Thor vs. Wolverine in a battle to the death! Or for my eternal love...

Who is the more manlier man? In this in depth article, I will discover who is the manliest using a point system that is completely biased on my own opinion and therefore, totally credible.

In order to truly understand who is the manliest, we have to take a closer look at them sans shirts. It is only fair. This is a tough one. Both have REE-Dic-ULOUS arms they kind of make me wanna cry a little bit, but with pecks like that, I am afraid that Thor will take the cake here. He gets eight points- one for each peck and his six pack.

Superhero powers- Well, Thor is a God, so that is kind of cool, has super human strength (in every bulging muscle), but I think that a hammer is the weirdest weapon. My dad uses a Yankees hammer that my cousin Whitney gave him. The Yankees are awesome, but that hammer is no crazy-metalled-claws-fused-to-rapidly-healing-bones kind of weapon. I tend to like self-made superheros (which is why I will always pick Batman over Superman. Batman did it all on his own while Superman was just that way) So, we'll give ol' Wolvey 6 points for his claws.

Overall likeablity- Thor is a self-entitled butthead (yes, I said butthead. If he can act like a 6th grader, then I will use 6th grade name calling). He whines and thinks he knows everything and doesn't listen to his one-eyed father. Now, I have an uncle who just had his leg amputated and he is essentially blind, and trust me, I would listen to Steve if he were a blind one-legged God who had fought a lot of wars and kept peace in the Universe because he OBVIOUSLY knows more than I do, but in the end, he sacrifices being with his lover, me (ok, fine Natalie Portman) for the betterment of the universe.... Wolverine is no peach either. He actually is kind of a jerk. Most girls would find him mysterious and have this inner desire to save him from himself and try to make him a good man. Not me. I am a therapist and I absolutely would not want to come home and have to do therapy on him. I do not like the bad boys. Plus, he drives a motorcycle and my daddy said I could never get on one. He does fall for that Jean Gray, but never really humbles himself like Thor does, so here is three-quaters of a point for Thor. If he continues to prove himself, then we will round up to a full point.

Scary factor- they say a picture says a thousand words, so we will let the photographic evidence speak for itself.

Not that scary. Not that bad-A. Just swing my little hammer and I will either put a picture up on the wall (which a woman always likes) or fly through the universe.

Ummm.....how did they get every single vein in his body to explode like that? I don't think that while editing this film, they thought "hey, let's do some air brushing and make him have more veins so he seems more threatening." I think that the vein-spolsion happened on its own and I am a bit intimidated right now. If the question were "who could hang the family photos better?" then it would go to Thor, but in defending my honor (as if I had any....) would go to Wolverine. He only gets a half point for my honor. There really isn't much to protect....

Finally, the last round goes to the best accent, naturally. Both are from Australia so all I have to say is "yes, please." But, unfortunately little Hugh Jackman did not speak with his natural woman seducing native tongue while Chris Hemsworth did, so the winner winner chicken dinner in this category is Thor. He can use his native tongue on me anytime (that might possibly be the dirtiest thing I have ever written on my blog. What say ye?) Three points!

I'm also going to through in a little love for the actors that play them. I like a clean cut man, so let's get rid of the long hippie hair and the Ace Ventura copy hair cut.....

Hmmm.....I lover Hugh in Scoop. I have never such a tall dark and handsome man pull off a finely tailored suit like he does. But, hello??? Can we just take a moment to stare at old blue eyes here? Conclusion.......speechless.....3 points to Hugh for wearing a suit so well, and 2 points to Chris for peering into my soul (umm, confession. I just typed peeing into my soul. Not on purpose, but I did most certainly laugh out loud for a second.)

And so, the winner of the first Annual Sydney's Manliest Man contest is.......drum roll please....

THOR with 13 and 3/4 points and the close runner up with 9 1/2 points is WOLVERINE. But seriously....I will take whichever one I can get.