Friday, January 21, 2011

Some more resolutions!

This year I thought I would document my new year's resolutions because I always forget what I said I was going to do. Now, I know you all will think, "YES! Now that is a resolution!" And work towards being more of what I will be by the time 2011 is over....

1. Win Publisher's Clearing House. I am Mormon so the whole gambling lottery thing is out of the question, but something HAS got to give here, people. I owe Obama so much money and he never told me about this whole paying him back thing...

2. Perfect my Scottish accent. I can pretty much pass for British so it is time to move forward to another part of that world.

3. Become a natural blonde. I am sick of this whole getting my hair done every 8 weeks. Time to change that business.

4. Stop spilling orange juice on top of my head. I have pictures and a story for a later post.

5. Shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. I keep singing about, so I think I better do it otherwise everyone might start to think I am lying.

6. No split ends in 2010.......doesn't sound as good as 2011.

7. Find that unicorn again. I swear we saw a white unicorn frollicking in the hills this summer.

8. Eat more donuts. Nuff said.

9. Graduate from school. This one is serious. Sorry.

10. Wear my sweatpants more often. I welcomed a new pair from Yale this year. I might purchase some U sweats.....still thinking about it.

11. Become a Samuari master. Can totally happen.

Yep, I have some lofty aspirations for 2011.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A Year in Review

So, I dedicate this to Mike and Madelyn since I just had lunch and they told me it was time to update the ol' blog, so here it is.

2010 was a hard year, I am not going lie. I had to watch The Last song staring a brooding Miley Cyrus and Greg "my career is dying" Kinear. I was visiting my friend Tia in Montana and she made me. As all of you know, I hate Nicholas Sparks. The devil has a special place reserved for him in hell. It was bad, there were sea turtles, and (spoiler alert) Greg dies. Nicholas need new material.

In addition to having to watch that, I was busy and stressed and tired and Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat which really ruined my desire for sandwiches, which is really important to me! Work has been very good, but very exhausting. I love working for the church and being able to therapize some peeps, but I am a work-a-holic. You wouldn't know that about me if you just met me because I come off VERY lazy, but oh contraire (did I just make up a word? or at least the spelling? I could look it up, but I'm too lazy) I work a lot and I schedule my time far far in advance. For instance, I was set up on a couple of blind dates this year (its my thing, you know- keep sending them my way. I accept applicants from ages 21 to 35) and I had to schedule them out a week or two in advance. Busy busy.

Another reason that 2010 wasn't that great of a year- I have to wear nylons to work. Sometimes I don't (rebel) but when I do, they just cut my stomach in half and cause all sorts of bunching. I remember the days of being a missionary on the streets of NYC and having to wear layers upon layers upon layer until I looked like the kid on a Christmas Story, but who was I trying to impress??? Sooooooooooo ugly. Ask anyone. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Taylor got engaged this year. I love his fiance Polly. She is so wonderful and she likes Taylor, which is a miracle. The first Beames to get married is the baby. I think my mom did some serious damage to her girls......that is something I learned in my classes at school- blame the mother, works everytime.

My cousin Paige married my cousin Jarvis, which is weird. My 2 first cousins got married. Can we say backwoods??? Just kidding. It is a little odd. Her new last name is Beames......which is an awesome last name (you all are thinking "sure it is....."), but in our old ward in Provo, we all lived together and everyone knows that the Beames and the Hansens are cousins, so when Jarvis moved into the ward, everyone assumed they were cousins when they were actually engaged. Gross kids. On the bright side of things, I caught the bouquet. The last time I caught the bouquet was at Scott and Eva's wedding and I was the only single girl over the age of 7. I had the whole height thing going for me. Then they all cried so I gave it to them. I am so ashamed. Since that time I have pretty much shunned the whole bouquet toss, but I had to support of my 2 single sisters and a couple of Paige's cousins on the other side who are probably around 18. I had the height thing on my side again this time, but at least there were 2 adults and a couple of girls who should be graduating from young women's soon as my competition. It is definitely the year of the Sydney.....or all of my extended family (on both sides because they were all there) said it was. 2011, here I come.

So, I have some BIG news....I got bangs. Not the swoopy to the side stuff, but full on Tootie from facts of life. I. LOOK. GOOD. Just like this minus the turtle neck. Everything else is the same.

Ok, my peeps, I will try to be better at this whole blogging thing, but I don't forsee that happening until I find me a sugar daddy so if you know someone looking for a trophy wife, I am your girl!!!