It's been a while

I have been such a slacker when it comes to the blog-o-sphere. I apologize to my readers (I like to pretend like I have readers...). And so, I give you the update on me life (I have been watching Dancing with the Stars with Jan and there is this super sexy Irishman on there and he says things like 'me life' so I have adopted it. He's not gay, just European.)

Well, I have been full-time employed for over a month now and I am very happy. I love what I do. I love having money. And get this, I have benefits. Take that Obama-care! Actually, Obama-care really had nothing to do with it, I just want to sound all political and moralistic. It makes no sense, but to others who know nothing about this stuff like me, I sound like a woman of the world. It's a lie. I am just a woman of Lehi/Provo.

In other news, I hate dating. Shocking, right? I know. I am not bitter. I do not blame my singleness on anyone but myself (and then again I don't really do that because have you seen my face? Ain't nothing wrong with that). I am not all grumpy about men not asking me out or the questions as to why I am single. I don't care. I just really really hate first dates......I can be oh so charming and flirty (haha...I don't think I know how to flirt to save my life) but I just get so BORED. And, the worst part is, I CAN'T WEAR SWEATPANTS. Horrible.

Today, I had a brunch date. Weird. I was up and ready by 10am on a Saturday. Tragedy. It was fine and he was nice, but his favorite band was Matchbox 20. Who's favorite band is Matchbox 20???? Gross. Now, are you sitting down? Because you need to be. He likes Nickelback. I feel like only Communists and Nazi's like Nickelback. Not because they like the music, but they know that its the lowest, dirtiest, most rotten form of torture out there. Everything I liked, he hated and everything he liked, I hated. Le sigh. It was not meant to be. He will never call again and I don't really care. We were set up through my sister in law, Polly, who was college roommates with his sister in law. Polly has never met him. It was one of those, 'oh, I know a single woman and you know a single man, so it's perfect!' Needless to say, I think I am done with the blind dates. No mas. I am seriously considering cats. Or a hair-do like Helena Bonham Carter. Nothing says crazy single woman more than that. Except Helena is with Tim Burton, but I picture him looking like Jack Skelington, so it really doesn't count.

In other news, I think I am moving back to Provo. Yep, Provo. I had dreams of Boston or DC and getting out of this one horse town (lie- I am sure there are like one brazilian horses in Lehi) and doing something different. I guess that is just not in the cards right now. Therefore, P-town, here I come. Maybe a new adventure will happen there. Like the guy who plays Thor will join the church, move to Provo, and fall madly in love with me. I would take that. Actually, I know a fine gentleman caller (I wish he were my gentleman caller) that looks like Thor and might be my dream boat, but alas and alack, he lives far far away and does not lover me the way I creepily lover him from afar. But that is another story all together.

Sad and pathetic things that happen to the unemployed

Well kids, being unemployed does something to a human being. Not good things....no no....not good things. Here is how my life has changed.

Hygiene. What is hygiene? I gross myself out sometimes. I stongly believe that if you don't move much, there is less opportunity to stink.

Hair. This goes along the same lines as hygiene. I wash my hair soooo much less. I have adopted this new chic style of putting it in a knot on the top of my head. Its the new thing is Paris, Rome, and basements all across Lehi.

Couch time. Jan made Vaughn rotate his positions on the couch in the basement so he wouldn't get a butt groove in her sofa. Megan and I rotate positions every once in a while so our bodies won't get contorted in the same way each and every day. We are equal opportunity contorters. All parts must somehow feel uncomfortable. And this also lessens butt grooves which are an absolute EPIDEMIC among the unemployed.

Bad bad bad bad TV. Wow. I cannot even describe how bad. Oh, wait. Yes, I can. Yesterday we finished watching "To the Mat" a CMT original movie starring Ricky Schroader (who is no longer Rick Schroader, but Ricky again. Thank you. How else would we know that you are the boy from Silver Spoons?) and the Grinch in a blonde wig and VERY shiny pink lipgloss. Here is the storyline. The Grinch has left whoville and is now a finicial something or other who saves businesses. She goes to the south to help out the Slocum Academy, which is a school for WWE style wrestling. Wackiness ensues. She breaks up with her finance in New York who happens to be Jack Skellington in the flesh with Anderson Cooper's hair and makes out with the kid from Silver Spoons at a waffle house with her Grinch butt in the hair. But I digress. I watched the WHOLE movie. PA- THET- TIC. The movie and me.

Underwear radius gets quite a bit larger. I didn't do this, but I feel it coming. Megan decided she wanted a burger. She went out to turn on the grill in her bathrobe. Well, let me tell you a little somethin' somethin' about these robes. We all got one for Christmas and let's just say they are not the longest thing ever. In fact, they are quite short. Well, for any of you familiar with the Mormon underwears know that they are not short. She had many an inch haning out. And my parents' backyard is not fenced in. And bras are optional, if worn at all.

I am also beginning to feel that bathrobes are acceptable attire. Who needs clothes anymore? I certainly don't. I have always had a fond love of sweatpants, but a robe might be a bit better. My parents have finished the bathroom in the basement (because their children can't get jobs or husbands) and we have had workers here A LOT. They have all seen me rocking the bathrobe. Not the shorty one, but a much more suitable.

If I choose to get dressed, I only wear cutoff shorts and stripity shirts. My poor wardrobe is neglected. I think it cries for me out of lonesomeness. Did I just make up a word? What if I call if lonesomenessity?

I have fabulous makeup and am quite pretty, but alas, I am only operating at like 3% makeup right now.

I am pretty sure I done gone catch me a man like this!

I am in love.....

I really am. And I mean it more than just friends. This is serious.

I love Ryan Reynolds more than just friends. And that is funny because he was in a movie called Just Friends.

I love Nutella more than just friends. If a woman could profess her undying love to a creamy hazelnut/chocolate substance and have it be socially acceptable, then this is it, people.

I love Matt Damon. I have loved him since 7th grade. I made a picture frame of tiny pictures of him at girls camp when I was 13. What did I put in that picture frame??? Another picture of Matt. On my mission, he got married and I told my companion that it was to me. She didn't believe me. LEAST favorite companion.

I love sandwiches and potato chips. I could/eat them everyday. When I run out of either turkey or chips, I get seriously grumpy. Then I go to the store. Then I am happy.

I love Dashboard. Don't judge. You know all the words to their songs, so don't be all "that is so high school." No, its right now.

I love to sleep. I mean, I REALLY love to sleep. If I have the option of sleep or food, I pick sleep (which is shocking because I loooooove food). Pick between showering or being the stinky kid at work (and/or school when I attended, but I have officially dropped out...or graduated), I pick stinky kid every single time. This summer (of patheticness/awesomeness) I sleep until 11 most days. At the beginning of my time at the parentals, Jan would say "don't you want to get up and get the day started?" I would simply respond that it would give me more time to think about how lame my life is, so I choose to sleep as long as I can.

I love a good book. I will ignore everything around me forever just to enjoy a book that is eloquently written or makes me laugh or cry.

I love a good movie. Anything that is well done will do. I seriously lack any sort of emotion about my life (except apathy), but man, movies really get me! I was watching Pearl Harbor for a minute today (staring my boyfriend's BFF, Ben Affleck) and I was tearing up! What is up with that? I had to change the channel because I just finished my makeup.

I love that I'm pretty. Is that horrible? Am I so vain? Probably. How sad would that be to be totally unfortunate looking? I am not gonna lie, I don't wake up looking this good (but oh so close....teehee...) but what if there was not salvaging this mess? I also love that I am a girl. If you are a boy and ugo, there is no help outside of dressing well. I have soooo many products that will keep my face criogenically frozen at 27. It's gonna be weird in 30 years, I tell you what.

Plans and expectations

You know, I like to think that I am "on the ball" with my life in most ways. But I also feel that I am always working and striving to be better and do better, but I don't seem to make it, but isn't that what life is really about?

I have made plans and had expectations about my life that I haven't seen come to pass. I look at my friends from jr. high, high school, college and now even grad school and I can see the progression in their lives. Most are married and have kids, and those that aren't seem to be deep into their passions making the world better. I am not any of that at this moment. Then again, I have those friends that aren't married and are still trying to figure out what is next in their life and I do not envy the road that I have already traveled (ie grad school and finding what I want to do for a career) but I do envy the possibilities. I love having the world open to me to do whatever I want. But in terms of a career, I have made my choice and I am happy with it, but I still feel that there is something lacking in my life.

I decided that I was going to move to Boston many many months before graduation. I feel really really good about that decision, so I moved in with my parents in the between time. My parents are pretty fantastic and nag me WAAYYYYY less than high school (love you Jan), but is this where a 27 year old woman should be?

Anyway, so I got a job at Heritage working as a therapist and I am stoked about it, but I want them to move the whole campus to somewhere else. Perhaps Boston. I have a hunch that they won't, so here I am. I think that getting hired there was most definitely a sign from above that there is still something here for me, but I do not feel that way. I actually feel the opposite. I feel trapped. I feel like I am picking out cats, eating until I reach that critical and oh so fun stage of the "morbidly obese" and deciding to start dressing like my mother (who actually has great taste, so she will have to change that soon. I am thinking sweaters with cats doing funny things or t-shirts that say something like "your boyfriend likes me better than you." Side bar- can you imagine Jan wearing something like that??? I would just die. She has recently taken up wearing her overalls to garden because they are very convenient for it and I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard, but I digress....) I spent this week doing absolutely NOTHING because I have nothing to do. I don't have a ton of friends anymore because they are no longer living this single care-free life that I still have the ability and expectation to live. I want to break free. I want to break freeeeee (yes, sing along...)

I am happy and I am not throwing a pity party for myself because I actually am very proud of what I have done and where I am going in my career, but do you ever just start itching for a new adventure? I suppose that my job will be one, but I don't think its big enough. I have done the Provo thing. I have done the working at a treatment center thing. I suppose this will all change when I start in August. Just not what I expected. I guess that is why we shouldn't have too many expectations in our lives because they usually don't happen the way we think. Anyone else feel this way? Just sending it out there to the Universe (People used to look at the moon and say these things, but now we put it on blogspot.com or just say "earth to Matilda...hello....hello...."- name that movie)

Thor vs. Wolverine in a battle to the death! Or for my eternal love...

Who is the more manlier man? In this in depth article, I will discover who is the manliest using a point system that is completely biased on my own opinion and therefore, totally credible.

In order to truly understand who is the manliest, we have to take a closer look at them sans shirts. It is only fair. This is a tough one. Both have REE-Dic-ULOUS arms they kind of make me wanna cry a little bit, but with pecks like that, I am afraid that Thor will take the cake here. He gets eight points- one for each peck and his six pack.

Superhero powers- Well, Thor is a God, so that is kind of cool, has super human strength (in every bulging muscle), but I think that a hammer is the weirdest weapon. My dad uses a Yankees hammer that my cousin Whitney gave him. The Yankees are awesome, but that hammer is no crazy-metalled-claws-fused-to-rapidly-healing-bones kind of weapon. I tend to like self-made superheros (which is why I will always pick Batman over Superman. Batman did it all on his own while Superman was just that way) So, we'll give ol' Wolvey 6 points for his claws.

Overall likeablity- Thor is a self-entitled butthead (yes, I said butthead. If he can act like a 6th grader, then I will use 6th grade name calling). He whines and thinks he knows everything and doesn't listen to his one-eyed father. Now, I have an uncle who just had his leg amputated and he is essentially blind, and trust me, I would listen to Steve if he were a blind one-legged God who had fought a lot of wars and kept peace in the Universe because he OBVIOUSLY knows more than I do, but in the end, he sacrifices being with his lover, me (ok, fine Natalie Portman) for the betterment of the universe.... Wolverine is no peach either. He actually is kind of a jerk. Most girls would find him mysterious and have this inner desire to save him from himself and try to make him a good man. Not me. I am a therapist and I absolutely would not want to come home and have to do therapy on him. I do not like the bad boys. Plus, he drives a motorcycle and my daddy said I could never get on one. He does fall for that Jean Gray, but never really humbles himself like Thor does, so here is three-quaters of a point for Thor. If he continues to prove himself, then we will round up to a full point.

Scary factor- they say a picture says a thousand words, so we will let the photographic evidence speak for itself.

Not that scary. Not that bad-A. Just swing my little hammer and I will either put a picture up on the wall (which a woman always likes) or fly through the universe.

Ummm.....how did they get every single vein in his body to explode like that? I don't think that while editing this film, they thought "hey, let's do some air brushing and make him have more veins so he seems more threatening." I think that the vein-spolsion happened on its own and I am a bit intimidated right now. If the question were "who could hang the family photos better?" then it would go to Thor, but in defending my honor (as if I had any....) would go to Wolverine. He only gets a half point for my honor. There really isn't much to protect....

Finally, the last round goes to the best accent, naturally. Both are from Australia so all I have to say is "yes, please." But, unfortunately little Hugh Jackman did not speak with his natural woman seducing native tongue while Chris Hemsworth did, so the winner winner chicken dinner in this category is Thor. He can use his native tongue on me anytime (that might possibly be the dirtiest thing I have ever written on my blog. What say ye?) Three points!

I'm also going to through in a little love for the actors that play them. I like a clean cut man, so let's get rid of the long hippie hair and the Ace Ventura copy hair cut.....

Hmmm.....I lover Hugh in Scoop. I have never such a tall dark and handsome man pull off a finely tailored suit like he does. But, hello??? Can we just take a moment to stare at old blue eyes here? Conclusion.......speechless.....3 points to Hugh for wearing a suit so well, and 2 points to Chris for peering into my soul (umm, confession. I just typed peeing into my soul. Not on purpose, but I did most certainly laugh out loud for a second.)

And so, the winner of the first Annual Sydney's Manliest Man contest is.......drum roll please....

THOR with 13 and 3/4 points and the close runner up with 9 1/2 points is WOLVERINE. But seriously....I will take whichever one I can get.

I am Katherine Heigl

I was watching 27 Dresses and had THE most depressing realization of all time- I am Katherine Heigl. Not literally because I am actually Sydney (in case you didn't know), but it would be nice because she is rich and I like money....

So, in the storyline of 27 dresses, Katherine's character, Jane is always the bridesmaid and never the bride. I have not been a bridesmaid 27 times, but quite a few. In addition, I have done makeup and hair for COUNTLESS weddings. I have not had the opportunity to hold a wedding dress while a bride peed, but I then again I did flush toilets for a living for like 3 years.

In the movie Knocked Up, which I have never seen, she has a one night stand with Seth Rogen who apparently is a loser and she gets pregnant. I have never had a one night stand nor have I ever been pregnant, but I do tend to date complete losers who need to get their crap together. Unlike Seth Rogen, my guys never do, so this is where we differ.

In the movie Killers, she plays a completely awkard girl who does not know how to date. Did they base this character on me? I think they did. At the beginning of the movie, she has just broken up with her boyfriend who is apparently a nerd (I love nerds) and ends up in Nice with her parents. I travel with the parentals all the time. Twins. She meets Aston Kutcher (dreamy) in an elevator and is weird and uncomfortable and it is the story of my life. Where we differ- she ends up with Ashton and they kill people. I only threaten to kill people and by people I mean my brother Taylor, but he deserves it. He hog tied me last night.

In Life as We Know It, she plays one of the best friends of people who have a beautiful house, beautiful child, and another beautiful bestie in the form of Josh Duhmel (I would gladly lover him forever). She is completely focused on her career (which I was until I moved in with my parents. Have you seen their big screen and sat on their couch that sucks all aspirations out me???) and going forward in her life. She doesn't date. I don't date. Its natural, right? Where we differ- I don't have Josh Duhmel in his underwear in my house. That is the real tragedy here people. And the fact that I am Katherine Heigl. And now I have to get a snaggle tooth. Crap.

I got a job.....

So, I haven't been really doing anything much with my life post-graduation....living the dream at Jan and Vaughn's and watching Bones on DVD so I was not expecting AT ALL to get a job, but then again that is probably because I have not applied for a single job since graduating. A bit lazy......perhaps......

Anyway, my friend/cousin Kiley told me about a job at Heritage where she works. I don't check my email or facebook very often because when I have nothing to do, I do nothing.....Anyway, she called me and said that she spoke to her boss about me and they had me come in and interview. I wasn't all that prepared because she told me about the interview the day before, but I got it!!!!

Its a part time job so I am still looking towards moving to Boston...I don't know. If I love it at Heritage and I eventually get a full time position I might stay here forever....and then maybe die...Is this God's way of saying that I should live in Utah forever and die in my parent's basement????

Word Math!!!!

new clothes-giant box of crap to go to DI+2 full closets/boxes of boots in storage= :( + ?

ceiling fan at night+bangs=dreams of spiders on my face

no job+lots of time=emptiness

Thor+me=love....or a really good time lifting things- he is HUGE people

Ok, kids...sit down and I will tell you a story....

of a fairy princess who lives in the land of Lehi. Is she beautiful? Why yes, she is. Does she have a most fabulous collection of clothing and shoes? Yes, how did you know? Was she being STALKED by a bird? YES!!! Was it the most TERRIFYING experience of her life? Possibly....it all just depends on the author of the story- could it be Hitchcock?

So this fairy princess, let's call her Sydney. Well, Sydney was smarter than all of the fair maidens in the land (not really, she just dated less and chose a life of spinsterhood (again, not really)) and decided to get a masters in social work so she could be RICH along with being pretty.....(what social workers do you know that aren't filthy rich? huh?) and then moved home to study for her test and find a job to get her out of the magical (or depressing) land of Utah. As Sydney was moving her amazing shoes and clothing collection (its like food storage. All of my friends who are married say that once you are married, you can't shop anymore. I am just building up my wardrobe so that when I find my prince (yes, I just barfed in my mouth when I wrote that too) I will have clothing storage. I am just following the prophets here, people).

She was so exhausted that she slept for a long long time (or perhaps she has thyroid disease, but she looked better than Sleeping Beauty-that chick is a hag in comparision) and was abruptly disturbed in her sleep by the tapping of a bird's beak and the fluttering of its wings on her window (which is in the basement- that's where all princesses live...). She gets a little freaked out because birds are like winged rodents. She then falls asleep again and is awoken at the unholy hour of 11am (it is kind of awesome not having a job) by this same birds constant flying into the window of her bedchambers (that sounds so British) that happens to have a very deep window well....weird little bird.

Later that day as our princess is directing her servants (herself) where to put all of her glorious wardrobe (which might have taken up 2 closets at Jan and Vaughn's. No judging) this same little bird flies up to the window in the other room where there is no window well and begins to tap tap tap on. FREAKY. Then it does it the next day.....and the next day.....AND THE NEXT DAY!

The princess then goes and tells the queen about this bird and says she is living in a Alfred Hitchcock movie and the queen says "which one?" Yep, Jan is awesome. No, but seriously, if I end up pecked to death, just look for that robin outside my window.

The End

And for anybody who can tell me what this is from will get a figurative gold star-
"It walked on my pillow! It walked on my pillow!!!!"

This is serious business people

No, but really. Usually when I say I am being serious, I am not being serious, but this time I am serious....

So, there are some big changes coming my way. I graduate! I walk a week from Thursday. I cannot believe that it has been 2 years. I have learned so much and grown as a therapist (it only added to my natural awesomeness in telling people the right way to do things....) and met some incredible people who have shaped my career.

The most important stuff that I have learned have been about myself. What people don't really know is that a 2 year Master's in Social Work program is actually a 2 year program where you examine every single thing that you yourself do, why you do it, and how you are a total screw up and need to do your own work in order to help others. I never understood why I was so stressed all the time and why this has been the hardest 2 years because the school work really wasn't that hard!!! I am coming out of a master's program with better grades than I have ever had in my life (and I have always gotten really good grades, so I have just improved on my own awesomeness), but seriously! I am EXHAUSTED! I just did some serious therapy on myself for the past 2 years. When I am doing therapy, sometimes it is necessary to kind of knock people on the side of the head and show them what they are doing wrong in certain situations, but you do it in such a nice way where they come to it on their own that they leave your office feeling so good and motivated, but that is NOT the way it goes when you are doing your own therapy. Its just a bunch of hard knocks and then you trying to figure out what to do next......

So, what am I doing next, you ask? I am moving in with my parents. I haven't been without a job or without school since I was 15. I have nothing on my calendar except spending a whole 10 days withe the love of my life, Cal (he's my 19 month old cousin's son) and going to dinner with the wonderful ladies that I served with in the stake relief society presidency at BYU. I will also be studying for my licensing exam, taking it, and applying for jobs. After that? Who knows.

I really feel that the place for me is Boston right now. When I got home from my mission, I really didn't know what I was going to do, so I studied English. I have always loved literature and writing, but apparently it wasn't for me. Then one of my mission companions/friend since I was 12 said to me "Syd, why aren't you a social worker? You have always been meant to do that." I changed my major the next day. Everything fell into place from there and that is why I am NOT at all worried about the next step/job/place to live in my life. God has something out there for me (and hopefully he's over 6 feet tall) and I am just content doing what I need to be doing to get there. I will find the job that is right for me and I will pass my exam. This is the year of the Sydney, people. The year of the Sydney. Just remember that.

Anderson Cooper

I think that when Anderson is giving the news and interviewing other people, that they really should not EVER take the camera off of him...... That is all I am saying... hot hot hot. I want to love him forever. While we are at it, I also think David Wallace is soooo attractive.

My lifetime regrets

You know, I am staring down at the ripe old age of 27 1/2. Yep, you heard me right. I am old. I am surprised I can still see enough to type this blog....but getting older in age is helping me to realize that there are some things that I have done and experienced that I absolutely regret doing, and if I could go back and change it, then I would. It is hard to live a life with regrets, so I am sending them out there to the universe to hopefully ease my conscience and help me to sleep at night.

Regret #1 This one is the hardest to admit, but I am going to be a grown-up and just say it. I have read all 4 Twilight books. And I liked some of them....well, the first one I liked the most. It sucked me in- promising me that perhaps someone strong and protective was out there for me, but alas, Edward failed me. He became controlling and lame and horrible and Robert Pattinson. Ew. Then I read the fourth book and it was AWFUL. Bella became selfish and awful and whiney and the worst character ever written. She single handedly took the women's rights movement back 30 years.

Regret #2 I watched 2 of the Twilight movies. I should have learned my lesson. They were both so very bad. I did enjoy Taylor Lautner's abs, but he is young and therefore I am gross. And because I saw the second movie, that means I saw Robert Pattinson shirtless. Let me tell you, its not pretty and it is forever burned into my memory....

Regret #3 I saw Time Traveler's Wife. See previous post about the horrid nature of this movie.

Regret #4 I regret not kissing a few gentlemen callers in the past. None of them are from high school. I just want to make that clear. I sincerely regret not being more slutty in the past. My roommates and I read a study where the average person kisses 27 people in their lifetime. Let's just say that I might be WAY behind on that and am now set in my ways, therefore, I don't think its going to happen. But then again, if I never marry (which is likely given my abrasive personality) I might reach that by the time I am 100...ok, probably not. But if I was sluttier, I could have gotten more presents from men, specifically jewelry.

Regret #5 Not having a trust fund.

Regret #6 I regret being so awesome. Ok, I don't. I am awesome.

I might have lost my mind....

Everyone knows that Jan tainted her children from loving animals, but I stumbled across this picture of a friend of a friend's dog on facebook and I love him. His name is Herbet (or at least in my mind it is) and he is not a puppy, but a care bear. He is an old soul- very wise and compassionate. Could you not just die with how cute he is?

The promise of Spring....

So, as you all know, I am not a sports fan. March Madness means nothing to me. Those who can't do....don't really find enjoyement in watching those who can do. Sorry. But I must say that I do kind of love Jimmer. How can you not love Jimmer? Everything I learned about Jimmer, I learned from my 1 1/2 year old nephew, Cal (technically he is not my nephew, but my first cousin once removed, but my family probably will never have children, but gosh darn it, they will have an amazing education). He loves Jimmer, or as he says, "Mimmer."

I also love the spring because it brings new beginnings. Just like in Young Womens. Or not just like that. I graduate in like 7 weeks. Can you believe it??? Can you believe that all of my whining and complaining will end in 6 weeks (7 until graduation)? I can. It has been long, and hard, and I am ready for it to be done. But until then, I have enough homework to choke a donkey. Does that saying fit. I don't think so, but we are going with it people. And I have a licensing exam to take. Color me excited.

Future plans- Megan and I are moving to Boston. You have probably seen that on my facebook and I don't think that anyone thinks its going to happen, but it is. I am only applying for jobs out there because I have to leave Utah or I will die. It is not that I don't love it here, because I do. I am so grateful to have grown up here and gone to college here. It has been fantastic, but if I have to pretend like I date here or want to date here, I will die-or be really dramatic. Not working. It never has, so I will try life out somewhere else. Taylor doesn't want Meg and I to move there. Not because he will miss us, but because he HATES the Red Sox and Patriots. Thanks for the support, bro.

Speaking of the buttface that is my lil' bro, he gets married on the 16th of April. Weird. When he left of his mission, he told his 3 older, single sisters that he wanted us all to get married while he was gone. We lol-ed and said that he would probably be the first married. Fast forward 3 1/2 years and he is the first one married. We LOVE Polly and are so grateful she is taking him off our hands....Jan is always saying that he is no longer her problem, which is amusing and true.

Nothing really funny about any of this. Sorry. My life is too boring/crazy busy to be funny right now. Oh, my pot smoking misfits of neighbors got evicted. Oh, bless the rains.

The best Valentine ever....

I really have the best Valentine ever. I am so lucky to have my Valentine (myself) in my life. My Valentine really spoiled me yesterday. First of all, my Valentine made me an appointment with my doctor!!! Can you believe it??? Some people get flower's and chocolates, but my special someone let me go get my blood drawn. Tender. Then it was off to Costco where I saw all the lovers of the world purchasing flowers. I got brussel sprouts! (seriously, I bought brussel sprouts. They are tasty.) Then I got a massage and my nails done by my cousin Whitney. BEST. VALENTINE'S. DAY. PRESENT. EVER. Then it was off to lunch with lil' brudder and the parentals. Then again it was off to work. Then off to FHE. Then back to the parent's house because my car is in the shop and I had Janet's car. If my Valentine really loved me they would have given me my mom's car instead of my beauty that currently has 176,234 miles on it. Le sigh....maybe next year my amor will give me a new car, but I will just have to settle for the homework that I forgot was due yesterday at midnight that I started at 11:24. Happy Valentine's day to me!

Some more resolutions!

This year I thought I would document my new year's resolutions because I always forget what I said I was going to do. Now, I know you all will think, "YES! Now that is a resolution!" And work towards being more of what I will be by the time 2011 is over....

1. Win Publisher's Clearing House. I am Mormon so the whole gambling lottery thing is out of the question, but something HAS got to give here, people. I owe Obama so much money and he never told me about this whole paying him back thing...

2. Perfect my Scottish accent. I can pretty much pass for British so it is time to move forward to another part of that world.

3. Become a natural blonde. I am sick of this whole getting my hair done every 8 weeks. Time to change that business.

4. Stop spilling orange juice on top of my head. I have pictures and a story for a later post.

5. Shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. I keep singing about, so I think I better do it otherwise everyone might start to think I am lying.

6. No split ends in 2010.......doesn't sound as good as 2011.

7. Find that unicorn again. I swear we saw a white unicorn frollicking in the hills this summer.

8. Eat more donuts. Nuff said.

9. Graduate from school. This one is serious. Sorry.

10. Wear my sweatpants more often. I welcomed a new pair from Yale this year. I might purchase some U sweats.....still thinking about it.

11. Become a Samuari master. Can totally happen.

Yep, I have some lofty aspirations for 2011.

A Year in Review

So, I dedicate this to Mike and Madelyn since I just had lunch and they told me it was time to update the ol' blog, so here it is.

2010 was a hard year, I am not going lie. I had to watch The Last song staring a brooding Miley Cyrus and Greg "my career is dying" Kinear. I was visiting my friend Tia in Montana and she made me. As all of you know, I hate Nicholas Sparks. The devil has a special place reserved for him in hell. It was bad, there were sea turtles, and (spoiler alert) Greg dies. Nicholas need new material.

In addition to having to watch that, I was busy and stressed and tired and Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat which really ruined my desire for sandwiches, which is really important to me! Work has been very good, but very exhausting. I love working for the church and being able to therapize some peeps, but I am a work-a-holic. You wouldn't know that about me if you just met me because I come off VERY lazy, but oh contraire (did I just make up a word? or at least the spelling? I could look it up, but I'm too lazy) I work a lot and I schedule my time far far in advance. For instance, I was set up on a couple of blind dates this year (its my thing, you know- keep sending them my way. I accept applicants from ages 21 to 35) and I had to schedule them out a week or two in advance. Busy busy.

Another reason that 2010 wasn't that great of a year- I have to wear nylons to work. Sometimes I don't (rebel) but when I do, they just cut my stomach in half and cause all sorts of bunching. I remember the days of being a missionary on the streets of NYC and having to wear layers upon layers upon layer until I looked like the kid on a Christmas Story, but who was I trying to impress??? Sooooooooooo ugly. Ask anyone. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Taylor got engaged this year. I love his fiance Polly. She is so wonderful and she likes Taylor, which is a miracle. The first Beames to get married is the baby. I think my mom did some serious damage to her girls......that is something I learned in my classes at school- blame the mother, works everytime.

My cousin Paige married my cousin Jarvis, which is weird. My 2 first cousins got married. Can we say backwoods??? Just kidding. It is a little odd. Her new last name is Beames......which is an awesome last name (you all are thinking "sure it is....."), but in our old ward in Provo, we all lived together and everyone knows that the Beames and the Hansens are cousins, so when Jarvis moved into the ward, everyone assumed they were cousins when they were actually engaged. Gross kids. On the bright side of things, I caught the bouquet. The last time I caught the bouquet was at Scott and Eva's wedding and I was the only single girl over the age of 7. I had the whole height thing going for me. Then they all cried so I gave it to them. I am so ashamed. Since that time I have pretty much shunned the whole bouquet toss, but I had to support of my 2 single sisters and a couple of Paige's cousins on the other side who are probably around 18. I had the height thing on my side again this time, but at least there were 2 adults and a couple of girls who should be graduating from young women's soon as my competition. It is definitely the year of the Sydney.....or all of my extended family (on both sides because they were all there) said it was. 2011, here I come.

So, I have some BIG news....I got bangs. Not the swoopy to the side stuff, but full on Tootie from facts of life. I. LOOK. GOOD. Just like this minus the turtle neck. Everything else is the same.

Ok, my peeps, I will try to be better at this whole blogging thing, but I don't forsee that happening until I find me a sugar daddy so if you know someone looking for a trophy wife, I am your girl!!!