Sunday, November 22, 2009

I had a really really horrible Sunday...

I really did. But I don't want to talk about that.....but do you know what makes a really bad better? The atrocity that is the American Music Awards. I have officially become old. I don't know how that happened but I was SHOCKED by some of the nasty that was on there.

Let's start with Eminem. Hi, we know your hair is blonde. Way to go brunette so you can look more black. No one is fooled.
Dear Lady (or Man) Gaga. You are nasty and I have never actually seen your face. The nude light up outfit looked like naked Christmas. Way to ruin my favorite holiday. And, I couldn't tell if you had anything covering your bum (bum is a funny word). Was that a nude thong? All I know is that I'm comfortable.

Alicia Keys- you have gotten me through a many heartache. You do a great sad/angry girl music and I have enjoyed your songs and hope that I won't be needed your break-up music anytime soon, but wow-1987 called and said that even they wouldn't take those spandex pants. Also, watch your back because Mr. T is gonna come and get his gold chaines (pronounced chain-zez) back. Bad, bad, bad. But the WORST was what I am thinking was intended to be a belt, but ended up looking more like a necklace for your lady parts. And were you wearing back jewels?

Why did Michael Jackson win lots of awards? Did I miss him doing something besided dying this year? Yes, I am super insensative. Whatevs.

Now, on to the finale. Glambert aka Adam Lambert. He was in all his guy-liner, male polish glory. And his suit has stalagtites on his jacket. He danced with a girl. That is probably the closest he has been to a woman since his mama. But then he quickly had a couple of men in dog chains (no Mr. T reference here- Glambert's not masculine enough) and whips. Wow. Then he did something SUPER nasty that I am WAY to prudish to talk about. Then he ate a shemale's face. I think it was supposed to be a nasty kiss, but I have NEVER un hinged my jaw to kiss someone, no matter how passionate we were kissing.

So, I think that my spirits were lifted for a moment just because of how horribly bad it was. And I now also remember why I don't watch that crap. Oh, and Taylor Swift won entertainer of the year. I have a love/co-dependence for her that is unexplainable.

So, thank you AMA for changing my mood momentarily, but I will NEVER be seeing you again.
Oh, and Jolo (that's what Vaughn calls her. She is also known as J. Lo) fell down. Hilarious.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Could I BE any more boring?

It's really sad that I have nothing to put on my blog. Generally I write about TV and movies that I have seen (because I am that awesome) and those have all been extremely disappointing as of late. Movies, bleh. TV, bleh. My life, bleh. Actually, I feel that TV has one bright spot named Glee. I seriously seriously love this show. I miss it all the time because I have institute on Wednesday night, so I go to Jan and Vaughn's house to watch their DVR. Actually, on Friday, my roomies and I got our own DVR and its my new best friend. If I could open up our TV cabinet and hug it all the time, I would, but then people would think that I'm weird, which would be accurate, but I don't need to perpetuate the idea. So, back to Glee. I love the music. Puck has this sexy mohawk thing going on and when he sang "Sweet Caroline" I wanted to die or have his bad boy babies. I usually don't go for the bad boys in real life, but on TV, yes please. I'm gonna download that right now....instead of writing my paper, which is also why I am blogging right now....

My room still smells like Top Raman. Not sure what to do about it. My window is always open, but it is starting to get seriously cold outside and my house probably has the worst insulation of all time. Thanks old houses.

I ate only carbs yesterday. And cheese. Who does that? It was my brother's homecoming and Jan had brunch afterwards and it involved muffins and donuts and juices and ham. Ham is nasty. And its how you get tape worms in your brain. Ask Dr. House, he will tell you (episode 1, season 1). So, I did not eat the ham. I ate an entire dunford donut (420 calories, thank you center for change for teaching me how to count calories. I hate it) and then another half of one of those and then probably another 2 throughout the day (men love it when you call them and tell them everything that you ate for that day, so I thought I would just blog about it) and then a sandwich with potato chips. Then some more donuts and then banana bread and then when I got home, that Foxy lady that I live with made some cinnamon rolls. I thought that I would obstain, but that would just be silly. So, I topped off my night in carb city! Ya! Love it! I kind of wanted to die, but amazingly, I woke up hungry again. The body is an awesome thing!

I'm avoiding a paper. I hate school. I actually don't hate the classes at all- I find them enjoyable (minus my cursed policy class!) but I don't like writing papers. Even though I'm awesome at it. But what am I not awesome at? Besides all sports and anything that requires coordination (like walking), but other than that, I'm awesome.

My brother got home from his mission-which is awesome. He is so funny. He has always had a nack for irritating my sister Lauren, but now he is doing it in Spanish. She has NO IDEA what she is saying, and I just sit and laugh and laugh and laugh. Not that I speak Spanish, but I did learn to understand it on my mission. Good times. Bugging Lauren is a talent that she not be hid under a bushel.

Last Friday night at 10pm I fell asleep next to the fire in my house. I took an hour nap and then got up and went to bed. Were you wondering if I somehow jumped from being 26 to 62? I think that I did. At 9pm last night, I was soooo ready for bed. Maybe the Top Raman smell in my room is actually old people smell that I have acquired and I'm just not used to it yet.

On Saturday, Claire (my roomie) and I watched ABC Family original movies and refused to leave our house. A day well spent. Did you know that they have made 2 more Prince and Me movies? And they are awful? They couldn't even get the original people to be in them- not one by the third movie. Bad. Bad. Bad. And I kind of liked them....they now have the countdown to the countdown to the 25 days of Christmas. Wow. Little premature. And they are advertising for their next ABC Family original movie called "The Dog that Saved Christmas." I can't wait. Everyone should know that there is nothing more that I love than horrible movies staring animals. Can't wait.