Thursday, April 15, 2010

What is wrong with Seacrest?

So, I am slightly addicted to American Idol. You all might know that from my slight Glambert obession and Kris love. Anyway, I digress. Anyone watch Ryan Seacrest on Tuesday's show? He was so so so weird.

First of all, he says the weirdest things. Always awkward. He makes lots of gay innuendos (which leaves one thinking that Ryan might be swinging the other direction) to Simon. And Simon looks at him like he's a retard....and that might be because he IS a retard. He made a "joke" (I put it in quotes because I am saying that he is incapable of making a funny joke) by saying that Brian Dunkleman, who was one of the original hosts of American Idol, would be hosting the 'Idol gives back' episode. No one laughed. But that is probably because a) it didn't sound like a joke b) how is that funny? Then he had say "just kidding."

My favorite part was during Big Mike's song, you could see him in the far off distance dancing with another dude. Gay. Obviously. He is trying to be funny, but no one really could see it. I just guessed that it was him. So, to make his point and get the attention that an attention whore like him needs, he thanked his new boyfriend for the dance.

Have you seen him next to Casey James? He looks like one of the little chocolatiers. I really think that him and Tyra Banks should get married because she is an amazon woman and he's a midget and they are equally annoying so it's perfect. Then we can exile them to Patmos. Oh, and can I PLEASE PLEASE have Casey James's babies? Just a thought....

Oh, and can we just talk for a second about Simon Cowell's dress code for a second? What is with all the v-neck white t-shirts? I buy mine at walmart 5 for $10. He's rich. He can afford something a little bit nicer....oh, and maybe a bro. His moobs are poking out and it looks like his nipples are staring at me....

Monday, April 5, 2010

A new low...

So, I am not really into reality TV because I feel that ALL of these people show the absolute lowest form of society. I see Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (I've never actually seen the show) I want to throw up. Have you seen what she has done to her face? But I digress. I do however love "The Soup" on E! I heart Joel McHale. He makes fun of all the people on reality TV and Tyra Banks. It's awesome.

Again, I digress. Here is the lowest form of humanity that I have seen....I was sitting here doing my homework (which I am now avoiding)and I saw a commercial for one of those "text this right now and get this ring tone" and guess what it was...text the word FART to such and such a number and get a farting noise sent to your phone. In addition to the nasty noise coming from the TV, there was a pink elephant lifting his leg farting....oh, and the area underneath the tail (known as the buttocks) was lime green. I'm uncomfortable. People please never text that. If you do, you might as well be Spencer Pratt. Disgusting.