like- like My pictures are all sorts out of order, but you will get the picture...

Brendy had a hard time with all the driving. She kept getting motion sick so she took lots of dramamene.....luckily for everyone else, she was completely stoned when on it. She has NO recollection of this picture. For those of you who don't know her, she is not a touchy person. We were waiting for the ferry to take us over to Montezuma in Puntarenas (the nastiest, worst place in all of Costa Rica) and she saw some sort of nautical thing that looked like a guillotine, so she grabbed my hand and made me look at it. So funny.
This is a mono (monkey) of the spider persuasion. We were in Monteverde going through the canopy tour which involved a bunch of suspended bridges in the rainforest. Amazing. You can see the baby mono peeking its head out to say "hello!"

It was torture being here. Poor me.
This is the pool from the bungalo that we stayed at in Montezuma. We would spend the day at the beach and then come back to the hotel and swim for a long long time....and use it to rinse off the sand...

This is a kawate. Its like a racoon. We were on the beach in Manuel Antonio National Forrest and Claire was tempting this guy with a cliff bar to get him closer. He ran up and grabbed it pretty much out of her hand. We had to watch our stuff really closely so things wouldn't get stolen- not from people, but from the animals.

This is a hike to a waterfall in Monteverde. Monteverde is not close to the beach, but in what they call the cloud forrest. As all of you know, I HATE hiking, but it was ok here. It was so beautiful and the end was the best payoff of any hike. I won't be doing it again anytime soon, but the waterfall was probably my favorite.

This is in the rainforrest during the canopy tour. I think I was being a raptor.....I think I thought it looked like Jurassic Park. I am that special.

This is the second waterfall that we went to in Montezuma. It is normally crystal clear, but it had been raining, so it was muddy. We got to jump off of this one. It was really fun!

Kathy went a little crazy...she kept saying "Ay, un mono en mis cosas!" which means "there's a monkey in my things!" This is on the airplane on the way home and her monkey just kept peeping up to say hello! Es muy loca!

On the way home, our flight left really early so we didn't want to get a hotel, so we spent the night on the floor of the airport. Miserable and cold. And then I got a NASTY ear infection. Love it.

This is a fruit stand that we stopped at on the way back to San Jose when we were headed home. The men working there were so so so sweet. They practically gave me a whole mango the size of my head to eat. They just kept cutting them up and giving them to us. So nice and delicious!

This is on the boat ride to Isla Tortuga. My hair is awesome. It looked like this the whole time. I am prettier in the desert- no tropics for me....

This little girl just kept playing with me on the ferry over to Montezuma. Her name was Maria and she didn't speak a word of English. We obviously switched sunglasses.

Women at work!!!! Getting ready to head out on the zipline in Monteverde!

These are known as glass ferns because when anything is behind it, the color changes due to its transparency. These are all over the rainforrest.

More of the canopy tour in Monteverde.

Here is the actual waterfall in Monteverde that we hiked to. It was so peaceful. It started pouring rain on the way home.

Cloud Forrest

We needed gas in Monteverde. This is the only gas station. It's a family with 5 liter jugs and a coke bottle funnel. Awesome.

Monkey and kawate on the beach at Manuel Antonio.

This is on the way to the beach in Manuel Antonio. We saw lots and lots of 3 toed sloths. Crazy!

Tortuga Island. Beautiful!!!

These are obviously just a few random pictures from my trip. I absolutely loved it. Seeing all of God's creatures and his beautiful landscape just made me want to travel more. I am working on going to Hawaii in October and London in the spring.

Asians

2010-06-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

Anyone else noticing the Asians that are posting on my blog? It's kind of weirding me out because they either say really weird things like "seeing is believing" or I can't read it at all cuz its in Asian. Do you think I should privatize my blog? What say ye?

Obsessed

2010-06-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

I have previously mentioned my love for Glee, but I cannot express the intense obsession that I feel for this little show (not so little anymore...) I have been really busy this week (and every week of my life) and I have not had the opportunity, nay privilege, to watch the season finale. Honestly, I teared up a few times, but nothing too intense. I feel so much when it comes to music and I think they do a phenominal job with the songs and bringing emotion into it. I. LOVE. GLEE.

If I could do a do-over of my life, I always thought that I would love to have Stacy London's job and take the poor souls of the earth who are under dressed and makeup-less and give them a few lessons on how to be fabulous, but I think deep in my soul, I am a diva....Oh, did we just have a blogosphere confessional? Yep. Where are the real world camera's recording my sobs in a tiny room while someone outside the room is repeating swears loudly because I am over my time limit? Dunno. My sister Megan even told me that my career path should be to audition for American Idol. Not because of any talent that I might posses, but for the sheer natural born attitude for being a diva. Love her.

I don't think that I ever want to get married because then a lot of my car time will have an occupant beside me and when I get into the radio and man do I. GET. INTO. IT. I did choirs and whatnot since I was in fourth grade- I was born to be Rachel Barry, but unfortunately my parents are conservative Mormons instead of Gay men. Just not the same fostering for a narcissistic future star. Boo.

Here are my favorites: First of all, when I first saw Leah Michele, I almost thought it was Idina Menzel (love her, lover her husband more). Not her, but equally talented. Then the most amazing Kristin Chenoweth made her appearance as a sloppy drunk (I love a good drunk on TV and the movies-hits a soft spot in my heart). When she sings, my heart sings (who threw up with that one? I did). Then, finally(!) Idina shows up and SHE DIDN'T SING. Heartbroken. But finally, finally, finally she sings 'I Dreamed a Dream" with Leah Michele and I DIED (I hope you can feel the drama seeping out of this post-I mean it)! It was ridiculous. I did cry (shhh! don't tell) and then watched it over and over again (bless the DVR). I want to sing like that (and in my car I do). I also love Quinn. I love her style and her makeup- minus the pregnancy. I even took a picture of her to my makeup artist (yes I do have a makeup artist, but we were friends first, even if it was the makeup that brought us together) to get her look. Beautiful. I love Sue Sylvester. Her lines are hilarious and I secretly wish to live my life in track suits, but I am morally against sneakers being worn anywhere besides the gym, so sigh, no can do. I would also like to point out that Will is the cop from 'Dan in Real Life.' "Put it on my tab!" Last, but not least, Kurt. Dear, dear, Kurt. How can the world live without your fabulousness? When you say that your dad bought you your car if you promised to stop wearing knee-length tight form fitting sweaters, I giggled. I lol-ed. And no one judges you for having a Tiara collection. We all wished we had one.

So, bless Glee for bringing back my love of singing and being overly dramatic. I missed my Queen title.

What is wrong with Seacrest?

2010-04-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

So, I am slightly addicted to American Idol. You all might know that from my slight Glambert obession and Kris love. Anyway, I digress. Anyone watch Ryan Seacrest on Tuesday's show? He was so so so weird.

First of all, he says the weirdest things. Always awkward. He makes lots of gay innuendos (which leaves one thinking that Ryan might be swinging the other direction) to Simon. And Simon looks at him like he's a retard....and that might be because he IS a retard. He made a "joke" (I put it in quotes because I am saying that he is incapable of making a funny joke) by saying that Brian Dunkleman, who was one of the original hosts of American Idol, would be hosting the 'Idol gives back' episode. No one laughed. But that is probably because a) it didn't sound like a joke b) how is that funny? Then he had say "just kidding."

My favorite part was during Big Mike's song, you could see him in the far off distance dancing with another dude. Gay. Obviously. He is trying to be funny, but no one really could see it. I just guessed that it was him. So, to make his point and get the attention that an attention whore like him needs, he thanked his new boyfriend for the dance.

Have you seen him next to Casey James? He looks like one of the little chocolatiers. I really think that him and Tyra Banks should get married because she is an amazon woman and he's a midget and they are equally annoying so it's perfect. Then we can exile them to Patmos. Oh, and can I PLEASE PLEASE have Casey James's babies? Just a thought....

Oh, and can we just talk for a second about Simon Cowell's dress code for a second? What is with all the v-neck white t-shirts? I buy mine at walmart 5 for $10. He's rich. He can afford something a little bit nicer....oh, and maybe a bro. His moobs are poking out and it looks like his nipples are staring at me....

A new low...

2010-04-05T22:47:00.000-07:00

So, I am not really into reality TV because I feel that ALL of these people show the absolute lowest form of society. I see Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (I've never actually seen the show) I want to throw up. Have you seen what she has done to her face? But I digress. I do however love "The Soup" on E! I heart Joel McHale. He makes fun of all the people on reality TV and Tyra Banks. It's awesome.

Again, I digress. Here is the lowest form of humanity that I have seen....I was sitting here doing my homework (which I am now avoiding)and I saw a commercial for one of those "text this right now and get this ring tone" and guess what it was...text the word FART to such and such a number and get a farting noise sent to your phone. In addition to the nasty noise coming from the TV, there was a pink elephant lifting his leg farting....oh, and the area underneath the tail (known as the buttocks) was lime green. I'm uncomfortable. People please never text that. If you do, you might as well be Spencer Pratt. Disgusting.

And the Academy Award goes to....

2010-03-09T19:51:00.000-08:00

Me. Because I watched it while facebooking. I love multitasking. It makes me feel productive. Here is my run down of the Academy awards.

I am so sad for my lover Matt Damon. He should have won. His performance in Invictus was AMAZING for the following non-superficial reasons: 1- He did a flawless South African accent. I actually don't know if it was flawless, but I do know that it was hot. All I could think when he spoke was, "how can I bear his children?" That's not superficial at all. That is deep eternal love. 2-He was extra blonde and pulled it off. I like to be extra blonde (superficially of course) and I pull it off. We are made for each other. 3- I have an aversion to man thigh. It always kind of creeps me out when boys wear short shorts, but in Invictus, I was IN. TO. THAT.

Let's talk fashion. There are a few things that people should just stay away from. For instance, many people find it cruel to kill animals to wear their fur. I find it even more cruel to skin a muppet to make a dress like Zoe Saldana did. NOT NICE.

Next is Katherine Bigelow, James Cameron's former gigolo, aka his ex-wife. First off, let's hear it for the sister! I didn't know about her or their former marriage or what happened to end it, but as a woman, I just feel a solidarity for her and the fact that she gets to stick it to her ex. She beat him and that is all that matters. On another note, she kind of acted a little aspbergery when she accepted for the best picture. Just a thought.

Why did Jeff Bridges have to win for best actor. I have never even heard of his movie and he seems old and creepy, which does well for the academy. I was watching the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and he says that beards get Oscars and Mr. Bridges had a long goatee and some slicked back hair. I think that's what won it for him. I would have voted for George simply for the fact that he is sexy.

I was rooting for Sandra!!!! I haven't actually seen The Blindside, but I think that I need to now. I like that Sandra said that girls like her, who make movies like she does, don't win Academy Awards. I think that she is beautiful, funny and overall REAL and I can RELATE to her and she kissed Ryan Reynolds so who cares about anything else?

I was glad that Mo'Nique won for best supporting actress. I haven't seen Precious either, but just from the commercials, she scared the living daylights out of me. She doesn't shave her legs (which I learned on the Barbara Walters special before) but she wears skirts. She says that her husband loves it, but I think he doesn't. I think that he loves how rich she is and will say he loves it. They showed her leg hair on national TV. Ew. She says she doesn't believe in shaving. How is that I belief? I no longer believe in showering or stopping at stop signs. I think its just common decency!

Last but not least- I am glad that Avatar did not win best picture for the following reasons: 1-Blue people freak me out 2- They did not let that sexy sexy man, Sam Worthington, speak using his accent. Crime against humanity!!! 3- There are jelly fish floating around and I did not see Spongebob once. You can't go jelly fish catching without Spongebob and Patrick! It's like tap dancing without shoes! 3- I never saw the movie because it looked stupid 4- Now I don't HAVE to see it because it is stupid. It lost. Now, I invite you all to ignore everything that I wrote and just comment on how I need to see it because it's amazing. Go. Leave your comments here.

I watch TV, so what?

2010-03-03T15:09:00.000-08:00

I tend to like to do reviews of the things that I watch....and they are usually bad reviews, but I have decided to review some of the things that I enjoy!

First, I watched the new show on NBC called Parenthood. I started watching for one reason and that is Lauren Graham. She is Lorelai Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls, essentially the greatest show ever. I LOVE HER in a totally straight non-lesbian way. I have some healthy self-esteem (if you didn't know already) and have never wanted to be anyone else other than me (except whoever Brad Pitt was dating) but I want to be Lorelai. She is funny and so quick witted and I love her STYLE, but I digress.

The show was a bit more dramatic than I first expected. I thought coming from Ron Howard (who did the most amazing Arrested Development) and thought it would be more like that. There were 2 things that are similiar to the AD 1- Bland (aka Ann) plays Lauren's daughter and 2- there is the one brother who is holding together all his siblings. I am not 100% sold yet, but we will see.

Next, I am LOVING absolutely LOVING the show Modern Family. I came in mid season and did just fine, so I think that you all can jump in. It is HILARIOUS! Here is the premise: There is a father (AL Bundy from Married with Children) who is married to a young hot Columbian lady named Gloria. She has a 10 year old son Manny who is essentially 10 going on 40. And hilarity ensues. Then Jay (Al Bundy) has 2 kids. Claire, who is married to Phil (oh, how I love Phil) and has 3 kids and Mitchell who is gay and married to a big old flaming gay man named Cameron. Nothing is better than Cameron. They have adopted a little girl named Lily from Vietnam. Jay calls her a fortune cookie (good old racist jokes. The PC people in my diversity class would be appauled and I applaud-bad Sydney!). When Mitchell and Cam announce Lily's adoption to the family, Cam dresses up in traditional African garb, turns on "The Circle of Life" and presents baby Simba at pride rock (aka their living room). I peed a little. Hilarity ensues.

Then there is Phil. He is almost half-retarded half genius. I LOVE HIM. When he gets a kidney stone, he is soooo dramatic! His kids come in and he says "Don't worry, Daddy will be ok." His son says "We know." Phil-"We don't know that." Then he folds over in pain and exclaims "oooh, its cancer!" Claire calls an ambulance and gets all dressed up for the fire fighters and Phil guilts her and Hilarity ensues. I love it. You should love it too. Here's a fireman clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii_Jto9MsSs

The stomach flu

2010-02-24T21:24:00.000-08:00

I hate the stomach flu.
I hate wanting to die every minute of it. I would rather stab myself in the leg than ever do this again.
I hate that all I ate was like 10 saltine crackers and half a bottle of gatorade.
WORST. MEAL. EVER.
I hate throwing up. I will never be bulimic. I would rather be morbidly obese than ever have to do that again.
I hate that I missed two days of school and still had to crank out TONS of homework even though I almost died.
I hate that I have the crappiest insurance ever and couldn't really go to the doctor.
I love my roommates for taking care of me and pretty much making it so that I didn't move the entire day.
I love the little carrier monkey, baby Cal that gave it to me and I will forever love him despite the disease.
I love that I have a TV and DVR player in my room so I could watch my boyfriend Chuck all day while not moving. I gave up moving cold turkey. Smokers have got nothing on me. It really just takes will power to quit....and a debilitating sickness.
I hate that I had to boil all of my bedding to rid my room of all the disease. I feel like I had the plague and soon someone from Monty Python will come down my street screeming "bring out your dead!" and I will be the one that is not quite dead yet....yay for me. Then my roommates will bring out all of my stuff for it to be burned or given to the Native Americans like the smallpox blankets.

Dear Nicholas Sparks.

2010-02-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

Please, please, stop writing books. I can't handle it anymore. Every single time I experience one of your books (generally in movie/trailor form), I end up with vomit all over myself. Also, Mr. Sparks, I would really really really like you to stop having your books made into movies. I know that you make lots and lots of money off of them, but it deeply hurts me and anyone with any sort of taste in film.

A Walk to Remember- or as I like to call it, "Please Kill Me so I Don't Remember." I will sum up the movie for you.

Mandy Moore- "I'm sick."
Shane West- "It's ok. You're hair and clothes are really bad in this movie. No one will miss you, but let's get married so I seem like a really good guy and can get scholarships for really young widowers."
Mandy Moore- "My dad's a minister so I have to dress like this."
Shane West- "Stop talking. You are not pretty enough for me to endure this."
She dies. And scene.

the Notebook- Still not sure why its called the notebook. It should be called "Fornication" or another movie that leads to another on again off again romance between its characters in real life.

Ryan Gosling- "I'm poor."
Rachel McAdams- "That's ok. I'm rich and spoiled so I can get what I want and still be a brat to you."
James Marsden- "I'm pretty. Did you see my blue eyes?"
Rachel McAdams- "I did see them, but this guy is into doing it on the floor, so I am going with him."
James Marsden- "Cool, I'll go become a mutant and fight Hugh Jackman for Famka Janssen."
Ryan Gosling- "I need breakfast."
Old People- "Let's follow hailey's comment and kill ourselves simultaneously and be able to join the mother ship."

Nights in Rodanthe- Didn't see it, but old people making out. Ew.

Dear John- Should be called "Come to my House Channing and Take Advantage of me."

I have not seen this one, nor will I unless Channing is shirtless for the entire movie and I can mute it. But then again I would rather watch him dance in Step Up (again, no need for volume).

Also, Mr. Sparks, could you pretty pretty please with sugar on top tell the dude or dudette who wrote Time Traveler's Wife to stop writing books too? Its just for the betterment of the world.

I'd like to introduce you to a few of my friends....

2010-01-21T19:15:00.000-08:00

I have a problem...I have lots and lots and lots of shoes. I like to think of them as my friends and more as a part of me than just a simple accessory. Here we have the shoes on the wall of my closet. As you can see, I have had to start double/ tripling up on the slots. I have recently purchased four pairs of shoes in the past week...I was in Vegas! I must shop! It doesn't count, I swear!

Now these little beauties are what's down below. Also, those boxes all have shoes in them. They are stacked really high up under the clothes. I might have a problem.

Now, let's get to the clothes. On top there, I have my sweatshirts and purses. Inside all of those purses are more purses and I think that they are currently giving birth to more purses as we speak....sad story though, I was unable to find a purse that I wanted in Vegas. Well, I actually bought a hand bag/clutch type purse, but its not the same. And yes, my clothes are color coordinated.

Oh, did you think that was it? False. That was just one half of my closet. We end with coats here. I know, I'm ridiculous. People tell me to get rid of stuff, but quite honestly I wear all of this and I do get rid of it frequently. And yes, that is a care bears suit case in the top of my closet. Jealous?

May they rest in peace

2010-01-06T07:00:00.001-08:00

I have this most amazing and perfect pair of black flats. Paige was given them years ago and they were a bit tight on her feet and so she gave them to me. They were a bit tight on me too, but hey, I was just home from a mission and poor. Well, Lindsey wore them one day and stretched them out to the perfect size. Since then I have loved them. Its almost impossible to find a pair of cute black flats. I wore them the other day and I must say, that it is time for them to go. May they rest in peace....pray for me to find new ones! Oooh! That gives me an excuse to go shopping!

I'm white, or at least that is what they tell me.

2009-12-19T05:26:00.001-08:00

I went to get some base makeup from Mac yesterday and the shade that I normally use has all of a sudden gotten darker, so I talk to the lady and she tells me that there is only one shade that is paler than what I used. I think that she used the word "pale" instead of white to be politically correct because she was black and you just can't go around asking people why they're white. Isn't it amazing that somehow a really white girl can somehow become translucent? I feel good about myself...

Famous People I have dreamt about....

2009-12-02T11:22:00.000-08:00

I have some crazy crazy dreams, as many of you know, so I thought that I would just give you a little run down of what my crazy actually thinks of. Also, to follow my overwhelming sense of entitlement (that my friend Rich loves to point out ALL the time. Please, he's more entitled than I am) and how awesome I think I am (or perhaps how sad my dating life really is) they always hit on me and I never dream about women.....luckily....
I dreamt once that I met Leonardo Dicaprio at a funeral at my old church in Sandy. Apparently Leo knows some Mormons. He was hitting on me in the middle of the funeral. In my defense, it was just after Titanic came out so maybe that's why there was death and Leo was associated with it. Also, that means that I was in Seventh grade, so I feel that I am totally justified in dreaming about him. I still think that Leo is totally sexy. So sue me. He's put on a little weight since his Titanic days and I love my men to have some meat on their bones. Hot.

Next would be dear Luke Wilson. He is most definitely the more attractive of the Wilson brothers so I thank him for making the appearance and not his brother. Here's the dream. My family and I were at a Cabin celebrating Christmas and who else would be there? Of course, Luke Wilson. It's totally normal, right? Anyway, there was a giant love sac and I made out with him on it. Great dream! He's totally smoking!

Next dream is for the dreamy Clive Owen. Those beautiful eyes and sexy voice. Love him! In this dream, he was a prince. I don't know if you all know this, but British=Royalty, duh! So, I met him and was smitten because he is tastey (spelled with an ey because that is how Fergie taught me how to spell it) and a prince-every girls dream. I don't remember his feelings for me, but I'm Pretty sure that he loves me.

Now this one is the most disturbing. I dreamt that my family was in that house in the beginning of the 4th movie/book where scabbers the rat is actually a man and he's with Voldemort. So, think that house...Anyway we were trapped and the only way that he would let us out is if I made out with him. Apparently Lord Voldemort is a 15 year old boy. So, I did. He looked just like this. Sick....I later had another Harry Potter dream where I was in the tri-wizard tournament. I am soooo not normal.

So, I dream about dreamy men (mostly minus LV), and who is the ONLY celebrity that I see in person? Sean Astin, aka the fat hobbit Sam Wise, or Rudy. He was about 5 feet from us at Disneyland California Adventures in line for the big white roller coaster. Those are my celebrity encounters! Enjoy!

I had a really really horrible Sunday...

2009-11-22T21:01:00.000-08:00

I really did. But I don't want to talk about that.....but do you know what makes a really bad better? The atrocity that is the American Music Awards. I have officially become old. I don't know how that happened but I was SHOCKED by some of the nasty that was on there.

Let's start with Eminem. Hi, we know your hair is blonde. Way to go brunette so you can look more black. No one is fooled.
Dear Lady (or Man) Gaga. You are nasty and I have never actually seen your face. The nude light up outfit looked like naked Christmas. Way to ruin my favorite holiday. And, I couldn't tell if you had anything covering your bum (bum is a funny word). Was that a nude thong? All I know is that I'm comfortable.

Alicia Keys- you have gotten me through a many heartache. You do a great sad/angry girl music and I have enjoyed your songs and hope that I won't be needed your break-up music anytime soon, but wow-1987 called and said that even they wouldn't take those spandex pants. Also, watch your back because Mr. T is gonna come and get his gold chaines (pronounced chain-zez) back. Bad, bad, bad. But the WORST was what I am thinking was intended to be a belt, but ended up looking more like a necklace for your lady parts. And were you wearing back jewels?

Why did Michael Jackson win lots of awards? Did I miss him doing something besided dying this year? Yes, I am super insensative. Whatevs.

Now, on to the finale. Glambert aka Adam Lambert. He was in all his guy-liner, male polish glory. And his suit has stalagtites on his jacket. He danced with a girl. That is probably the closest he has been to a woman since his mama. But then he quickly had a couple of men in dog chains (no Mr. T reference here- Glambert's not masculine enough) and whips. Wow. Then he did something SUPER nasty that I am WAY to prudish to talk about. Then he ate a shemale's face. I think it was supposed to be a nasty kiss, but I have NEVER un hinged my jaw to kiss someone, no matter how passionate we were kissing.

So, I think that my spirits were lifted for a moment just because of how horribly bad it was. And I now also remember why I don't watch that crap. Oh, and Taylor Swift won entertainer of the year. I have a love/co-dependence for her that is unexplainable.

So, thank you AMA for changing my mood momentarily, but I will NEVER be seeing you again.

Oh, and Jolo (that's what Vaughn calls her. She is also known as J. Lo) fell down. Hilarious.

Could I BE any more boring?

2009-11-16T12:34:00.000-08:00

It's really sad that I have nothing to put on my blog. Generally I write about TV and movies that I have seen (because I am that awesome) and those have all been extremely disappointing as of late. Movies, bleh. TV, bleh. My life, bleh. Actually, I feel that TV has one bright spot named Glee. I seriously seriously love this show. I miss it all the time because I have institute on Wednesday night, so I go to Jan and Vaughn's house to watch their DVR. Actually, on Friday, my roomies and I got our own DVR and its my new best friend. If I could open up our TV cabinet and hug it all the time, I would, but then people would think that I'm weird, which would be accurate, but I don't need to perpetuate the idea. So, back to Glee. I love the music. Puck has this sexy mohawk thing going on and when he sang "Sweet Caroline" I wanted to die or have his bad boy babies. I usually don't go for the bad boys in real life, but on TV, yes please. I'm gonna download that right now....instead of writing my paper, which is also why I am blogging right now....

My room still smells like Top Raman. Not sure what to do about it. My window is always open, but it is starting to get seriously cold outside and my house probably has the worst insulation of all time. Thanks old houses.

I ate only carbs yesterday. And cheese. Who does that? It was my brother's homecoming and Jan had brunch afterwards and it involved muffins and donuts and juices and ham. Ham is nasty. And its how you get tape worms in your brain. Ask Dr. House, he will tell you (episode 1, season 1). So, I did not eat the ham. I ate an entire dunford donut (420 calories, thank you center for change for teaching me how to count calories. I hate it) and then another half of one of those and then probably another 2 throughout the day (men love it when you call them and tell them everything that you ate for that day, so I thought I would just blog about it) and then a sandwich with potato chips. Then some more donuts and then banana bread and then when I got home, that Foxy lady that I live with made some cinnamon rolls. I thought that I would obstain, but that would just be silly. So, I topped off my night in carb city! Ya! Love it! I kind of wanted to die, but amazingly, I woke up hungry again. The body is an awesome thing!

I'm avoiding a paper. I hate school. I actually don't hate the classes at all- I find them enjoyable (minus my cursed policy class!) but I don't like writing papers. Even though I'm awesome at it. But what am I not awesome at? Besides all sports and anything that requires coordination (like walking), but other than that, I'm awesome.

My brother got home from his mission-which is awesome. He is so funny. He has always had a nack for irritating my sister Lauren, but now he is doing it in Spanish. She has NO IDEA what she is saying, and I just sit and laugh and laugh and laugh. Not that I speak Spanish, but I did learn to understand it on my mission. Good times. Bugging Lauren is a talent that she not be hid under a bushel.

Last Friday night at 10pm I fell asleep next to the fire in my house. I took an hour nap and then got up and went to bed. Were you wondering if I somehow jumped from being 26 to 62? I think that I did. At 9pm last night, I was soooo ready for bed. Maybe the Top Raman smell in my room is actually old people smell that I have acquired and I'm just not used to it yet.

On Saturday, Claire (my roomie) and I watched ABC Family original movies and refused to leave our house. A day well spent. Did you know that they have made 2 more Prince and Me movies? And they are awful? They couldn't even get the original people to be in them- not one by the third movie. Bad. Bad. Bad. And I kind of liked them....they now have the countdown to the countdown to the 25 days of Christmas. Wow. Little premature. And they are advertising for their next ABC Family original movie called "The Dog that Saved Christmas." I can't wait. Everyone should know that there is nothing more that I love than horrible movies staring animals. Can't wait.

What to write, what to write....

2009-10-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

I am not sure that I have a whole lot to say other than, thank the heavens above that I am smarter than most people. I was really worried about going to Grad school and what the demands would be, but I have found this to be the same as undergrad. This is how it goes. Teacher- Read 4 chapters by next week. Me- No. Everyone else- freak out about it, spend all your time analyzing it, freaking out, writing, re-writing papers, freak out again get a good grade. Me- don't read, write assignment right before its due, get a better grade than everyone else. Isn't it good to be me? I think so. And I'm pretty, so it all works out. I feel bad for the dumb...not saying that the people in my program are dumb, I just think that they put in unnecessary work for the same outcome. Or they are not as smart. Whatever. All I have to say is that its good to be me....

Could there be anything worse in the entire world?

2009-09-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

I, unfortuately had the incredible displeasure of seeing the movie "The Time Traveler's Wife." So, here's the story......As you all know, my life is totally lame and I don't really have any friends outside of my roomies up here in Salt Lake, so I was chilling with the family after my cousin Lindsey's baby shower at my mom's. We were bored- namely my mother (referred to as Jan, Jammit, Jammy from here on out) and my sister Megan. We looked at the movies playing at Thanksgiving point and quite honestly, there was nothing playing that looked good that we hadn't already seen (my life is lame, get off my back!), so we decided that we would see "The Time Traveler's Wife" (this will now be referred to as "My Own Personal Hell" from here on out).

Here is my thought process- Its Rachel McAdams. Loved her in Mean Girls and Wedding Crashers. I hated the Notebook, but I must be honest, I suppose that it was tolerable...kind of. The best part of that movie is when the old people die at the end, so I thought it might be like that. Horrible story line (thanks Nicholas Sparks), but some good making out (that's what the kids are calling "it" these days- this is edited just for my mommy) and I could use a little loving in my life so I thought it might be like that. I WAS SO INCREDIBLY WRONG I COULD DIE.

The movie starts out with his mom dying and a really ugly kid playing a young Eric Bana (not a good actor). Then he time travels, but guess what doesn't- his clothes. So, essentially you spend the whole movie looking at Eric Bana's arse. Its not even a nice butt. They should have cast Brad Pitt in this movie. The movie Troy should have been rated G so that everyone could see the brillance of Brad's booty. Anywho, nothing good AT ALL about his bottom. Just makes me uncomfortable and remember why its entitled My Own Personal Hell.

So, the basic story is that he time travels (shocker) back to important moments in his life, but he can't control it, he just goes and his clothes don't. Really? Can't his clothes just go with him? It DOES NOT add to the movie in the least.....but I digress. So, he goes and visits his future wife when starting when she is six. Dirty pervert. She falls for him early on and gets all huffy (at the ripe age of 9) when he tells her that he's married. Pedofile. Anyway, he meets her for the first time when she is in college and he doesn't know her (because he hasn't traveled to see her yet in his life, but he has in hers-yep confusing). They get married and she gets all peeved because he disappears for weeks on end.

This is the best part- because its the most horrible. Something happens and its pretty dramatic, but I can't remember quite what it was because I hear that the brain tries to suppress traumatic experiences- and she just looks at him and says "but we're having a baby." Then she miscarries, gets preggers, miscarries, preggers, miscarries, cries....ahhhhh booo hoooo, ahhhh the horror! So, homeboy decides that the baby is "time traveling out of the womb!" Yep. He said that. Jammit at this point is giggling so hard. She thought this supposedly moving movie was so funny because it was so bad.

He then goes to a doctor that his wife tells him about that he told her about when she was younger. He goes and tells the doctor "I have chromo discombobulation (might be a misquote there)." Dr- "I have never heard of this before and I'm a geneticist!" Homie-"It's a term that you came up with." Yep. That happened. Next scene, they are walking down the street and there is a little girl watching them and you know its their daughter.

Because of the miscarriages, he decides to get a vasectomy without her knowing. That's always smart. Wives don't care about that at all. Good choice. He tells her, she's pissed. Then she gets a call in the middle of the night and its him, but a past him that has time traveled. What does she do? Him. That is the answer. She picks him up in the car and they do the naughty. There is the daughter. Creepy, weird? Yes.

Now he travels to the future and he meets his daughter who is ten and she tells him that he dies when she is 5. Well that was a spoiler to the movie! Let's jump back here for a second- earlier in the movie you see him show up in their house and he's been shot. Both homeslice and wife just look at future homeslice (naked of course) on the floor and he disappears, so they know how he will die. Then he travels to the future and sees himself dying on the fourth of July (rude- what other day can you eat a brat, hamburger, and a steak? It's what the founding fathers would want). He knows exactly when. Its the day. Its time. They are making out on the stoop (he's in a wheelchair because he got hypothermia on another trip...) and he tells her that its going to happen and she asks why he invited all these people over and he said "so you won't be alone. And so everyone can see my ding-a-ling." Maybe not the last part, but the rest is true. Now its time. He travels to the time when he was first married and hunting with his father-in-law. Her papa is aiming for a deer (he's next to the deer butt to the wind in the snow) and gets shot, but past homie and daddy don't even see that they shot a man, but think that the blood is from the deer. Not very observant! Yep, best part of the movie. My mom was grandpa wheezing it by this point. It was soooooooo funny. He is always getting into trouble when he travels because he breaks into places to get clothes and is constantly getting arrested for it, but he gets shot by his father-in-law! Awesome!

It ends with him showing up where his wife and daughter are in the future after he is dead. Freaky little girl runs to get her mom and Rachel McAdams runs through the field and says to him "If I would have known that you were coming, I would have waited!" Homeboy "I don't want you to wait." Tears! Weeping! Wailing! Gnashing of teeth! Oh wait, that was me...... SO BAD! I wanted to die. We talked about leaving and getting our money back, but its like when you see a really really awkward first date going on behind you at a restaurant and you can't not look. It was a train wreck. I want those 2 hours of my life back....and Jammy's money. The worst part is the Brad Pitt was the executive producer! But Brad, you have such a nice booty! Why did you have to show me an un-nice booty. Why couldn't you have been Eric Bana's booty/body double? It would have made the whole thing much more enjoyable.

Well, that is my VERY long review of this horrible horrible terrible awful painful movie. I will never never never never never ever see that again.

I just realized that all of my pictures were of celebrities...so here are my Italy pictures. Yes, be very jealous...

2009-09-02T15:08:00.001-07:00

Oh hey, America. I'm in Italy, but I hate their food (bland bland bland) give me a cheeseburger. Oh, what's that? Is that the Pantheon in the background of my fine dining at McDonalds? Why yes it is!
This is where the temple in Rome is being built. We had this driver take us out there and he must have thought us nuts to be looking at an empty lot....Ikea is in the background on the left and beautiful fields to the right. Under Roman law, before you can build anything you have to do some excavation to see if there are ruins anywhere that you might build. So, the saints in Italy were fasting before they started the process and they didn't find anything where the temple will be built, but they found some a mere 100 feet away. So, a temple in Rome! Yay!

First marriage in the Roman temple. Me and this fine man. He is a police officer helping out this sweet old lady. I want to have his babies. I creepily took a picture of him as we were getting off the train. Italian men come in 2 forms- greasy or delicious. He is the latter.

This is Florence. Vaughn just chilling a million miles from everyone else. We wanted to do a facebook album called "What Vaughn did in Italy" because he just wanders around and does his own thing.

The David by Michaelangelo is in the Museum of Florence. You can't take pictures in there, but they have put a replica of it outside in the piazza where it originally was. Megan and I were a little bored so we decided to give David a good game. He liked it.

This is the Pontevecchio in Florence. It is known for their jewelers along the bridge and leather. This is where I spent way too much on a purse that I love. Vaughn also spent 9 Euro on an gelato. That is something like 15 bucks.
This is a bronz statue of Persius after he killed Medusa. Its amazing and its just out in the open in the piazza in Florence.

The baptistry in Florence that is known for its doors by Ghiotto. Michaelangelo called them "The Gates of Paradise" because of their beauty. Each panel depicts a scene from the old testament.

This is the Duomo. The baptistry belongs to this. Its made of inlaid green and pink marble. It was done by Bruneschelli. It is one of the only Gothic cathedrals in Italy. The inside is very plain.

Our favorite Gelato shop. Here is how you can tell if its good gelato-look at the banana flavored one. If its yellow, then they use artificial flavoring- if its a gray color, then they use real fruit and whatnot. Soooooooo good.

So, we went to Borghese park to the museum and to rent a bike (which was totally awesome)- Anywho, we took a rest after walking around for a while and I look over at Vaughn and this is what he has built. Yep, a camp fire in case we are stranded in the park. Such a weirdo.
The bikes at this place are AWESOME! They are like Flintstone cars. Here's Meg and I Roman around. Tee-hee.

This is our bike. If Vaughn wasn't peddling, we weren't moving.

Pompeii. They estimate that they only have about a quarter of it excavated.

Vaughn loves to look at the colums and the tiles and see how they put them together and figure out how he would do it. Here he is just wandering in Pompeii.

This is from Pompeii. Super sad to see. They say that ancient Romans were only about 4 and a half to 5 feet tall. Interestingly enough, the Gladiators, who were slaves, were around 6 to 7 feet tall. What? Beat them Romans down!
This is a chariot groove in the cobblestone. So, not only has it been covered for thousands of years, it was a thriving metropolis before for a very long time.

Pompeii was on the coast before (now its about 3 miles inland) so it was a port town with lots and lots of visitors. Ask me about their whore houses and how that all worked out. Very very interesting and pornographic.

This is the cute little town of Sorrento. They are know for their lemons. I loved it here. Lots of little shops (me? shop? Never!) and cobblestone streets.

Coast line on the way to Sorrento and Pompeii

This is outside of a museum. I forgot what its called but it was once the house of the Pope's nephew and it is ridiculous. Lauren might actually be having fun with us here. And I quote "you guys are not funny at all."
This is the Ecstasy of St. Theresa by Bernini, as previously stated, he is my favorite sculptor. This shot does not do it justice, but I couldn't get high enough to get a good view. It was here that I saw a guy about my age in such anguish and he was going around praying to the icons at all of the altars putting money into the boxes and it made me so sad for him to not know that he could speak to God directly and he didn't have to go through a mable statue.

This is the forum. Its essentially the main part of the ancient Roman empire.

This is where Brutus was believe to have died.

Triumphal archway

I'm pretty sure that this is Russel Crowe. He now takes pictures for tourists.
These are the holes mostly from people taking out the Bronz

This is the area below where the gladiators and the animals were kept before the big show. They were brought up on a make shift elevator type thing...

They built the stage to show what it would have looked like. They also found skulls down below of all sorts of wild and exotic animals. Crazy town!

Full view Outside view of the Colliseum. Most people think that the destruction happened because of time and the weather and stuff like that, but it is mostly because people would steal the stone to build other things. They would also melt down the bronz that was on the inside of the structure used as support to make things. Boo people who ruin stuff for others.
Trevi fountain. This was absolutely ridiculous. Tradition holds that if you make a wish and throw a coin over your shoulder, then you will come back to Rome again.

Spanish Steps.Isn't it beautiful?

This is the Vatican.
My wonderful family just sitting on the steps talking at the Vatican. Love them!

Vaughn Beames everyone. He was always off in his own world doing his own thing and we documented it.

Part of Vaughn's uniqueness is that he finds simple and what some would term as "boring" things fascinating. Here he had been visually and physically following this Roman pigeon around and just as I was about to take a picture, he turned around to have us look at it. This might be my most favorite picture of the whole trip. I love my daddy!

These are the Swiss guards. They serve for 2 years and they have to be Swiss Roman Catholic virgins. Sound familiar? They get cooler outfits than the Mormons do...
This was made by Bernini (my favorite sculptor) out of bronz that they stole from the Pantheon. It is located in the Vatican at St. Peter's which is the largest cathedral in the world. This is actually 10 stories tall, but you can't tell because of the size of the basillica.

This is Michaelangelo's Pieta. One of my all time favorite sculptures. I love the look of serenity on Mary's face (which is a very Renaissance look) speaking of the peace that Christ would rise again. I personally feel the Michaelangelo was inspired. I wish I could have taken pictures of the Cistine Chapel, but its not allowed. So much wisdom that is not a part of Catholic theology. Also, in the 1960's some lunatic came in and broke Mary's fingers off and Christ's foot. That is why its now under glass and you can't get close.

This is also in the Vatican. It's an ancient Roman sculpture. Normally they did have eyes like this made out of marble, but now they are gone due to destruction of pagan antiquities or stolen to be used somewhere else. Kind of freaky, right?

Vaughny loves his gelato. Look at his compared to Megan's. He was a happy boy....

This is their Capitol type building. Its also probably one of the newest buildings in Rome dating 1910 or something like that.
Zac followed me there. He loves me. What can I say?

Oh, hey. I'm walking down the street- no big deal. Oh wait ancient ruins. What? Caesar

was killed right here? Oh, ok. That's totally normal. Ya, I saw something like that in Provo.

Hello Pantheon.

The sisters at the Vatican.

Why? Why? Why?

2009-08-26T15:57:00.001-07:00

So, it's been a while since I have been a part of the 'blogger world' because A) I moved B) I quit my job C) I started grad school. In essence, I have been busy with really uneventful stuff that no one should really care about.

Did you know that I now live in Salt Lake. I really like our house, but it smells old. Is that weird? Yes it is. I went to my parents this weekend and I had on my sweats (the clothing of the gods) and I could smell old house all over me. Not into that. I also live in the upstairs portion of the house and it is officially the surface of the sun. At night, I just want to die. I am a hot sleeper anyway, so this is most definitely my version of hell. I better start repenting and being a good person because fire and brimstone and I will not jive together.

I started my master's program at the U. Wow, the amount of beards here are amazing. The BYU crowd lack them, but who isn't down with a little facial hair? I saw the most amazing goatee the other day that actually looked like a goat. It was really unfortunate for the following reasons 1- It looked like a goat 2- The man sporting the goat might have been attractive minus the animal fur growing on his face. I saw him in Lehi, not Salt Lake, so it might nulify all that I was saying about beards in Salt Lake.

So, here's the game that I play in class. I am such a snob. I look at the girls shoes and pick out the ones that I would wear and the ones that I wouldn't and what kind of shoes would look better with the outfits that they are wearing. I also like to think about what kind of clothes would look really good on them. Shallow? Maybe? I think that its a very social worker thing to do. It helps improve people's lives. I feel better when I wear cute shoes. Who doesn't? Call me Stacey London.

Other truths that I know. If I don't start making friends up here and have something to do with my life, I am going to get fat. I tend to eat when bored. This is not eating disordered, just the truth. Speaking of eating disorders, I sat next to a girl in class with skeletor face. And no, I would not wear her shoes. Also, I read on someone who I used to date a VERY long time ago's facebook all of the messages from his girlfriends telling him to "eat healthy." Soooo weird. It was like every other message. She also likes to show her boobies a lot. I'm not bitter....but that's only because mine are bigger. She also says things like "I love you baybee." Annoying. Hope my mom doesn't read this. She won't approve.....

Did you know that I sold my soul to the University of Utah bookstore. I walked in today and they stole my purse! They actually didn't but they make you leave your bag at the front, so I had to take my phone, wallet (to pay for my books, duh!), and ipod all out of my bag so that those heathens that go to the U don't steal my stuff. I actually left my camera there hoping that they would see that there is nothing there and leave my business ALONE! So, I left my amazing purse that I bought in Italy (feel free to be jealous) and I walked in pretending that I had some idea of what I was doing- which I didn't. I walked around for probably forty-five seconds and felt extremely overwhelmed so I left and decided to order my books online. Did you all know that the bookstore offers that? Its amazing. You go to your class schedule and there at the bottom is a "buy your books online!" button. Click on that and it pulls up every book that is required for your classes! Awesome! Especially since I don't even know the names or numbers of my classes so that I can facilitate getting my books. Anyhoo, I did said clicking and guess what? I WAS RAPED! Is that inappropriate to say? You might think so until I tell you how much it cost me....$731.28! Ouch! Do they know that I am unemployed and cannot pay a cent for this stuff? Actually, I do have a job that they label as being an "intern" which essentially means that I go to work, I do work, and I get paid nothing. I hear people like it. I like it. Whatevs.

Last item of business. My car radio doesn't work because I had to spend an arm and a leg to get it to not work. Or I had to fix my car battery and now the security code is on and the only way to get it to work again is to take my sweet ride (1998 honda accord- I know, be jealous) to the honda dealership and pay $66 to have them take out my radio and see the serial number, put it back in, and enter the stupid code. I would like to direct you to the previous paragraph. Not gonna happen. Poverty is my name!!! If you ride in my car, expect some singing from me...

Seacrest- OUT!

2009-07-10T16:05:00.000-07:00

My friend, Jonny Balagna, wrote part of my essay to ASU and I thought it was a) pretty accurate and b) pretty funny. I obviously did not chose to attend ASU since I am going to the U, but this would get anyone into school......

In addition to the above-mentioned traits which I have discussed, there are a few weapons that I “have in my arsenal” which I believe will make me da frickin bomb (weapon pun) in your program. Let’s be honest… have you SEEN my picture?!? One word: hot. From what I’ve seen browsing the ASU website, your school would greatly benefit from a looker like me. Such beauty adds prestige to your program and encourages more males to apply. Tell them that I can tie a cherry stem into a knot using only my tongue.I have tried to live my life with the motto, “If you got it, flaunt it.” Let me tell you ASU, I got it. These things are traits relating to my personality and beauty, and I will now provide you with 20 additional bits of information that make me a stellar applicant for your school:

1. I am not afraid to kill a man if necessary.
2. I can see through lead. Not even Superman can do that.
3. If nobody’s watching, I can do a double backflip off of the kitchen counter.
4. I once opened for Bruce Springsteen, and he said I was the new Boss.
5. The little paperclip in Microsoft Word asks ME for suggestions.
6. There are no such things as tornadoes; I just hate trailer parks.
7. In reference to number 1, I have proved myself 3 and a half times.
8. I know where you live, I’ve seen your children, and it would be a shame if anything should happen to them.
9. I simultaneously played both Jean Valjean and Cosette in a Broadway production of Les Miserables.
10. I am in love with Ian Peterson, James Schramm, Ricky Bobby from Talledega Nights, and Horton from Horton hears a Who.
11. I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.1
2. While touring with a company of Chinese acrobats, I set the world record for most items juggled at one time. The items consisted of 2 chainsaws, a circus midget, a half-eaten slim jim, 4 bowling balls (8,9,12,and 15 pounds), a Goodyear tire, Paige Hansen, and a sock full of nickels.
13. I am not allergic to sand, sunshine, or Boston Cream Pie.
14. I am the heir to the Toaster Strudel fortune.
15. I paid for college working as a part-time animator for Disney studios. During my time there, I created the characters Batman, Dora the Explorer, and Toucan Sam.
16. I wrote the book of love.
17. I was selected to sing the Star Spangled Banner at this year’s Superbowl, but I was still angry about the Michael Vick dog-fighting scandal so I politely declined.
18. I’m watching you right now.
19. I was first runner up in the Miss Utah competition, and there was insubstantial evidence to link me to her unfortunate poisoning so all charges were dropped and I took the crown.
20. Me like you long tim.

2009-05-21T17:16:00.000-07:00

I know that I have previous spoke about my love for Adam Lambert, and I still love him, but I must admit that my love has dwindled the past few weeks and I have grown to lover Kris Allen. Last night I returned from work to watch my DVR of American Idol with my friend Kathy. Now, I must say that I have NEVER been into American Idol, but it has been my world recently. I loved beyond anything when Keith Urban sang with Kris. I thought Whitney was going to flip her lid. She still wants to have his babies. So, anyway, I screamed and squealed and jumped around like I was 14 and at a Backstreet boys concert. So, basically, I love Kris Allen. And don't you judge me for it.

Oh my gosh, my friends make me suicidal and I really mean that.

2009-04-27T00:47:00.000-07:00

I cannot ever ever read other people's blogs. Others write about how wonderful their married life is and how excited they are to have their baby and they have those little baby count down things on the side and what do I have on my blog? McDreamy and American Idol! Could I be any more lame? No, I really think not. I was this close (imagine about an inch) from deleting my blog because I honestly have nothing to say other than I AM DEPRESSED! Geez! Can I get a prozac up in here? Maybe a seroquil? Are you impressed by my knowledge of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds? I'll throw out a few more for you- Xanex, Ativan, zoloft, gimme gimme.....freak...I gotta start doing something with my life. Do you want to know what my next blog will be about? You guessed it----------------------Zac Efron! Oh, kill me now.

So, here is my conclusion, I will continue to fill my blog with absolutely nothing of consequence because that is all I got and even when I have got something, its still all I got. I will also get one of those baby things on the side. I would say that from the amount of carbohydrates I ate yesterday, my food baby is at about 23 weeks. He will be cute! I really feel it. You all can watch the growth. Next order of business, I will make up a fake husband and he will look just like Zac Efron (I just saw 17 again-yes, please!) and we will be so happy in our little world. Then I will start writing letters to Zac pretending that we are married and ask him to come back (and help with the baby of course) and then I will most likely start a wee bit of stalking outside of his house, send Vanessa a letter with the slight scent of anthrax (over the top?) and then start blogging about my exciting life from the maximum security prison in Hollywood. Paris and Lindsay Lohan can be my cell mates! But they will get out after they spend a night or two, so then Wentworth Miller will be put in with me and he will have the entire blue print of the prison tattooed to his body and we will get out and run away together. HA! Zac who?

Or, I might just stop reading my friends' blogs. I dunno? What do you think my course of action should be?

My blog is ugo....

2009-04-08T00:56:00.000-07:00

I have been wandering around on the world wide web looking at others blogs and mine is hideous. None of the other kids will want to play with my blog at recess because its the fat ugly kid. I am ashamed. Too bad I'm really pretty and funny and smart that this won't actually affect me in any way.

Aren't you attracted to him? Not in Brad way, but more of a Joaquin way?

2009-04-08T00:37:00.000-07:00

I love Adam Lambert!!! About a week ago I was at the Jan's house (some call her mom, namely my siblings) and I was bored and trying to be sociable before I went to isolate and watch a little Felicity and Jan and Megan were watching American Idol and I was introduced to Adam. I love him! I could listen to him sing all day everyday. The boy knows how to perform! Now, I am pretty sure that he is gay, so our love can only be platonic, but check him out. He melts my little heart when he sings this Smokey Robinson song.....Sometimes I like a man who wears a little eye liner. So sue me. Is that how you spell sue? Is it like so and sow? Would I spell it soo? No. Stick with the original....Soemtimes I like a man who wears a little eyeliner. So sue me.

http://www.americanidol.com/videos/season_8/performances/adam_lambert_the_tracks_of_my_tears

2009-03-27T14:55:00.000-07:00

Again, I am watching TV (its this new thing that I am trying out) namely, Grey's Anatamy...and I see that McDreamy now his this sexy streak of gray hair coming out of his flowing locks. I must say that I am soooo into it. And he is sporting a beard. I LOVE a man in a beard. Don't give me a goatee (hideous- did someone say 1994?) or a moosetache (that is the correct pronunciation), which is just a cry for attention because no one can seriously wear one of those unless they are trying to be funny or are a New York City firefighter (not one of the hot ones but one of the old ones with a muffin top), but a beard is sooo hot. It's important for me to note that if you are rocking a red beard or even a blonde one, its probably not going to look all that good. It needs to be a dark beard. Then its hot. So, in essence, what I am trying to say is that I like his gray streak and I like his beard and I'm slightly pathetic.....

2009-03-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

Today I was sitting and watching episodes of Felicity with my dear roommie Smelsie, and I saw my neighbor walk by wearing all leather and a motorcycle helmet. She was pushing a bicycle. I almost wet myself. Enjoy that image.

Why would you think that?

2009-03-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

So, I have officially gotten three text messages that have told me to stay away from Walmart tonight because there is a gang initiation going down tonight where they plan on killing three women. Wow! Its a dang good thing that everyone knows about it and its being circulated all around. Too bad no one could clue in the police. What is also so unfortunate is that no one knows what Walmart it is. Perhaps its the Walmart in Morgan county in the middle of nothing where my 11 year old cousin lives who was the first to send me that text message. My personal belief is that if there were an actual gang in Morgan, they woudl most likely have a gang initiation of tipping over the cows rather than killing 3 women. I just got my fourth text message about it.....me no happy. My personal belief is that they will hit up the Walmart in Provo. There is a lot of gang action in Utah county, so goodbye three young BYU students. It is necessary for you to die so that a few hardcore gang members of the BYU extention of the crypts could get in. I think its worth it....don't you?

Under Pressure

2009-03-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

I have had a few people say that I should start blogging and I feel that it is something that you start when you are young and married.....and since I am neither, I thought that I should be excluded from the blogging world. So, Holly, Katherine, this is my blog. I hope that I don't disappoint. I am really feeling the pressure to satisfy my blogging audience.