Why? Why? Why?

So, it's been a while since I have been a part of the 'blogger world' because A) I moved B) I quit my job C) I started grad school. In essence, I have been busy with really uneventful stuff that no one should really care about.

Did you know that I now live in Salt Lake. I really like our house, but it smells old. Is that weird? Yes it is. I went to my parents this weekend and I had on my sweats (the clothing of the gods) and I could smell old house all over me. Not into that. I also live in the upstairs portion of the house and it is officially the surface of the sun. At night, I just want to die. I am a hot sleeper anyway, so this is most definitely my version of hell. I better start repenting and being a good person because fire and brimstone and I will not jive together.

I started my master's program at the U. Wow, the amount of beards here are amazing. The BYU crowd lack them, but who isn't down with a little facial hair? I saw the most amazing goatee the other day that actually looked like a goat. It was really unfortunate for the following reasons 1- It looked like a goat 2- The man sporting the goat might have been attractive minus the animal fur growing on his face. I saw him in Lehi, not Salt Lake, so it might nulify all that I was saying about beards in Salt Lake.

So, here's the game that I play in class. I am such a snob. I look at the girls shoes and pick out the ones that I would wear and the ones that I wouldn't and what kind of shoes would look better with the outfits that they are wearing. I also like to think about what kind of clothes would look really good on them. Shallow? Maybe? I think that its a very social worker thing to do. It helps improve people's lives. I feel better when I wear cute shoes. Who doesn't? Call me Stacey London.

Other truths that I know. If I don't start making friends up here and have something to do with my life, I am going to get fat. I tend to eat when bored. This is not eating disordered, just the truth. Speaking of eating disorders, I sat next to a girl in class with skeletor face. And no, I would not wear her shoes. Also, I read on someone who I used to date a VERY long time ago's facebook all of the messages from his girlfriends telling him to "eat healthy." Soooo weird. It was like every other message. She also likes to show her boobies a lot. I'm not bitter....but that's only because mine are bigger. She also says things like "I love you baybee." Annoying. Hope my mom doesn't read this. She won't approve.....

Did you know that I sold my soul to the University of Utah bookstore. I walked in today and they stole my purse! They actually didn't but they make you leave your bag at the front, so I had to take my phone, wallet (to pay for my books, duh!), and ipod all out of my bag so that those heathens that go to the U don't steal my stuff. I actually left my camera there hoping that they would see that there is nothing there and leave my business ALONE! So, I left my amazing purse that I bought in Italy (feel free to be jealous) and I walked in pretending that I had some idea of what I was doing- which I didn't. I walked around for probably forty-five seconds and felt extremely overwhelmed so I left and decided to order my books online. Did you all know that the bookstore offers that? Its amazing. You go to your class schedule and there at the bottom is a "buy your books online!" button. Click on that and it pulls up every book that is required for your classes! Awesome! Especially since I don't even know the names or numbers of my classes so that I can facilitate getting my books. Anyhoo, I did said clicking and guess what? I WAS RAPED! Is that inappropriate to say? You might think so until I tell you how much it cost me....$731.28! Ouch! Do they know that I am unemployed and cannot pay a cent for this stuff? Actually, I do have a job that they label as being an "intern" which essentially means that I go to work, I do work, and I get paid nothing. I hear people like it. I like it. Whatevs.

Last item of business. My car radio doesn't work because I had to spend an arm and a leg to get it to not work. Or I had to fix my car battery and now the security code is on and the only way to get it to work again is to take my sweet ride (1998 honda accord- I know, be jealous) to the honda dealership and pay $66 to have them take out my radio and see the serial number, put it back in, and enter the stupid code. I would like to direct you to the previous paragraph. Not gonna happen. Poverty is my name!!! If you ride in my car, expect some singing from me...

Seacrest- OUT!

My friend, Jonny Balagna, wrote part of my essay to ASU and I thought it was a) pretty accurate and b) pretty funny. I obviously did not chose to attend ASU since I am going to the U, but this would get anyone into school......

In addition to the above-mentioned traits which I have discussed, there are a few weapons that I “have in my arsenal” which I believe will make me da frickin bomb (weapon pun) in your program. Let’s be honest… have you SEEN my picture?!? One word: hot. From what I’ve seen browsing the ASU website, your school would greatly benefit from a looker like me. Such beauty adds prestige to your program and encourages more males to apply. Tell them that I can tie a cherry stem into a knot using only my tongue.I have tried to live my life with the motto, “If you got it, flaunt it.” Let me tell you ASU, I got it. These things are traits relating to my personality and beauty, and I will now provide you with 20 additional bits of information that make me a stellar applicant for your school:

1. I am not afraid to kill a man if necessary.
2. I can see through lead. Not even Superman can do that.
3. If nobody’s watching, I can do a double backflip off of the kitchen counter.
4. I once opened for Bruce Springsteen, and he said I was the new Boss.
5. The little paperclip in Microsoft Word asks ME for suggestions.
6. There are no such things as tornadoes; I just hate trailer parks.
7. In reference to number 1, I have proved myself 3 and a half times.
8. I know where you live, I’ve seen your children, and it would be a shame if anything should happen to them.
9. I simultaneously played both Jean Valjean and Cosette in a Broadway production of Les Miserables.
10. I am in love with Ian Peterson, James Schramm, Ricky Bobby from Talledega Nights, and Horton from Horton hears a Who.
11. I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.1
2. While touring with a company of Chinese acrobats, I set the world record for most items juggled at one time. The items consisted of 2 chainsaws, a circus midget, a half-eaten slim jim, 4 bowling balls (8,9,12,and 15 pounds), a Goodyear tire, Paige Hansen, and a sock full of nickels.
13. I am not allergic to sand, sunshine, or Boston Cream Pie.
14. I am the heir to the Toaster Strudel fortune.
15. I paid for college working as a part-time animator for Disney studios. During my time there, I created the characters Batman, Dora the Explorer, and Toucan Sam.
16. I wrote the book of love.
17. I was selected to sing the Star Spangled Banner at this year’s Superbowl, but I was still angry about the Michael Vick dog-fighting scandal so I politely declined.
18. I’m watching you right now.
19. I was first runner up in the Miss Utah competition, and there was insubstantial evidence to link me to her unfortunate poisoning so all charges were dropped and I took the crown.
20. Me like you long tim.

I know that I have previous spoke about my love for Adam Lambert, and I still love him, but I must admit that my love has dwindled the past few weeks and I have grown to lover Kris Allen. Last night I returned from work to watch my DVR of American Idol with my friend Kathy. Now, I must say that I have NEVER been into American Idol, but it has been my world recently. I loved beyond anything when Keith Urban sang with Kris. I thought Whitney was going to flip her lid. She still wants to have his babies. So, anyway, I screamed and squealed and jumped around like I was 14 and at a Backstreet boys concert. So, basically, I love Kris Allen. And don't you judge me for it.

Oh my gosh, my friends make me suicidal and I really mean that.

I cannot ever ever read other people's blogs. Others write about how wonderful their married life is and how excited they are to have their baby and they have those little baby count down things on the side and what do I have on my blog? McDreamy and American Idol! Could I be any more lame? No, I really think not. I was this close (imagine about an inch) from deleting my blog because I honestly have nothing to say other than I AM DEPRESSED! Geez! Can I get a prozac up in here? Maybe a seroquil? Are you impressed by my knowledge of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds? I'll throw out a few more for you- Xanex, Ativan, zoloft, gimme gimme.....freak...I gotta start doing something with my life. Do you want to know what my next blog will be about? You guessed it----------------------Zac Efron! Oh, kill me now.

So, here is my conclusion, I will continue to fill my blog with absolutely nothing of consequence because that is all I got and even when I have got something, its still all I got. I will also get one of those baby things on the side. I would say that from the amount of carbohydrates I ate yesterday, my food baby is at about 23 weeks. He will be cute! I really feel it. You all can watch the growth. Next order of business, I will make up a fake husband and he will look just like Zac Efron (I just saw 17 again-yes, please!) and we will be so happy in our little world. Then I will start writing letters to Zac pretending that we are married and ask him to come back (and help with the baby of course) and then I will most likely start a wee bit of stalking outside of his house, send Vanessa a letter with the slight scent of anthrax (over the top?) and then start blogging about my exciting life from the maximum security prison in Hollywood. Paris and Lindsay Lohan can be my cell mates! But they will get out after they spend a night or two, so then Wentworth Miller will be put in with me and he will have the entire blue print of the prison tattooed to his body and we will get out and run away together. HA! Zac who?

Or, I might just stop reading my friends' blogs. I dunno? What do you think my course of action should be?

My blog is ugo....

I have been wandering around on the world wide web looking at others blogs and mine is hideous. None of the other kids will want to play with my blog at recess because its the fat ugly kid. I am ashamed. Too bad I'm really pretty and funny and smart that this won't actually affect me in any way.

Aren't you attracted to him? Not in Brad way, but more of a Joaquin way?

I love Adam Lambert!!! About a week ago I was at the Jan's house (some call her mom, namely my siblings) and I was bored and trying to be sociable before I went to isolate and watch a little Felicity and Jan and Megan were watching American Idol and I was introduced to Adam. I love him! I could listen to him sing all day everyday. The boy knows how to perform! Now, I am pretty sure that he is gay, so our love can only be platonic, but check him out. He melts my little heart when he sings this Smokey Robinson song.....Sometimes I like a man who wears a little eye liner. So sue me. Is that how you spell sue? Is it like so and sow? Would I spell it soo? No. Stick with the original....Soemtimes I like a man who wears a little eyeliner. So sue me.

http://www.americanidol.com/videos/season_8/performances/adam_lambert_the_tracks_of_my_tears

Again, I am watching TV (its this new thing that I am trying out) namely, Grey's Anatamy...and I see that McDreamy now his this sexy streak of gray hair coming out of his flowing locks. I must say that I am soooo into it. And he is sporting a beard. I LOVE a man in a beard. Don't give me a goatee (hideous- did someone say 1994?) or a moosetache (that is the correct pronunciation), which is just a cry for attention because no one can seriously wear one of those unless they are trying to be funny or are a New York City firefighter (not one of the hot ones but one of the old ones with a muffin top), but a beard is sooo hot. It's important for me to note that if you are rocking a red beard or even a blonde one, its probably not going to look all that good. It needs to be a dark beard. Then its hot. So, in essence, what I am trying to say is that I like his gray streak and I like his beard and I'm slightly pathetic.....