27 is the year......

For many many things. This is what I am expecting for 27. I will GRADUATE! I am going to go back to Europe this year. It must be done. I will get a big girl job. I will have my own health insurance! Such a big girl. I will feel so very adult. In being an adult, I have decided to start doing adult things.

First of all, I went to my personal makeup artist and learned how to wear lipstick! Wha???

My lips look just like this. You jealous?

The next grown up item is that I am also wearing perfume...or attempting to find something that will accentuate my pretty face with a pretty smell. My siblings are so wonderful- they gave me a gift from Dillards. Its an event! I think going to an event sounds so adult. It's at La Chaille (very grown up) and they have all sorts of perfumes that you can chose from. It's $35 and you get admission to the event, a $25 gift certificate that you can spend at the event and a purse FULL of samples. Go to Dillards. Get one. I'll see you there.

Now, as part of being a grown up, it is time to decide on a few things that I am too old for:

#1 Going to parties. I hate them. I used to love to dance around and flirt with all the boys, but I can't stand it anymore. The men that go to parties to pick up on women are generally Ed Hardy wearing narcisstic shallow tools. Just saying. Sorry if I offend anyone. I have no desire to talk to, flirt with, or date men like that. But then again, there is no threat there because men like that don't date. They hang out. I am too old for just hanging out. You want to see me? Call me. Take me out. But I digress....parties are LAME....strutting my stuff is LAME (the stuff isn't lame but feeling the need to is LAME). And so, I am giving up parties cold turkey unless its a friend's celebration of their birth.

#2 Men who hang out and don't date . See above. Just ask me out. I will say yes.

#3 Men who dress like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. When did this style come back in? Its ridiculous. It is not 1989. Dress like an adult. I cannot date anyone who dresses "ironically." What is that? Be an adult.

Ummmmm........hmmmmmmm.......no thanks.

I want a man that dresses like this:
This is attractive. I want a man like these. Also, if I date a man who dresses like this, no one will ask me why I dress like this:
Also, what is up with dudes shaving steps into the side of their head. Hate it. And the embroidered shirts and Italian boots. No thanks. Move along. Go to your party and find a girl dressed in lingerie and mouse ears that will make out with you and then not understand why you haven't called. Not for me.

PS I haven't seen Mad Men, but apparently I LOVE the fashion.

Just a few things...

So, life has been pretty busy this past semester. I am working 25 hours a week as a THERAPIST!!! They give me clients and I am the only one that sees them! These people are crazy-referring to my employers, not my clients... I have been pretty lucky in having wonderful supervision and a life that has led me to this career path. I actually think that I've done a semi-decent job.... Are you all a little shocked right now that I'm not singing my own praises like I always do? These are people's lives, kids. Can't be that awesome, but I am as awesome as possible for being a novice therapist.

New subject- I love the fall. To me, it is the time of new things. I really love change and it's a new semseter, new people in my life, new ward members, new experiences. I love fall wardrobe. I love boots and sweaters and scarves and layers! Oh, how I can do soooo much with accessories and layers! And belts! I told my friends in my program today that my shopping is like food storage. Everyone says that when they get married, they can't go shopping like they used to, so I am following the prophet and storing up for the long winter of marriage....

Also, its my birthday. And shockingly enough I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!!! I think that its the perfect day...October 25th...As most of you know, I had the most ROCKIN' golden birthday 2 years ago (right, Erin? Doesn't get any better than that) and now that I am looking old age in the face (27!!!! What?) I realize that I am grateful for many many things, but mostly for Vivian, my personal makeup artist and Lancome representative that hooks me up with amazing anti-wrinkle cream. Bomb. Just kidding, but I'm not. Plus, it is right by Halloween which is the best theme for a party at any age. 2 months until Christmas, I could go to any dance in high school, I was one the first to drive (not that I did, I didn't get my license for like month. Lazy? Yes. Friends with better cars? Yes). And the most important part of my birthday is that everyone I love is celebrating me! Not really.....I love being around the people I love. When I left on my mission and was giving my farewell talk, I sat on the stand and looked out at all of the people who love me that was so humbled that God would bless me with such incredible people. So, thank you to everyone who has been a part of my life and shown me such amazing love.

Also, I am grateful for my life. Years ago if you would have asked me where my life would have been, this is not what I would have chosen. I would be married with babies (cuz I love me some babies) and not working because I am lazy and want to be a trophy wife. But, I have had immense opportunity to learn and to grow. I reupholster freaking chairs! Who does that? I am awesome. I have a wonderful family and so many opportunities to travel that others who are my age don't have. I am lucky. I am happy. I eat donuts whenever I want. I have 4 new pairs of boots. I live close to a little caesars. My earring collection is immense. Vaughn is the hulk and lives off caramel. Jan likes it when you booty shake her. I get to call my parents by their first names. I have wonderful roommates who are throwing my a birthday party tomorrow night themed "2001" from when I turned 18....not old....Well, this has been a much more reflective and mushy post than I have probably ever had. Anyway, LIFE IS GOOD!

I feel so accomplished!

This semester has been super BUSY! Not hard, just time consuming, so I decided that I would add to my busy by re-upholstering my hideous chair and ottoman (like the empire? Not sure) that I bought a year ago from the DI. It's very comfy, but had a slight stink of the 70's to it..... and I'm not just talking about the upholstery. It smelled as I imagined the 70's did- cigarettes, dust, old people, and hippies.

I think that you call can smell it.....just imagine.

Here I am tearing it apart. I found a really nice pen, an old cigarette, a dime and a whole lot of velvet dust. I had no idea that velvet created dust but it does and it's weird. I kept the dime and pen.

Here I am just plugging away! I did the ottoman first then attacked the cushion and sides. Easiest to hardest.

The only sewing I had to do was on the front where the sides connected. It surprisingly turned out well. Not sure why I did all of this in a dress that day. Bless the staple gun! My hand was SUPER sore from all the stapling and now my carpet, despite vacuuming, still has staples everywhere.
You can see the velvet dust in front of the chair. So weird. So smelly. Didn't it turn out so cute???
Here it is with the ottoman and yes, it does rule just like the empire. I am not going to lie, I am a little afraid to sit in it because it might all completely fall apart. I did this with NO instruction at all and just did what I could. Yes, I must say, I am awesome.

When mama is out of town...Vaughn gets sad....

My mom left for Prague yesterday morning at 5:30am. This is a detail list of all that the Vaughner has done since she left.

-Go to Smith's and buy a dozen maple bars, deli cheese and turkey, and a baguette.
-Call his children at 8:30am to invite them to come watch conference at the house (remember that he dropped her off 3 hours before). He tried to bribe them with said maple bars.
-At 5 when I got there, he had eaten almost all of the baguette, the turkey, the cheese and 8 maple bars.
-Came home from Priesthood and ate the rest of the baguette some more turkey and cheese even though he knows there is pizza coming in 5 minutes.
-Finished off the donuts (he ate 10 donuts in one day......love him....)
-Ate LOTS of pizza (but then again so did I)

This is why Jan can't leave. Vaughn needs supervision.

New Year's Resolutions

I would like to dedicate this blog post to my dear friend Alana. I am not very dedicated in the blog world, but sometimes a reminder to not neglect my online journal (I need to keep this for future posterity....ya, I want my kids to read about how I will be a trophy wife...don't think so. And kids would mean husband and I think this blog might keep the mens away)

Many people start their New Year's resolutions at the beginning of the year, and I do, but I also do some new school year's resolutions. I will detail both of them.....

January 2010.....
So, I am not very good at writing these down. Ever. This is what I remember and its probably the only one that stuck. I was going to and am currently flossing my teeth more frequently. Props to me. My teeth and gums are awesome and they thank my amazing goal setting and achieving capabilities.

I might have said that I wasn't going to shop as much, which didn't happen; that I was going to go to the gym, which has kind of happened but not until last week. I went three times. Sweet, but I ate more donuts in said week than I went to the gym. Does it still count? I say yes, but only because I intuitively ate those donuts. And finally, drumroll please.......that I was going to get a boyfriend. HA! Not a resolution, but I did go to Vegas in January and had a guy face rape me. Traumatizing, but it can count.

September 2010....
Let the school year begin! I always start out saying that I will read the material, that I will pay attention in class, and be on top of my homework. That lasts about as long as the thought takes place in my brain. I am now setting realistic goals that will actually benefit me, such as: only buy books that I have to. I have a stack of books with uncracked bindings because of my stupid past resolutions. WASTE. OF. MONEY. I generally get better grades than everyone in my class, write superior papers, and have opions about everything without the books, so my less is $1000 later and I have to use my precious space designated for clothes to put text books. Not happening this year (nor did it last semester. They trick you that first semester by making you think you will need them.....lies....)

Also, I am going to bring more snacks to class to aid me in paying attention and by paying attention, I mean not falling asleep and using my time productively through snacking and doodling in my planner. Good goal. I can honestly check that one off the list already. So, I think I am done with my resolutions. Any that you think I should add?

Let's step up again....and again....and again....and again....

Ok, I am totally open with all of my crazy and guilty pleasures so here I will open myself up to yet another shameful (yet awesome) experience that I have had: Yesterday I went and saw Step Up 3D. Uh, hello!!! Awesome (and horrible all at the same time)!!! I will begin with the horror that is 3D movies. I really don't think that they make a movie that cool. I saw the nightmare before Christmas and a Christmas Carol all in 3D and honestly, the only thing that happens is that I don't see it that well. I feel like it makes it harder to focus on things and makes it impossible to really pay attention to the throw down dancing!. And the glasses are a little sketchy.....do they sanitize those things? I probably wouldn't if I worked at the movie theater for movie theater wages. I blame James Cameron. Now I have already said how I feel about Avatar (haven't seen it- won't see it.) Since this movie, everything has to be in freaking 3D. It's not that cool. Also, those glasses really don't go with any of my outfits.....

The first movie took over the Maryland School of the Arts, the second took it to the streets, and honestly, I didn't know where this one would go......I obviously underestimated the potential of dancing........let's take it to THE WORLD!!!

Now let's dive into the plot (there rarely is one, and it's honestly better if it doesn't have a plot). Just a warning- spoiler alert. So, Luke (hot-great abs) owns a night club and he lives above it with a group of people he calls the Bfabb. Now I know that you are all just dying to know what that stands for.....wait for it.....wait for it......born from a boom box. Totally awesome, right? Oh, and their crew name is the Pirates. Soooo 2003. Moose from the 2nd movie is in it with his BFF Camille who actually played Channing Tatum's foster sister in the first movie. I'm pretty sure that she in NOT playing the same character which is weird because it's the same person, but obviously us Step Uppers are not smart enough to make the connection..... Luke meets this girl, Natalie, who dances in his night club that does not make enough money and therefore is about to be foreclosed on by the bank! What? Luke's parents' owned that and he can't let their legacy die like they did (no one could have predicted that and I certainly did not turn to my roommate Claire and say it).

Enter the Samuri and Kid Darkness (they are the most cutthroat dancing crew alive! You can't battle them just once! And yes, those are lines from the movie). They are the bad guys, which is obviously from their name and black patent leather outfits. Julian, who is the leader, used to be a pirate (not a literal one, but on the dance crew. If he was a literal pirate, I think that the plot could have been better), but got kicked off because he made a big bet and threw a dance competition to win his bet. Loser. Here's the plot twist.......Natalie is Julian's sister!!!! What? No way!

Ok, now let's get into the really bad scenes. Numero uno: Luke takes Natalie to his secret spot (not to kill her, shockingly, but to L-O-V-E her) and shows her his inner most thoughts? soul? No really sure....Well, some sort of air generator turns on and he takes his slurpee (every good love story has a slurpee) and let's it float up into outer space. SO. BAD. She does the same, then love is in full blossom and they mix their flavors of slurpee through making out. Not judging. I could use a little loving, but not slurpee loving. I prefer snow cones. Right before Luke finds out that Natalie and Julian are siblings, she asks him to run away with her. She says "we could go anywhere...even California!" So glad she clarified. I thought Cali might be out of the question. Everyone better know that they win. They always win. It's inspirational! It's monumental! As they win the battle against the evil Samurai, Natalie runs in and dances with Luke to win it all in beautiful midrift showing fashion (hello, 1997)! Then she leaves him a note saying that she has taken his movie about the Bfabb's and entered it into a film school and he gets in! Yay! Luke! You are a winner! And where is this school? You guessed it.... California! So, the little African dude that is a Bfabb tells Luke that he let everyone else live their dreams, that it was now time for him to live his dreams. Tear. So gay. The end.

The one major bright shining star of the movie is the man who does the robot. I have no idea what his name is, but I love him. He puts my robot to shame, which is pretty hard to do. I'm pretty incredible. I want to have his half robot, half human babies. Here is a little youtube clip for you all to enjoy..... I would do the whole uploading thing, but I don't know how to do that, so if anyone does, let me know how to do that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VTW1iUn3Bg

Jobs that I could easily do if I weren't going to be a therapist

Sometimes I think about the things that I would be really good at if I didn't already had my career path ahead of me.

First of all, I would be a personal shopper. I spend my time in class and out in the world looking at people and how they dress and fixing it in my mind (not to be rude, but some of the social workers out there could use a little shopping therapy...I'm just saying). Chacos are NOT shoes to be worn day to day!!! Save them for the hike! Stacey London and I would totally be besties. Sometimes I want to dress horribly for 2 weeks and have someone nominate me for what not to wear so I can get $5000 to spend on clothes, but I go and look in my closet, and its just not possible....so, sigh, I shall not get a new wardrobe for free, but I might spend the money for one....

Secondly, I would be the best American Idol ever. Not for the talent, but for my shining personality....and my amazing talent. Sometimes (all the time) I sing in my car by myself, but since I started watching the Idol, I always think about how I would perform the songs on the show. I. AM. GOOD. I don't want to be famous and go on tour and sell record albums, just want to be on the show and win and then never do anything with it again.....except go on one of those "celebrity" reality shows and fall in love with one of the New kids on the Block or one of the Brady Bunch.

Thirdly, I could be a judge on American Idol. I am just as good as Simon. We always agree except on the weirdies with the dreds and the screaming voices. I also do a wicked mean impression of Kara and Paula. I'm sure that I could act just like them and do it for a whole lot less dinero.

And lastly, the job that I am most capable of and will be the best at, is.....drum roll please.......a trophy wife. I am blonde, have big boobs, and am very capable of shopping and spending money all day long (I might have accidently did some online shopping today that resulted in 3 dresses and a season of TV on DVD...oops). In addition, I am an excellent cook, like to clean, and would be very good at hiring a cook and a maid. I am pretty. I am capable of birthing lots of children. I am comfortable saying "I will let the staff take care of that." I look good as arm candy. I like diamonds (or at least I think I will). I have great taste in men's fashion and will be able to dress my man for some serious business (business socks included)...

And so, I bid farewell to my dreams of my alternate careers and look into my future as a second year grad student. This year I am interning with LDS family services working with their eating disorder clients.....it's like the same thing as being an American Idol, right?