Some more resolutions!

This year I thought I would document my new year's resolutions because I always forget what I said I was going to do. Now, I know you all will think, "YES! Now that is a resolution!" And work towards being more of what I will be by the time 2011 is over....

1. Win Publisher's Clearing House. I am Mormon so the whole gambling lottery thing is out of the question, but something HAS got to give here, people. I owe Obama so much money and he never told me about this whole paying him back thing...

2. Perfect my Scottish accent. I can pretty much pass for British so it is time to move forward to another part of that world.

3. Become a natural blonde. I am sick of this whole getting my hair done every 8 weeks. Time to change that business.

4. Stop spilling orange juice on top of my head. I have pictures and a story for a later post.

5. Shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. I keep singing about, so I think I better do it otherwise everyone might start to think I am lying.

6. No split ends in 2010.......doesn't sound as good as 2011.

7. Find that unicorn again. I swear we saw a white unicorn frollicking in the hills this summer.

8. Eat more donuts. Nuff said.

9. Graduate from school. This one is serious. Sorry.

10. Wear my sweatpants more often. I welcomed a new pair from Yale this year. I might purchase some U sweats.....still thinking about it.

11. Become a Samuari master. Can totally happen.

Yep, I have some lofty aspirations for 2011.

A Year in Review

So, I dedicate this to Mike and Madelyn since I just had lunch and they told me it was time to update the ol' blog, so here it is.

2010 was a hard year, I am not going lie. I had to watch The Last song staring a brooding Miley Cyrus and Greg "my career is dying" Kinear. I was visiting my friend Tia in Montana and she made me. As all of you know, I hate Nicholas Sparks. The devil has a special place reserved for him in hell. It was bad, there were sea turtles, and (spoiler alert) Greg dies. Nicholas need new material.

In addition to having to watch that, I was busy and stressed and tired and Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat which really ruined my desire for sandwiches, which is really important to me! Work has been very good, but very exhausting. I love working for the church and being able to therapize some peeps, but I am a work-a-holic. You wouldn't know that about me if you just met me because I come off VERY lazy, but oh contraire (did I just make up a word? or at least the spelling? I could look it up, but I'm too lazy) I work a lot and I schedule my time far far in advance. For instance, I was set up on a couple of blind dates this year (its my thing, you know- keep sending them my way. I accept applicants from ages 21 to 35) and I had to schedule them out a week or two in advance. Busy busy.

Another reason that 2010 wasn't that great of a year- I have to wear nylons to work. Sometimes I don't (rebel) but when I do, they just cut my stomach in half and cause all sorts of bunching. I remember the days of being a missionary on the streets of NYC and having to wear layers upon layers upon layer until I looked like the kid on a Christmas Story, but who was I trying to impress??? Sooooooooooo ugly. Ask anyone. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Taylor got engaged this year. I love his fiance Polly. She is so wonderful and she likes Taylor, which is a miracle. The first Beames to get married is the baby. I think my mom did some serious damage to her girls......that is something I learned in my classes at school- blame the mother, works everytime.

My cousin Paige married my cousin Jarvis, which is weird. My 2 first cousins got married. Can we say backwoods??? Just kidding. It is a little odd. Her new last name is Beames......which is an awesome last name (you all are thinking "sure it is....."), but in our old ward in Provo, we all lived together and everyone knows that the Beames and the Hansens are cousins, so when Jarvis moved into the ward, everyone assumed they were cousins when they were actually engaged. Gross kids. On the bright side of things, I caught the bouquet. The last time I caught the bouquet was at Scott and Eva's wedding and I was the only single girl over the age of 7. I had the whole height thing going for me. Then they all cried so I gave it to them. I am so ashamed. Since that time I have pretty much shunned the whole bouquet toss, but I had to support of my 2 single sisters and a couple of Paige's cousins on the other side who are probably around 18. I had the height thing on my side again this time, but at least there were 2 adults and a couple of girls who should be graduating from young women's soon as my competition. It is definitely the year of the Sydney.....or all of my extended family (on both sides because they were all there) said it was. 2011, here I come.

So, I have some BIG news....I got bangs. Not the swoopy to the side stuff, but full on Tootie from facts of life. I. LOOK. GOOD. Just like this minus the turtle neck. Everything else is the same.

Ok, my peeps, I will try to be better at this whole blogging thing, but I don't forsee that happening until I find me a sugar daddy so if you know someone looking for a trophy wife, I am your girl!!!

27 is the year......

For many many things. This is what I am expecting for 27. I will GRADUATE! I am going to go back to Europe this year. It must be done. I will get a big girl job. I will have my own health insurance! Such a big girl. I will feel so very adult. In being an adult, I have decided to start doing adult things.

First of all, I went to my personal makeup artist and learned how to wear lipstick! Wha???

My lips look just like this. You jealous?

The next grown up item is that I am also wearing perfume...or attempting to find something that will accentuate my pretty face with a pretty smell. My siblings are so wonderful- they gave me a gift from Dillards. Its an event! I think going to an event sounds so adult. It's at La Chaille (very grown up) and they have all sorts of perfumes that you can chose from. It's $35 and you get admission to the event, a $25 gift certificate that you can spend at the event and a purse FULL of samples. Go to Dillards. Get one. I'll see you there.

Now, as part of being a grown up, it is time to decide on a few things that I am too old for:

#1 Going to parties. I hate them. I used to love to dance around and flirt with all the boys, but I can't stand it anymore. The men that go to parties to pick up on women are generally Ed Hardy wearing narcisstic shallow tools. Just saying. Sorry if I offend anyone. I have no desire to talk to, flirt with, or date men like that. But then again, there is no threat there because men like that don't date. They hang out. I am too old for just hanging out. You want to see me? Call me. Take me out. But I digress....parties are LAME....strutting my stuff is LAME (the stuff isn't lame but feeling the need to is LAME). And so, I am giving up parties cold turkey unless its a friend's celebration of their birth.

#2 Men who hang out and don't date . See above. Just ask me out. I will say yes.

#3 Men who dress like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. When did this style come back in? Its ridiculous. It is not 1989. Dress like an adult. I cannot date anyone who dresses "ironically." What is that? Be an adult.

Ummmmm........hmmmmmmm.......no thanks.

I want a man that dresses like this:
This is attractive. I want a man like these. Also, if I date a man who dresses like this, no one will ask me why I dress like this:
Also, what is up with dudes shaving steps into the side of their head. Hate it. And the embroidered shirts and Italian boots. No thanks. Move along. Go to your party and find a girl dressed in lingerie and mouse ears that will make out with you and then not understand why you haven't called. Not for me.

PS I haven't seen Mad Men, but apparently I LOVE the fashion.

Just a few things...

So, life has been pretty busy this past semester. I am working 25 hours a week as a THERAPIST!!! They give me clients and I am the only one that sees them! These people are crazy-referring to my employers, not my clients... I have been pretty lucky in having wonderful supervision and a life that has led me to this career path. I actually think that I've done a semi-decent job.... Are you all a little shocked right now that I'm not singing my own praises like I always do? These are people's lives, kids. Can't be that awesome, but I am as awesome as possible for being a novice therapist.

New subject- I love the fall. To me, it is the time of new things. I really love change and it's a new semseter, new people in my life, new ward members, new experiences. I love fall wardrobe. I love boots and sweaters and scarves and layers! Oh, how I can do soooo much with accessories and layers! And belts! I told my friends in my program today that my shopping is like food storage. Everyone says that when they get married, they can't go shopping like they used to, so I am following the prophet and storing up for the long winter of marriage....

Also, its my birthday. And shockingly enough I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!!! I think that its the perfect day...October 25th...As most of you know, I had the most ROCKIN' golden birthday 2 years ago (right, Erin? Doesn't get any better than that) and now that I am looking old age in the face (27!!!! What?) I realize that I am grateful for many many things, but mostly for Vivian, my personal makeup artist and Lancome representative that hooks me up with amazing anti-wrinkle cream. Bomb. Just kidding, but I'm not. Plus, it is right by Halloween which is the best theme for a party at any age. 2 months until Christmas, I could go to any dance in high school, I was one the first to drive (not that I did, I didn't get my license for like month. Lazy? Yes. Friends with better cars? Yes). And the most important part of my birthday is that everyone I love is celebrating me! Not really.....I love being around the people I love. When I left on my mission and was giving my farewell talk, I sat on the stand and looked out at all of the people who love me that was so humbled that God would bless me with such incredible people. So, thank you to everyone who has been a part of my life and shown me such amazing love.

Also, I am grateful for my life. Years ago if you would have asked me where my life would have been, this is not what I would have chosen. I would be married with babies (cuz I love me some babies) and not working because I am lazy and want to be a trophy wife. But, I have had immense opportunity to learn and to grow. I reupholster freaking chairs! Who does that? I am awesome. I have a wonderful family and so many opportunities to travel that others who are my age don't have. I am lucky. I am happy. I eat donuts whenever I want. I have 4 new pairs of boots. I live close to a little caesars. My earring collection is immense. Vaughn is the hulk and lives off caramel. Jan likes it when you booty shake her. I get to call my parents by their first names. I have wonderful roommates who are throwing my a birthday party tomorrow night themed "2001" from when I turned 18....not old....Well, this has been a much more reflective and mushy post than I have probably ever had. Anyway, LIFE IS GOOD!

I feel so accomplished!

This semester has been super BUSY! Not hard, just time consuming, so I decided that I would add to my busy by re-upholstering my hideous chair and ottoman (like the empire? Not sure) that I bought a year ago from the DI. It's very comfy, but had a slight stink of the 70's to it..... and I'm not just talking about the upholstery. It smelled as I imagined the 70's did- cigarettes, dust, old people, and hippies.

I think that you call can smell it.....just imagine.

Here I am tearing it apart. I found a really nice pen, an old cigarette, a dime and a whole lot of velvet dust. I had no idea that velvet created dust but it does and it's weird. I kept the dime and pen.

Here I am just plugging away! I did the ottoman first then attacked the cushion and sides. Easiest to hardest.

The only sewing I had to do was on the front where the sides connected. It surprisingly turned out well. Not sure why I did all of this in a dress that day. Bless the staple gun! My hand was SUPER sore from all the stapling and now my carpet, despite vacuuming, still has staples everywhere.
You can see the velvet dust in front of the chair. So weird. So smelly. Didn't it turn out so cute???
Here it is with the ottoman and yes, it does rule just like the empire. I am not going to lie, I am a little afraid to sit in it because it might all completely fall apart. I did this with NO instruction at all and just did what I could. Yes, I must say, I am awesome.

When mama is out of town...Vaughn gets sad....

My mom left for Prague yesterday morning at 5:30am. This is a detail list of all that the Vaughner has done since she left.

-Go to Smith's and buy a dozen maple bars, deli cheese and turkey, and a baguette.
-Call his children at 8:30am to invite them to come watch conference at the house (remember that he dropped her off 3 hours before). He tried to bribe them with said maple bars.
-At 5 when I got there, he had eaten almost all of the baguette, the turkey, the cheese and 8 maple bars.
-Came home from Priesthood and ate the rest of the baguette some more turkey and cheese even though he knows there is pizza coming in 5 minutes.
-Finished off the donuts (he ate 10 donuts in one day......love him....)
-Ate LOTS of pizza (but then again so did I)

This is why Jan can't leave. Vaughn needs supervision.

New Year's Resolutions

I would like to dedicate this blog post to my dear friend Alana. I am not very dedicated in the blog world, but sometimes a reminder to not neglect my online journal (I need to keep this for future posterity....ya, I want my kids to read about how I will be a trophy wife...don't think so. And kids would mean husband and I think this blog might keep the mens away)

Many people start their New Year's resolutions at the beginning of the year, and I do, but I also do some new school year's resolutions. I will detail both of them.....

January 2010.....
So, I am not very good at writing these down. Ever. This is what I remember and its probably the only one that stuck. I was going to and am currently flossing my teeth more frequently. Props to me. My teeth and gums are awesome and they thank my amazing goal setting and achieving capabilities.

I might have said that I wasn't going to shop as much, which didn't happen; that I was going to go to the gym, which has kind of happened but not until last week. I went three times. Sweet, but I ate more donuts in said week than I went to the gym. Does it still count? I say yes, but only because I intuitively ate those donuts. And finally, drumroll please.......that I was going to get a boyfriend. HA! Not a resolution, but I did go to Vegas in January and had a guy face rape me. Traumatizing, but it can count.

September 2010....
Let the school year begin! I always start out saying that I will read the material, that I will pay attention in class, and be on top of my homework. That lasts about as long as the thought takes place in my brain. I am now setting realistic goals that will actually benefit me, such as: only buy books that I have to. I have a stack of books with uncracked bindings because of my stupid past resolutions. WASTE. OF. MONEY. I generally get better grades than everyone in my class, write superior papers, and have opions about everything without the books, so my less is $1000 later and I have to use my precious space designated for clothes to put text books. Not happening this year (nor did it last semester. They trick you that first semester by making you think you will need them.....lies....)

Also, I am going to bring more snacks to class to aid me in paying attention and by paying attention, I mean not falling asleep and using my time productively through snacking and doodling in my planner. Good goal. I can honestly check that one off the list already. So, I think I am done with my resolutions. Any that you think I should add?