Saturday, November 19, 2011

It's been a while

I have been such a slacker when it comes to the blog-o-sphere. I apologize to my readers (I like to pretend like I have readers...). And so, I give you the update on me life (I have been watching Dancing with the Stars with Jan and there is this super sexy Irishman on there and he says things like 'me life' so I have adopted it. He's not gay, just European.)

Well, I have been full-time employed for over a month now and I am very happy. I love what I do. I love having money. And get this, I have benefits. Take that Obama-care! Actually, Obama-care really had nothing to do with it, I just want to sound all political and moralistic. It makes no sense, but to others who know nothing about this stuff like me, I sound like a woman of the world. It's a lie. I am just a woman of Lehi/Provo.

In other news, I hate dating. Shocking, right? I know. I am not bitter. I do not blame my singleness on anyone but myself (and then again I don't really do that because have you seen my face? Ain't nothing wrong with that). I am not all grumpy about men not asking me out or the questions as to why I am single. I don't care. I just really really hate first dates......I can be oh so charming and flirty (haha...I don't think I know how to flirt to save my life) but I just get so BORED. And, the worst part is, I CAN'T WEAR SWEATPANTS. Horrible.

Today, I had a brunch date. Weird. I was up and ready by 10am on a Saturday. Tragedy. It was fine and he was nice, but his favorite band was Matchbox 20. Who's favorite band is Matchbox 20???? Gross. Now, are you sitting down? Because you need to be. He likes Nickelback. I feel like only Communists and Nazi's like Nickelback. Not because they like the music, but they know that its the lowest, dirtiest, most rotten form of torture out there. Everything I liked, he hated and everything he liked, I hated. Le sigh. It was not meant to be. He will never call again and I don't really care. We were set up through my sister in law, Polly, who was college roommates with his sister in law. Polly has never met him. It was one of those, 'oh, I know a single woman and you know a single man, so it's perfect!' Needless to say, I think I am done with the blind dates. No mas. I am seriously considering cats. Or a hair-do like Helena Bonham Carter. Nothing says crazy single woman more than that. Except Helena is with Tim Burton, but I picture him looking like Jack Skelington, so it really doesn't count.

In other news, I think I am moving back to Provo. Yep, Provo. I had dreams of Boston or DC and getting out of this one horse town (lie- I am sure there are like one brazilian horses in Lehi) and doing something different. I guess that is just not in the cards right now. Therefore, P-town, here I come. Maybe a new adventure will happen there. Like the guy who plays Thor will join the church, move to Provo, and fall madly in love with me. I would take that. Actually, I know a fine gentleman caller (I wish he were my gentleman caller) that looks like Thor and might be my dream boat, but alas and alack, he lives far far away and does not lover me the way I creepily lover him from afar. But that is another story all together.


  1. Beams! I seriously love you! You bring joy to my life with your posts. They crack me up. I miss ya chica!

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, "I know a single guy and you are a single girl, it must be perfect"! Classic! But seriously though, I know a guy...