I really am. And I mean it more than just friends. This is serious.
I love Ryan Reynolds more than just friends. And that is funny because he was in a movie called Just Friends.
I love Nutella more than just friends. If a woman could profess her undying love to a creamy hazelnut/chocolate substance and have it be socially acceptable, then this is it, people.
I love Matt Damon. I have loved him since 7th grade. I made a picture frame of tiny pictures of him at girls camp when I was 13. What did I put in that picture frame??? Another picture of Matt. On my mission, he got married and I told my companion that it was to me. She didn't believe me. LEAST favorite companion.
I love sandwiches and potato chips. I could/eat them everyday. When I run out of either turkey or chips, I get seriously grumpy. Then I go to the store. Then I am happy.
I love Dashboard. Don't judge. You know all the words to their songs, so don't be all "that is so high school." No, its right now.
I love to sleep. I mean, I REALLY love to sleep. If I have the option of sleep or food, I pick sleep (which is shocking because I loooooove food). Pick between showering or being the stinky kid at work (and/or school when I attended, but I have officially dropped out...or graduated), I pick stinky kid every single time. This summer (of patheticness/awesomeness) I sleep until 11 most days. At the beginning of my time at the parentals, Jan would say "don't you want to get up and get the day started?" I would simply respond that it would give me more time to think about how lame my life is, so I choose to sleep as long as I can.
I love a good book. I will ignore everything around me forever just to enjoy a book that is eloquently written or makes me laugh or cry.
I love a good movie. Anything that is well done will do. I seriously lack any sort of emotion about my life (except apathy), but man, movies really get me! I was watching Pearl Harbor for a minute today (staring my boyfriend's BFF, Ben Affleck) and I was tearing up! What is up with that? I had to change the channel because I just finished my makeup.
I love that I'm pretty. Is that horrible? Am I so vain? Probably. How sad would that be to be totally unfortunate looking? I am not gonna lie, I don't wake up looking this good (but oh so close....teehee...) but what if there was not salvaging this mess? I also love that I am a girl. If you are a boy and ugo, there is no help outside of dressing well. I have soooo many products that will keep my face criogenically frozen at 27. It's gonna be weird in 30 years, I tell you what.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Plans and expectations
You know, I like to think that I am "on the ball" with my life in most ways. But I also feel that I am always working and striving to be better and do better, but I don't seem to make it, but isn't that what life is really about?
I have made plans and had expectations about my life that I haven't seen come to pass. I look at my friends from jr. high, high school, college and now even grad school and I can see the progression in their lives. Most are married and have kids, and those that aren't seem to be deep into their passions making the world better. I am not any of that at this moment. Then again, I have those friends that aren't married and are still trying to figure out what is next in their life and I do not envy the road that I have already traveled (ie grad school and finding what I want to do for a career) but I do envy the possibilities. I love having the world open to me to do whatever I want. But in terms of a career, I have made my choice and I am happy with it, but I still feel that there is something lacking in my life.
I decided that I was going to move to Boston many many months before graduation. I feel really really good about that decision, so I moved in with my parents in the between time. My parents are pretty fantastic and nag me WAAYYYYY less than high school (love you Jan), but is this where a 27 year old woman should be?
Anyway, so I got a job at Heritage working as a therapist and I am stoked about it, but I want them to move the whole campus to somewhere else. Perhaps Boston. I have a hunch that they won't, so here I am. I think that getting hired there was most definitely a sign from above that there is still something here for me, but I do not feel that way. I actually feel the opposite. I feel trapped. I feel like I am picking out cats, eating until I reach that critical and oh so fun stage of the "morbidly obese" and deciding to start dressing like my mother (who actually has great taste, so she will have to change that soon. I am thinking sweaters with cats doing funny things or t-shirts that say something like "your boyfriend likes me better than you." Side bar- can you imagine Jan wearing something like that??? I would just die. She has recently taken up wearing her overalls to garden because they are very convenient for it and I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard, but I digress....) I spent this week doing absolutely NOTHING because I have nothing to do. I don't have a ton of friends anymore because they are no longer living this single care-free life that I still have the ability and expectation to live. I want to break free. I want to break freeeeee (yes, sing along...)
I am happy and I am not throwing a pity party for myself because I actually am very proud of what I have done and where I am going in my career, but do you ever just start itching for a new adventure? I suppose that my job will be one, but I don't think its big enough. I have done the Provo thing. I have done the working at a treatment center thing. I suppose this will all change when I start in August. Just not what I expected. I guess that is why we shouldn't have too many expectations in our lives because they usually don't happen the way we think. Anyone else feel this way? Just sending it out there to the Universe (People used to look at the moon and say these things, but now we put it on blogspot.com or just say "earth to Matilda...hello....hello...."- name that movie)
I have made plans and had expectations about my life that I haven't seen come to pass. I look at my friends from jr. high, high school, college and now even grad school and I can see the progression in their lives. Most are married and have kids, and those that aren't seem to be deep into their passions making the world better. I am not any of that at this moment. Then again, I have those friends that aren't married and are still trying to figure out what is next in their life and I do not envy the road that I have already traveled (ie grad school and finding what I want to do for a career) but I do envy the possibilities. I love having the world open to me to do whatever I want. But in terms of a career, I have made my choice and I am happy with it, but I still feel that there is something lacking in my life.
I decided that I was going to move to Boston many many months before graduation. I feel really really good about that decision, so I moved in with my parents in the between time. My parents are pretty fantastic and nag me WAAYYYYY less than high school (love you Jan), but is this where a 27 year old woman should be?
Anyway, so I got a job at Heritage working as a therapist and I am stoked about it, but I want them to move the whole campus to somewhere else. Perhaps Boston. I have a hunch that they won't, so here I am. I think that getting hired there was most definitely a sign from above that there is still something here for me, but I do not feel that way. I actually feel the opposite. I feel trapped. I feel like I am picking out cats, eating until I reach that critical and oh so fun stage of the "morbidly obese" and deciding to start dressing like my mother (who actually has great taste, so she will have to change that soon. I am thinking sweaters with cats doing funny things or t-shirts that say something like "your boyfriend likes me better than you." Side bar- can you imagine Jan wearing something like that??? I would just die. She has recently taken up wearing her overalls to garden because they are very convenient for it and I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard, but I digress....) I spent this week doing absolutely NOTHING because I have nothing to do. I don't have a ton of friends anymore because they are no longer living this single care-free life that I still have the ability and expectation to live. I want to break free. I want to break freeeeee (yes, sing along...)
I am happy and I am not throwing a pity party for myself because I actually am very proud of what I have done and where I am going in my career, but do you ever just start itching for a new adventure? I suppose that my job will be one, but I don't think its big enough. I have done the Provo thing. I have done the working at a treatment center thing. I suppose this will all change when I start in August. Just not what I expected. I guess that is why we shouldn't have too many expectations in our lives because they usually don't happen the way we think. Anyone else feel this way? Just sending it out there to the Universe (People used to look at the moon and say these things, but now we put it on blogspot.com or just say "earth to Matilda...hello....hello...."- name that movie)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thor vs. Wolverine in a battle to the death! Or for my eternal love...
Who is the more manlier man? In this in depth article, I will discover who is the manliest using a point system that is completely biased on my own opinion and therefore, totally credible.
Overall likeablity- Thor is a self-entitled butthead (yes, I said butthead. If he can act like a 6th grader, then I will use 6th grade name calling). He whines and thinks he knows everything and doesn't listen to his one-eyed father. Now, I have an uncle who just had his leg amputated and he is essentially blind, and trust me, I would listen to Steve if he were a blind one-legged God who had fought a lot of wars and kept peace in the Universe because he OBVIOUSLY knows more than I do, but in the end, he sacrifices being with his lover, me (ok, fine Natalie Portman) for the betterment of the universe.... Wolverine is no peach either. He actually is kind of a jerk. Most girls would find him mysterious and have this inner desire to save him from himself and try to make him a good man. Not me. I am a therapist and I absolutely would not want to come home and have to do therapy on him. I do not like the bad boys. Plus, he drives a motorcycle and my daddy said I could never get on one. He does fall for that Jean Gray, but never really humbles himself like Thor does, so here is three-quaters of a point for Thor. If he continues to prove himself, then we will round up to a full point.
Scary factor- they say a picture says a thousand words, so we will let the photographic evidence speak for itself.
Not that scary. Not that bad-A. Just swing my little hammer and I will either put a picture up on the wall (which a woman always likes) or fly through the universe.
Ummm.....how did they get every single vein in his body to explode like that? I don't think that while editing this film, they thought "hey, let's do some air brushing and make him have more veins so he seems more threatening." I think that the vein-spolsion happened on its own and I am a bit intimidated right now. If the question were "who could hang the family photos better?" then it would go to Thor, but in defending my honor (as if I had any....) would go to Wolverine. He only gets a half point for my honor. There really isn't much to protect....
Finally, the last round goes to the best accent, naturally. Both are from Australia so all I have to say is "yes, please." But, unfortunately little Hugh Jackman did not speak with his natural woman seducing native tongue while Chris Hemsworth did, so the winner winner chicken dinner in this category is Thor. He can use his native tongue on me anytime (that might possibly be the dirtiest thing I have ever written on my blog. What say ye?) Three points!
I'm also going to through in a little love for the actors that play them. I like a clean cut man, so let's get rid of the long hippie hair and the Ace Ventura copy hair cut.....
Hmmm.....I lover Hugh in Scoop. I have never such a tall dark and handsome man pull off a finely tailored suit like he does. But, hello??? Can we just take a moment to stare at old blue eyes here? Conclusion.......speechless.....3 points to Hugh for wearing a suit so well, and 2 points to Chris for peering into my soul (umm, confession. I just typed peeing into my soul. Not on purpose, but I did most certainly laugh out loud for a second.)
In order to truly understand who is the manliest, we have to take a closer look at them sans shirts. It is only fair. This is a tough one. Both have REE-Dic-ULOUS arms they kind of make me wanna cry a little bit, but with pecks like that, I am afraid that Thor will take the cake here. He gets eight points- one for each peck and his six pack.
Overall likeablity- Thor is a self-entitled butthead (yes, I said butthead. If he can act like a 6th grader, then I will use 6th grade name calling). He whines and thinks he knows everything and doesn't listen to his one-eyed father. Now, I have an uncle who just had his leg amputated and he is essentially blind, and trust me, I would listen to Steve if he were a blind one-legged God who had fought a lot of wars and kept peace in the Universe because he OBVIOUSLY knows more than I do, but in the end, he sacrifices being with his lover, me (ok, fine Natalie Portman) for the betterment of the universe.... Wolverine is no peach either. He actually is kind of a jerk. Most girls would find him mysterious and have this inner desire to save him from himself and try to make him a good man. Not me. I am a therapist and I absolutely would not want to come home and have to do therapy on him. I do not like the bad boys. Plus, he drives a motorcycle and my daddy said I could never get on one. He does fall for that Jean Gray, but never really humbles himself like Thor does, so here is three-quaters of a point for Thor. If he continues to prove himself, then we will round up to a full point.
Scary factor- they say a picture says a thousand words, so we will let the photographic evidence speak for itself.
Not that scary. Not that bad-A. Just swing my little hammer and I will either put a picture up on the wall (which a woman always likes) or fly through the universe.
Ummm.....how did they get every single vein in his body to explode like that? I don't think that while editing this film, they thought "hey, let's do some air brushing and make him have more veins so he seems more threatening." I think that the vein-spolsion happened on its own and I am a bit intimidated right now. If the question were "who could hang the family photos better?" then it would go to Thor, but in defending my honor (as if I had any....) would go to Wolverine. He only gets a half point for my honor. There really isn't much to protect....Finally, the last round goes to the best accent, naturally. Both are from Australia so all I have to say is "yes, please." But, unfortunately little Hugh Jackman did not speak with his natural woman seducing native tongue while Chris Hemsworth did, so the winner winner chicken dinner in this category is Thor. He can use his native tongue on me anytime (that might possibly be the dirtiest thing I have ever written on my blog. What say ye?) Three points!
I'm also going to through in a little love for the actors that play them. I like a clean cut man, so let's get rid of the long hippie hair and the Ace Ventura copy hair cut.....
Hmmm.....I lover Hugh in Scoop. I have never such a tall dark and handsome man pull off a finely tailored suit like he does. But, hello??? Can we just take a moment to stare at old blue eyes here? Conclusion.......speechless.....3 points to Hugh for wearing a suit so well, and 2 points to Chris for peering into my soul (umm, confession. I just typed peeing into my soul. Not on purpose, but I did most certainly laugh out loud for a second.)And so, the winner of the first Annual Sydney's Manliest Man contest is.......drum roll please....
THOR with 13 and 3/4 points and the close runner up with 9 1/2 points is WOLVERINE. But seriously....I will take whichever one I can get.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I am Katherine Heigl
I was watching 27 Dresses and had THE most depressing realization of all time- I am Katherine Heigl. Not literally because I am actually Sydney (in case you didn't know), but it would be nice because she is rich and I like money....
So, in the storyline of 27 dresses, Katherine's character, Jane is always the bridesmaid and never the bride. I have not been a bridesmaid 27 times, but quite a few. In addition, I have done makeup and hair for COUNTLESS weddings. I have not had the opportunity to hold a wedding dress while a bride peed, but I then again I did flush toilets for a living for like 3 years.
In the movie Knocked Up, which I have never seen, she has a one night stand with Seth Rogen who apparently is a loser and she gets pregnant. I have never had a one night stand nor have I ever been pregnant, but I do tend to date complete losers who need to get their crap together. Unlike Seth Rogen, my guys never do, so this is where we differ.
In the movie Killers, she plays a completely awkard girl who does not know how to date. Did they base this character on me? I think they did. At the beginning of the movie, she has just broken up with her boyfriend who is apparently a nerd (I love nerds) and ends up in Nice with her parents. I travel with the parentals all the time. Twins. She meets Aston Kutcher (dreamy) in an elevator and is weird and uncomfortable and it is the story of my life. Where we differ- she ends up with Ashton and they kill people. I only threaten to kill people and by people I mean my brother Taylor, but he deserves it. He hog tied me last night.
In Life as We Know It, she plays one of the best friends of people who have a beautiful house, beautiful child, and another beautiful bestie in the form of Josh Duhmel (I would gladly lover him forever). She is completely focused on her career (which I was until I moved in with my parents. Have you seen their big screen and sat on their couch that sucks all aspirations out me???) and going forward in her life. She doesn't date. I don't date. Its natural, right? Where we differ- I don't have Josh Duhmel in his underwear in my house. That is the real tragedy here people. And the fact that I am Katherine Heigl. And now I have to get a snaggle tooth. Crap.
So, in the storyline of 27 dresses, Katherine's character, Jane is always the bridesmaid and never the bride. I have not been a bridesmaid 27 times, but quite a few. In addition, I have done makeup and hair for COUNTLESS weddings. I have not had the opportunity to hold a wedding dress while a bride peed, but I then again I did flush toilets for a living for like 3 years.
In the movie Knocked Up, which I have never seen, she has a one night stand with Seth Rogen who apparently is a loser and she gets pregnant. I have never had a one night stand nor have I ever been pregnant, but I do tend to date complete losers who need to get their crap together. Unlike Seth Rogen, my guys never do, so this is where we differ.
In the movie Killers, she plays a completely awkard girl who does not know how to date. Did they base this character on me? I think they did. At the beginning of the movie, she has just broken up with her boyfriend who is apparently a nerd (I love nerds) and ends up in Nice with her parents. I travel with the parentals all the time. Twins. She meets Aston Kutcher (dreamy) in an elevator and is weird and uncomfortable and it is the story of my life. Where we differ- she ends up with Ashton and they kill people. I only threaten to kill people and by people I mean my brother Taylor, but he deserves it. He hog tied me last night.
In Life as We Know It, she plays one of the best friends of people who have a beautiful house, beautiful child, and another beautiful bestie in the form of Josh Duhmel (I would gladly lover him forever). She is completely focused on her career (which I was until I moved in with my parents. Have you seen their big screen and sat on their couch that sucks all aspirations out me???) and going forward in her life. She doesn't date. I don't date. Its natural, right? Where we differ- I don't have Josh Duhmel in his underwear in my house. That is the real tragedy here people. And the fact that I am Katherine Heigl. And now I have to get a snaggle tooth. Crap.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
I got a job.....
So, I haven't been really doing anything much with my life post-graduation....living the dream at Jan and Vaughn's and watching Bones on DVD so I was not expecting AT ALL to get a job, but then again that is probably because I have not applied for a single job since graduating. A bit lazy......perhaps......
Anyway, my friend/cousin Kiley told me about a job at Heritage where she works. I don't check my email or facebook very often because when I have nothing to do, I do nothing.....Anyway, she called me and said that she spoke to her boss about me and they had me come in and interview. I wasn't all that prepared because she told me about the interview the day before, but I got it!!!!
Its a part time job so I am still looking towards moving to Boston...I don't know. If I love it at Heritage and I eventually get a full time position I might stay here forever....and then maybe die...Is this God's way of saying that I should live in Utah forever and die in my parent's basement????
Anyway, my friend/cousin Kiley told me about a job at Heritage where she works. I don't check my email or facebook very often because when I have nothing to do, I do nothing.....Anyway, she called me and said that she spoke to her boss about me and they had me come in and interview. I wasn't all that prepared because she told me about the interview the day before, but I got it!!!!
Its a part time job so I am still looking towards moving to Boston...I don't know. If I love it at Heritage and I eventually get a full time position I might stay here forever....and then maybe die...Is this God's way of saying that I should live in Utah forever and die in my parent's basement????
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Word Math!!!!
new clothes-giant box of crap to go to DI+2 full closets/boxes of boots in storage= :( + ?
ceiling fan at night+bangs=dreams of spiders on my face
no job+lots of time=emptiness
Thor+me=love....or a really good time lifting things- he is HUGE people
ceiling fan at night+bangs=dreams of spiders on my face
no job+lots of time=emptiness
Thor+me=love....or a really good time lifting things- he is HUGE people
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Ok, kids...sit down and I will tell you a story....
of a fairy princess who lives in the land of Lehi. Is she beautiful? Why yes, she is. Does she have a most fabulous collection of clothing and shoes? Yes, how did you know? Was she being STALKED by a bird? YES!!! Was it the most TERRIFYING experience of her life? Possibly....it all just depends on the author of the story- could it be Hitchcock?
So this fairy princess, let's call her Sydney. Well, Sydney was smarter than all of the fair maidens in the land (not really, she just dated less and chose a life of spinsterhood (again, not really)) and decided to get a masters in social work so she could be RICH along with being pretty.....(what social workers do you know that aren't filthy rich? huh?) and then moved home to study for her test and find a job to get her out of the magical (or depressing) land of Utah. As Sydney was moving her amazing shoes and clothing collection (its like food storage. All of my friends who are married say that once you are married, you can't shop anymore. I am just building up my wardrobe so that when I find my prince (yes, I just barfed in my mouth when I wrote that too) I will have clothing storage. I am just following the prophets here, people).
She was so exhausted that she slept for a long long time (or perhaps she has thyroid disease, but she looked better than Sleeping Beauty-that chick is a hag in comparision) and was abruptly disturbed in her sleep by the tapping of a bird's beak and the fluttering of its wings on her window (which is in the basement- that's where all princesses live...). She gets a little freaked out because birds are like winged rodents. She then falls asleep again and is awoken at the unholy hour of 11am (it is kind of awesome not having a job) by this same birds constant flying into the window of her bedchambers (that sounds so British) that happens to have a very deep window well....weird little bird.
Later that day as our princess is directing her servants (herself) where to put all of her glorious wardrobe (which might have taken up 2 closets at Jan and Vaughn's. No judging) this same little bird flies up to the window in the other room where there is no window well and begins to tap tap tap on. FREAKY. Then it does it the next day.....and the next day.....AND THE NEXT DAY!
The princess then goes and tells the queen about this bird and says she is living in a Alfred Hitchcock movie and the queen says "which one?" Yep, Jan is awesome. No, but seriously, if I end up pecked to death, just look for that robin outside my window.
The End
And for anybody who can tell me what this is from will get a figurative gold star-
"It walked on my pillow! It walked on my pillow!!!!"
So this fairy princess, let's call her Sydney. Well, Sydney was smarter than all of the fair maidens in the land (not really, she just dated less and chose a life of spinsterhood (again, not really)) and decided to get a masters in social work so she could be RICH along with being pretty.....(what social workers do you know that aren't filthy rich? huh?) and then moved home to study for her test and find a job to get her out of the magical (or depressing) land of Utah. As Sydney was moving her amazing shoes and clothing collection (its like food storage. All of my friends who are married say that once you are married, you can't shop anymore. I am just building up my wardrobe so that when I find my prince (yes, I just barfed in my mouth when I wrote that too) I will have clothing storage. I am just following the prophets here, people).
She was so exhausted that she slept for a long long time (or perhaps she has thyroid disease, but she looked better than Sleeping Beauty-that chick is a hag in comparision) and was abruptly disturbed in her sleep by the tapping of a bird's beak and the fluttering of its wings on her window (which is in the basement- that's where all princesses live...). She gets a little freaked out because birds are like winged rodents. She then falls asleep again and is awoken at the unholy hour of 11am (it is kind of awesome not having a job) by this same birds constant flying into the window of her bedchambers (that sounds so British) that happens to have a very deep window well....weird little bird.
Later that day as our princess is directing her servants (herself) where to put all of her glorious wardrobe (which might have taken up 2 closets at Jan and Vaughn's. No judging) this same little bird flies up to the window in the other room where there is no window well and begins to tap tap tap on. FREAKY. Then it does it the next day.....and the next day.....AND THE NEXT DAY!
The princess then goes and tells the queen about this bird and says she is living in a Alfred Hitchcock movie and the queen says "which one?" Yep, Jan is awesome. No, but seriously, if I end up pecked to death, just look for that robin outside my window.
The End
And for anybody who can tell me what this is from will get a figurative gold star-
"It walked on my pillow! It walked on my pillow!!!!"
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